asternx Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 before i say anything, i just want to say that i'm 17 years old and some people may think "oh she's too young to know about love and relationships", but i don't care what you think and i'm going to say what i want to say. i met this guy in the summer of 2009 on an American summer camp and we instantly had a connection and we've been in an unofficial long distance relationship since then. i saw him for the first time in person since then only a couple of weeks ago, as i went to his home town for a week (in san diego). it was truly amazing, and it was like we weren't ever apart. however on my last night in town, he sat me down and he told me that he no longer wanted us to be close, he no longer wanted us to talk as often as we do and he wants to move on and forget. i'm one of those people that gets attached so easily, so obviously when i saw him i became attached again. he said nothing about becoming casual friends or talking once a month like he does with all the other foreign people he met, but he wants to forget me, and attempt to erase the memories he as of me. i was and still am heartbroken. since this a forum for that kind of thing, i want to know if anyone has any advice on how i can move on from someone like him. oh and since me coming back to london, he's tried to contact me in several ways but i've managed to put up a sort of barrier despite how hard it is. if anyone reading this has any advice, no matter how harsh it may be, i would really appreciate someone trying to help me get through this.
silvermane187 Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 It's for the best. You're really young and shouldn't feel commited to a boy thousands of miles away. I know it hurts like hell but you will get over it and meet someone else sooner or later. Focus on yourself and your future, try not to dwell on it too much. And whatever you do don't remain in contact with him until you're compeltely over it. It will only prolong your healing.
ShatteredReality Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Silver is right....keep up with the NC if getting over this guy truly is what you want. Also, that is too much distance to have between you when you're not in a position to make any life changes to shorten that distance. This scenario is not as uncommon as you'd think and spans all age groups. Your pain is real and shouldn't be discredited. One thing I will say, though, is that he's probably young as well and right now neither of you should be making life altering decisions based on a relationship. I am sure you've already heard that from others, but the fact of the matter is, right now is the time to set yourself up for when you are older...to mature and grow into the woman you want to be for the rest of your life. If you tie yourself to a man (any man) in a permanent type of setting you will most likely try to mold yourself into the woman that he wants rather than the woman that you want to be. And perhaps while you're doing it you will want to be that woman...but it will be because it's what he wants and you just want to make him happy. I would give the same advice to a guy btw - right now is when you should be exploring for what you really want in another person...what are you willing to live with forever and what do you expect someone else to put up with from you? Find this guys faults and really analyze them. It will help you heal also. Don't fool yourself and say he had no faults...also recognize that the connection you felt will be felt again with someone else, so he's not as special as you think he is right now. DO NOT IDEALIZE HIM! He's not perfect. If you ONLY think about all of the things that you miss about him it will be harder to get over him. Put him out of your mind and concentrate on something else entirely...do something for yourself and for your own "betterment". And I am sorry you're hurting...cause it so sucks...been there...It gets better in time.
Recommended Posts