shadowwave Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Been reading a few threads, seems to be a common feeling at the moment: disillusionment with online dating. Can I say I was on e-harmony? Not anymore. I thought with paying sites you were directed to people who were very interested in a relationship....? Or is that my own crazy misconception? On POF one "person" told me in his first message to me he would like to bend me over and do me up the Harris. I mean come on, wtf happened to Hi? The ones I like don't seem interested and the ones who say they want to **** me I dont like. Do I stay on there and persevere or give up and stay single? If I stay on, is it advisable to be bold and message the ones I do find I like, or go with the old fashioned notion of letting a guy come to you? (No pun intended)
Jazzari Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 I was very happy with Match.com. But perhaps it was just luck.
marigold7 Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Online dating can be difficult, especially when there are people like that guy you talked about, but if you're super patient, there are decent people on those sites. It's really up to you whether you want to persevere or "give up." If it's getting to you, don't put up with it, but if you can find it amusing or not that bothersome and not take it personally, the long term results can be rewarding. But don't think of leaving the online dating world as "giving up" - in fact, it may actually open you up to more possibilities of dating since you might go out more often and thus find a guy who's not a jerk. I think it's fine to message guys you find that you like, but don't sweat it if they don't respond. I found my current boyfriend of almost six months after less than a month of using OKcupid and things seems to be going well. I actually messaged him before he messaged me. Best of luck!
Author shadowwave Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 Thanks Marigold, I guess I'm just a bit jaded by it all! Opening up a message and reading "wanna make love?" has me wanting to reply with "hell yes, just not with you sugar ;)"
ReadyforLove Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 OLD has been a complete waste of time for me. I have gone back to the old fashion way and it is so much better. With OLD everything seems so forced and rushed.
Anxiety Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Thanks Marigold, I guess I'm just a bit jaded by it all! Opening up a message and reading "wanna make love?" has me wanting to reply with "hell yes, just not with you sugar ;)" That would be hilarious....Well as long as you weren't saying it to me.
Author shadowwave Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 That would be hilarious....Well as long as you weren't saying it to me. I promise next time I get a message like that I'll say it
TokyoG33kyGal Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 i had no luck with other dating websites as far as finding someone within the country that i can date. but i kept some of my accounts just in case someone decent is interested in me hehe. i met my fiance on a dating site but i wouldn't have noticed him if he didn't add me onto his favorites. i get the notification for it so i checked who checked me out. it's like finding a needle in a haystack.
sagetalk Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 With OLD everything seems so forced and rushed. Agree 100%
USMCHokie Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 With OLD everything seems so forced and rushed. In my experience, I also have to agree with this. It's a lot less organic and a lot more mechanical. It almost feels scripted and doesn't allow for the relationship to progress or grow naturally as it might if you met in "real life" or through mutual friends. I've also noticed that I have a tougher time developing a genuine emotional connection to girls I've met from online dating...they usually end up going south...
soulm8 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 The ones I like don't seem interested and the ones who say they want to **** me I dont like. Do I stay on there and persevere or give up and stay single? If I stay on, is it advisable to be bold and message the ones I do find I like, or go with the old fashioned notion of letting a guy come to you? (No pun intended) I've been tempted to pull my profile(s) but then I realize I just need to take a break. There's nothing wrong with sending a message to a guy! You just have to be careful and make sure that he reciprocates the effort. You can tell if someone's just being polite... there's a big difference between sending a first message to see if there's any interest, and chasing a guy. It's fairly easy to make the idea of meeting up his idea.
Author shadowwave Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 In my experience, I also have to agree with this. It's a lot less organic and a lot more mechanical. It almost feels scripted and doesn't allow for the relationship to progress or grow naturally as it might if you met in "real life" or through mutual friends. I've also noticed that I have a tougher time developing a genuine emotional connection to girls I've met from online dating...they usually end up going south... I did once have a relationship with someone from POF. After 2 years we went our separate ways. But since I've returned it seems much more difficult like you say to generate that emotional connection with another. There is one guy I do enjoy talking to, and he has asked me to meet him, which I will. But the general majority I'm finding rather scary. I'm also finding it difficult with regards to phone number sharing. I'm put off by guys who ask for your number, and you think ok, then the guy gets suggestive without even a hint of this before in the messages. So when I don't share my number because I feel wary, they then get annoyed. (Which truly justifies my NOT wanting to give out my number.) It all seems very complicated and stressful!
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