Lolita_Sky Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 What should I do regarding this situation? I never intended for things to end up like this between us. Why am I letting this bother me so much? Okay so about a month ago my ex broke up with me. Through out the length of the break up he was very cold towards me. I tried really hard to be nice and friendly towards him. So maybe two weeks into our break up I ask him to return my things. He tells me to not worry about it and that he would mail them to me the following week. We live about 45min away from each other so me going to pick up my things wasn't really a choice. So three weeks have passed and he still has not returned my things which by the way one of those items is very rare and very expensive. I contact him at most once out of each of those three weeks to remind him about my things. He kept putting it off until the next week, but would NEVER send them off in the mail. So by the third week I was fed up and just finally put my foot down and sent him a message on fb. I told him that he did not keep his word in regards to him returning my things I said that I foolishly trusted him in believing he would send me my things which he did not. I said that he obviously did not respect me or my feelings knowing that my possessions (especially the rare item) were so important to me. I said it lead me to believer that he was not taking the matter seriously. I told him that I patiently waited for him to return my things, and that waiting three weeks is generous enough to wait for him to return my things. I said further that if he could not afford sending me my things in the mail he could have contacted me so that we could have came up with a better idea so as to return each others things. I suggested that he could leave my things on his porch and I can come and pick them up, and I leave his things on his front porch. That way we do not have to see each other. I said that I just wanted to get my things and leave everything else where they should be, in the past. He comes up with this excuse that he was busy getting my things together after moving (he had two weeks prior to this move to send me my things so I see this as a lousy excuse) into a new apartment. He claims that he will mail my things the following morning and after that I will never hear from him again so that I can go and assume things about other people. He "apologized" for being "considerate". Any way not even an hour after sending me that message and blocking me on fb (yeah, I know right?) he sends me a text message saying my things are on my front porch. Well the next morning I send him a text message saying that I still have his things and that I will keep them for a maximum of three weeks until discarding them. He blatantly lies and text me saying that he did not read my text and simply deleted it because he didn't want to get pissed off. But yet he goes on to say that he would prefer to go and buy all of the things he left with me before interacting with me to get them back. He told me that he never wanted to hear from me again after the big deal I made of my things being returned. He said that he has always taken me seriously and sense I want to leave things in the past then I will never hear from him again. Now what I don't understand is WHY is he so angry? He broke up with me and is mad because I want to move on?? I recently got into a new relationship and am very happy he treats me a far cry better than the ex ever did. He BLOCKS me of fb and tells me to never contact him again, I didn't do ANYTHING to him! I was a loving girlfriend, I would do almost anything and everything for him, but he never appreciated me. He didn't even get me a Valentine's gift and didn't even feel bad that I had gotten him one. I never said anything bad about him to his friends or anyone else. Then he goes and says such mean, cold, bitter things to me. Is it because he found out that I was in a new relationship, or that I moved on before him? Why am I letting this bother me so much? Its been a week and some days since the incident but I just keep thinking about the whole situation. Can someone give me some advice? Throughout the course of that break up he kept telling me that he has been "perfectly fine" for weeks. He told me that he could not will himself to try and make me happy so I should accept that fact and move on. He said that I deserve someone better. So I did just that and moved on and found someone FAR better. So why is he angry that I have moved on?
Kilty Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Hiya and sorry to hear how things are. I think you have got it in one and answered your own question. From a male perspective he will be raging that you have moved on and are happy with someone else. Yes i know he ended it but i bet he wasnt expecting you to move on so quickly. Its simple human male emotions - you have replaced him without any drama. You really should have been a whimpering wreck after he dumped you and pleaded to get him back ! It is also possible he may have had second thoughts but you have snuffed that out and he is looking for someone to blame other than himself ? Youll just have to ignore it and break all contact completely
Jonesey Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Hi is pissed you let him go, therefore the raging emotions. I have been there and felt that way before....unfortunately. Hope it helps.... Jonesey
Author Lolita_Sky Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 Hiya and sorry to hear how things are. I think you have got it in one and answered your own question. From a male perspective he will be raging that you have moved on and are happy with someone else. Yes i know he ended it but i bet he wasnt expecting you to move on so quickly. Its simple human male emotions - you have replaced him without any drama. You really should have been a whimpering wreck after he dumped you and pleaded to get him back ! It is also possible he may have had second thoughts but you have snuffed that out and he is looking for someone to blame other than himself ? Youll just have to ignore it and break all contact completely Thanks for replying to my post! Yeah I think you're right. If he wanted to get me back he did a terrible job of showing it. I told him when we broke up that I was well aware of my worth and that I wasn't going to hold on to him or beg for him back. I know I am a great catch and would be a fool to hold on to someone who basically told me I'm not good enough for them. I meant every word of it too. I guess he thought I was bluffing. If he didn't want me to go and find someone else he shouldn't have said what he said. Thanks again for your reply!
Author Lolita_Sky Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 Hi is pissed you let him go, therefore the raging emotions. I have been there and felt that way before....unfortunately. Hope it helps.... Jonesey I still do not understand why he'd feel this way. He broke up with me and told me to MOVE ON. He was so adamant about us not being together, he said I deserved better. I think he just wanted me to stay stuck on him, but I refuse to. My pride wont allow for it. I am well aware of my self worth and I told him this. Why do you guys feel this way? It's confusing to me...
Fufu Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 With regards to why he was angry and in rage, it's his own issues, you don't have to dwell over what he feels anymore. You are in a new relationship, it should be time you let go of him. The time you were with him were all in the past. Treasure your present and look forward to a better future with your current bf.
Author Lolita_Sky Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 With regards to why he was angry and in rage, it's his own issues, you don't have to dwell over what he feels anymore. You are in a new relationship, it should be time you let go of him. The time you were with him were all in the past. Treasure your present and look forward to a better future with your current bf. It's not how he feels that bothers me the most, its how he has treated me. I was a good friend/girlfriend to him. I never did or said anything to hurt him, I was even willing to forgive him for hurting me with the break up. But this....something as small as me asking for my things back for closure on that past relationship drives him to sever all ties with me. It just shows me how much he valued me as a person and as a friend. If anything it has pissed me off how he has the nerve to play the "victim" after all he's done to hurt me. But its his loss not mine, he'll have to live with the decisions he made. I am moving on though, my new boyfriend does make me happy and I forget all about the ex whenever I'm with him. Thanks for your reply.
Fufu Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 It's not how he feels that bothers me the most, its how he has treated me. I was a good friend/girlfriend to him. I never did or said anything to hurt him, I was even willing to forgive him for hurting me with the break up. But this....something as small as me asking for my things back for closure on that past relationship drives him to sever all ties with me. It just shows me how much he valued me as a person and as a friend. If anything it has pissed me off how he has the nerve to play the "victim" after all he's done to hurt me. But its his loss not mine, he'll have to live with the decisions he made. I am moving on though, my new boyfriend does make me happy and I forget all about the ex whenever I'm with him. Thanks for your reply. It's the same how he feels, how he treats you, what he does should not bother you anymore. Glad to hear your happy with your new bf
Author Lolita_Sky Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 It's the same how he feels, how he treats you, what he does should not bother you anymore. Glad to hear your happy with your new bf Yeah, you're right it shouldn't bother me anymore. Thanks!
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