purplepanda Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Last year, on April 25, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. We talked off and on, but he wanted it to be normal conversation, when I wanted to talk about why the relationship failed. I spent all summer really depressed, then started the school year. I went three months without speaking to him, breaking that the day I got a cell phone in December. Sometimes I couldn't help it, you all know how it is. At the end of January, his girlfriend freaked and wouldn't let us talk anymore. I decided it was a good thing. We didn't speak for two months, until his/our friend told me that my ex wanted to talk to me. I got emails from him, on a new myspace (I blocked him on his old one and on facebook), apologizing for his behavior. He said he wanted to be friends again. His girlfriend had broken up with him a month before, for a somewhat friend of his. We saw each other at a school function that weekend (we live 50 miles apart), and hung out. At the end of the day before we said goodbye, he kissed me, and told me he still loved me. I realized that I loved him too. A few days later, we made it official. He came to my prom, we hung out all day beforehand, and that night. Afterprom, then he spent the night at my house (my parents were hesitant about us, but they let him stay in the room next to mine ), and we spent the afternoon together, and took him home. I was so happy. We spent 30 hours together. I have never felt this way, and I've never been so...LIGHT, as when I'm with him. Prom was 10 days ago. He broke up with me last night. April 25. AGAIN. He kept saying, 'Just break up with me already'. "Why?" "Cause I'm an idiot." I didn't understand...then he started saying, "I don't want to cheat on you." I kept asking WHO IS SHE? He'd say, "No one". Finally, I said "If there isn't anyone then why are you saying you don't want to cheat on me?" "Her name is Kindall. We've been working on my senior project (which is anime), and she's been drawing anime with me." All the girls he dated after me were freshman. All of them. My friend is friends with her, and he said she's a freshman too. Idk what to do. I brought him into my home, he slept in one of our beds...I wanted to build trust, and build a better relationship. He's impulsive, and we've only been together three weeks, so it's only just happened within the last couple of days. He hasn't thought this through. How do I get him back?
TaraMaiden Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 (edited) Try to get this: it's not a question of whether you can get him back. it's a question really, of whether you should even try. He's admitted there's a possibility he's developing feelings for someone else. He's trying to tell you that although he was prepared to fall back into old habits (and try the familiar again), in fact, he knows it would probably not work, because he loves you - but it's not a strong enough love to over-ride anything he might feel like doing, with someone else. My suggestion to you, is that you're both a little young to be banking your future on a single life-mate, now. And frankly - I think he's right to not be too seriously, uniquely and exclusively committed to you. Life is a long road, and the chances of you walking it together, for life, for ever, are very, but very, slim. What has gone on with you two in the both distant and recent past - is really just something you need to put down to experience. And hard as it may be to accept - the future with him, and him alone, isn't one I would be hanging all my hopes on. Be you - Without him. Edited April 26, 2011 by TaraMaiden
Author purplepanda Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 My suggestion to you, is that you're both a little young to be banking your future on a single life-mate, now. And frankly - I think he's right to not be too seriously, uniquely and exclusively committed to you. It's just that he came back AFTER A YEAR, and said he made a mistake...he said he wanted to be with me. it's not fair for you to say, "I think he's right in not taking it seriously". He screwed me over. After he finished what he started. :'(
TaraMaiden Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 ...... It's just that he came back AFTER A YEAR, and said he made a mistake...he said he wanted to be with me. it's not fair for you to say, "I think he's right in not taking it seriously". I believe I also said: "it's not a question of whether you can get him back. it's a question really, of whether you should even try." and - "He's trying to tell you that although he was prepared to fall back into old habits (and try the familiar again), in fact, he knows it would probably not work, because he loves you - but it's not a strong enough love to over-ride anything he might feel like doing, with someone else. " and - ...."hard as it may be to accept - the future with him, and him alone, isn't one I would be hanging all my hopes on." He screwed me over. After he finished what he started. Screw me over once, more fool you. Screw me over twice, more fool me. Look, the guy behaved like a complete @sshole and a total jerk. Now, you have a choice: You can let him live rent-free in your head, cloud your every thought, lament, complain and protest - or - you can show him you're made of tougher stuff than he thinks, remind yourself that you have more dignity in your little finger, than he has decency in his whole body - and show like you don't care, because he's a scumbag, and he doesn't deserve your wasting any more emotional input. . Anyone who can play softball with our hearts, doesn't deserve a second of our time.
Author purplepanda Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 I believe I also said: "it's not a question of whether you can get him back. it's a question really, of whether you should even try." and - "He's trying to tell you that although he was prepared to fall back into old habits (and try the familiar again), in fact, he knows it would probably not work, because he loves you - but it's not a strong enough love to over-ride anything he might feel like doing, with someone else. " and - ...."hard as it may be to accept - the future with him, and him alone, isn't one I would be hanging all my hopes on." Screw me over once, more fool you. Screw me over twice, more fool me. Look, the guy behaved like a complete @sshole and a total jerk. Now, you have a choice: You can let him live rent-free in your head, cloud your every thought, lament, complain and protest - or - you can show him you're made of tougher stuff than he thinks, remind yourself that you have more dignity in your little finger, than he has decency in his whole body - and show like you don't care, because he's a scumbag, and he doesn't deserve your wasting any more emotional input. . Anyone who can play softball with our hearts, doesn't deserve a second of our time. Thank you. It just felt like you were saying he's right or something.
TaraMaiden Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 He's right to think that committing to a lifetime relationship right now, isn't the ideal thing to do. But he's wrong in the way he behaved, he's a jerk, a player, immature, selfish and thinks with his dick, not his head. You really don't want to commit to a guy who's led by the feeling in his loins. That makes him completely untrustworthy. QED.
D-Lish Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Learn now while you're young NEVER to accept being second best. NEVER accept being cheated on, NEVER accept abuse or any sort of poor treatment, NEVER accept anything less than a relationship you are worthy of. Dr Phil said it best in his defining statement "you have to teach people how to treat you". I'm sure Oprah said something similar at some point but it's so true. Learn young to tell someone to **** off when they don't treat you with respect.
Author purplepanda Posted April 29, 2011 Author Posted April 29, 2011 Learn now while you're young NEVER to accept being second best. NEVER accept being cheated on, NEVER accept abuse or any sort of poor treatment, NEVER accept anything less than a relationship you are worthy of. Dr Phil said it best in his defining statement "you have to teach people how to treat you". I'm sure Oprah said something similar at some point but it's so true. Learn young to tell someone to **** off when they don't treat you with respect. Heck yes!!! Thanks
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