Woggle Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 I loathe cheating but you should not snitch on your friends like this. You can tell him to to his face he is wrong but loyalty between friends which in many cases is like brothers should come first. I would never snitch on the people I loved even if I hated what they were doing.
linwood Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Another part is, if you attended the wedding of the couple in question, you are responsible to a vow of your own. A couple marries in front of friends and family because those are the people they consider a support group who can help the marriage succeed and grow. This was the original intent of having guests present when making wedding vows. If you find that one half of the couple is shrugging their duty (cheating or otherwise) you've been asked prior to help them stay on track. You also made a promise to the betrayed spouse. You witnessed their love unite so that anyone questioning the validity can hear your testimony that the union is fact. Should you not also be willing to testify the fact of present danger? This is utter and complete bull****, in fact it`s been ages since I`ve seen so much bull**** in one place. Unless you have an intimate emotional connection with a couple you should MYOB in any and all of their affairs. If you do have such an intimate connection with a couple and discover one of them is cheating you should hash it out with the cheater. It`s not your place to play games with someone elses relationship.
donnamaybe Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 There you go again...assuming that just because someone got cheated on they are innocent.... you all of a sudden know all their business....you just know their whole situation and you as an outsider (who really knows jack sh*t) should just go sticking your nose in other peoples situation....that you know f*ck all about. LMAO so then cheating is her punishment? That's healthy. Play the "get back" passive-aggressive pointless BS. Why am I not surprised?
HalfAlive22 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 There you go again...assuming that just because someone got cheated on they are innocent.... you all of a sudden know all their business....you just know their whole situation and you as an outsider (who really knows jack sh*t) should just go sticking your nose in other peoples situation....that you know f*ck all about. LMAO Blah blah blah....yawm yawn
donnamaybe Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 This is utter and complete bull****, in fact it`s been ages since I`ve seen so much bull**** in one place. Unless you have an intimate emotional connection with a couple you should MYOB in any and all of their affairs. If you do have such an intimate connection with a couple and discover one of them is cheating you should hash it out with the cheater. It`s not your place to play games with someone elses relationship. If the cheating douchebag hadn't drawn the OP into his business, he wouldn't be in it.
HalfAlive22 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 so then cheating is her punishment? That's healthy. Play the "get back" passive-aggressive pointless BS. Why am I not surprised? We r sticking our nose in on a public Board?and you don't know their story either
HalfAlive22 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 We r sticking our nose in on a public Board?and you don't know their story either Stonecold that is
donnamaybe Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Blah blah blah....yawm yawn I think what really pisses some people off is discovering there are people who are unwilling to help them keep their dirty little secrets because they might get busted some day by someone with a little integrity.
StoneCold Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 We r sticking our nose in on a public Board?and you don't know their story either uh noooo ..... we are on a public board providing our feedback that was requested. Big difference and no... I dont know their story either which is why my stance on this really is NEUTRAL (unlike some people.....). The only thing I'm not neutral on in this thread is the OP's decision to stick his nose where it never belonged in the first place
StoneCold Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 so then cheating is her punishment? That's healthy. Play the "get back" passive-aggressive pointless BS. Why am I not surprised? Donna my point is...in situations as described by the OP.... "you dont know so stay out of it and dont assume". Whats so hard about that to understand?
StoneCold Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 This is utter and complete bull****, in fact it`s been ages since I`ve seen so much bull**** in one place. Unless you have an intimate emotional connection with a couple you should MYOB in any and all of their affairs. If you do have such an intimate connection with a couple and discover one of them is cheating you should hash it out with the cheater. It`s not your place to play games with someone elses relationship. I second this
Silly_Girl Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 If the cheating douchebag hadn't drawn the OP into his business, he wouldn't be in it. Donna, if the WS believed he was talking to a true friend, I think it reasonable for him to assume there would be no subsequent telling of tales.
confusedinkansas Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 This is utter and complete bull****, in fact it`s been ages since I`ve seen so much bull**** in one place. Unless you have an intimate emotional connection with a couple you should MYOB in any and all of their affairs. If you do have such an intimate connection with a couple and discover one of them is cheating you should hash it out with the cheater. It`s not your place to play games with someone elses relationship. Whoop Whoop!!! YEAHHHH!! What Linwood Said! EXACTLY M * Y * O * B
donnamaybe Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 We r sticking our nose in on a public Board?and you don't know their story either The one thing we DO know, however, is someone is lying to someone else and POSSIBLY risking their life with an STD. And no one is supposed to tell? Cold hearted and self serving.
donnamaybe Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Donna my point is...in situations as described by the OP.... "you dont know so stay out of it and dont assume". Whats so hard about that to understand? But you said something to the effect of "but we don't know what the BS did." To me that means you think she may have DESERVED the cheating, which then leads me to believe that you think the "get back" PA game is the right way to handle a R.
StoneCold Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 The problem isn't where OP was sticking his nose; the problem is where OP's friend was sticking his..."thing"...where it "didn't belong." Its not up to the OP to decide where his "thing" belongs to begin with as: A) Its not his "thing" to rule over and B) He is not a part of that relationship at all.
StoneCold Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 But you said something to the effect of "but we don't know what the BS did." To me that means you think she may have DESERVED the cheating, which then leads me to believe that you think the "get back" PA game is the right way to handle a R. Deserved it?... you know what perhaps she did...perhaps she didnt....who the f*ck knows none of us have all the info...so why pretend like you do. and again with this... "whats right"...you know what hypotheically speaking, if the spouse did their fair share of ****...would that be right? I'm not talking about right and wrong...I could care less about that because many things we do is a shade of gray. I'm talking about a possible action - reaction
Carrot2000 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 OP was minding his own business. He felt a moral or ethical obligation to disclose his friend's cheating to his friend's betrayed spouse, as a fellow human being who deserved to know. Not only that, the OP told his friend that he was going to tell the wife. If he hadn't disclosed his intentions, I'd agree that he was out of line, but he was upfront about what he was going to do. The friend had ample opportunity to come clean on his own and obviously chose not to.
StoneCold Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 (edited) Actually, that's your viewpoint, which you are contradicting by trying to impose your views on the OP. Follow your own advice and mind your own business. Edit: IOW it's not up to YOU to decide for the OP what the OP feels are the appropriate boundaries of behavior in the relationship he has with his cheating friend and friend's betrayed spouse. By your own logic, that's for OP to decide, not you, and you need to stay out of his business. Hello... He ASKED for our opinion so he got it.... You may have missed this part but thats the whole Idea when you post something like that on a DISCUSSION board Edited April 29, 2011 by StoneCold
donnamaybe Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Deserved it?... you know what perhaps she did...perhaps she didnt....who the f*ck knows none of us have all the info...so why pretend like you do. and again with this... "whats right"...you know what hypotheically speaking, if the spouse did their fair share of ****...would that be right? I'm not talking about right and wrong...I could care less about that because many things we do is a shade of gray. I'm talking about a possible action - reaction You still didn't address the very valid point I brought up, and since the proper or improper handling of a R can either make or break it (or lead to straying or whatever), I feel it's good to know where people come from. So - since you brought up what the BS may have done to bring on the cheating, is that how YOU deal with R issues? Get backs? If so, it would explain a LOT.
StoneCold Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 You still didn't address the very valid point I brought up, and since the proper or improper handling of a R can either make or break it (or lead to straying or whatever), I feel it's good to know where people come from. So - since you brought up what the BS may have done to bring on the cheating, is that how YOU deal with R issues? Get backs? If so, it would explain a LOT. Cheating is how I deal with MY needs as a result of certain challenges spawning from a bad relationship.....has nothing to do with getting back....and its not how I deal with issues with the spouse...thats a totally different thing for me
donnamaybe Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Cheating is how I deal with MY needs as a result of certain challenges spawning from a bad relationship.....has nothing to do with getting back....and its not how I deal with issues with the spouse...thats a totally different thing for me Nice word salad!
StoneCold Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 (edited) Nice word salad! Hey if you dont get what I'm saying....oh well...no skin off my back lol Anyways you are hijacking the thread Edited April 29, 2011 by StoneCold
donnamaybe Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Hey if you dont get what I'm saying Oh, I get it - completely.
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