Vitai Slade Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 (edited) I fell in love with a girl that really took my breath away. She was with someone at the time... one of my now ex-friends. It all started in a small community of people who got together based around a specific hobby/interest. I met her and instantly felt a connection. There was a spark there that I didn't normally feel. After a week or so, we started talking online and really blossomed, learning all kinds of things about one another. We grew very very close very fast. She opened up to me and I did to her, problem is, she was still with her boyfriend. We had an INTENSE, indescribable connection that eventually led to an inevitable affair which led to the end of the relationship. We never did date... I was just kinda strung along until the affair and then her emotions flipped on me. All of the sudden she hated my guts (though I learned eventually that she never really hated me even though she wanted to) She broke off contact with me in every way and I was forced to deal with the pain alone. I eventually did get over her and moved on to different people and new relationships. But the story doesn't end there. Every year, maybe once a year or so, I'd check up on her online profiles, journals, etc. and I'd send her an e-mail. I was over her mostly at this point, though I did still love her tremendously. We didn't ever keep in contact, it was always just an e-mail or two until just recently. It's been four years since our first "hook-up" and we suddenly came back in contact. All of the emotions that had been there four years ago rushed back to me and flooded my heart. She was still with this other guy, but he was being very abusive towards her. I eventually convinced her to get out of the relationship and she came to stay with me. We had a wonderful first two months together. It was absolutely fantastic sex with a fantastic love and bond for one another. It felt like one of those storybook fairy tales... but everyone knows that those don't happen in real life. She just recently broke up with me about a month ago saying I was too clingy, co-dependent, and pushy. I've been trying to get back with her ever since but she wants nothing to do with me anymore. We had an intensity about our relationship before that makes me feel like I just can't let this go. This one is special. She was absolutely perfect for me in every way, helping me grow, making me a better person. But now she says that I have no shot with her. Ever. I'm so broken... I know I need to start with the no contact once more, but I feel that in a year or two, things might come back to me again like they did after those four years we were apart. It would be worth waiting for if it ever came back... my time with her was the very best of my life... and I can't think of anyone that could fit me more perfectly. I'm struggling... I don't know what to do. I found this place... maybe you guys could help? Edited April 26, 2011 by Vitai Slade
Moutonrose Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 I too thought the guy I was with was my soul mate....turns out he is way far from it I think you should focus your energy on getting over her completly...no offence but you are worth way more a couple months of being with each 3-4 years!!!! you seem like you would want to take the relationship further with her eventually and maybe she doesnt. maybe she likes the ''new'' feeling to a new relationship. the first 2 months are always wonderful because thats just it...it's new. you cannot be used like that...to make sure that this dosnt happen again and hurt you once more, you should go back full NC. no email once a year no nothing.
Author Vitai Slade Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 As much as I hate to admit it, I know you're 100% right. I've been struggling with this back and forth for a good few weeks now, but realizing what very little chance I actually got with her for having chased her around so long... I'm worth more than that. If she ever wants me back, she's going to really have to prove to me she means business and work really hard because I am going to decide right now to move on. I can't keep letting myself get used and abused like this. Starting NC: Day 1 - 11:00am
Recommended Posts