autumnbethesda Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Its been a bit over 2 weeks since xguywGF disappeared after a good conversation. I instituted NC immediatly as ihe was the one to promise to call me, and I didn't want to regret reaching out and being ignored, or looking like a fool again since I told him how I felt. Basically, I've been in self preservation mode and doing a ton of reading. I've determined my closure is his not calling/not wanting to talk to me and that he's prolly a CP. I've been as ok as possible. Until today. A work issue involving someone close to me came up and so I know xGuy and coworker spoke. Thus, making me feel like I'm dead to him. That I never existed and that I was never anything to him. That I'm worthless-to not even deserve a text with an excuse. The pain I feel right now is funeral type. I have never felt this type of rejection in my life. Even though logically I know that he changed his mind abt us and its Over for him for whatever reason, I guess I held hope for something. After 2 weeks its clear, he aint coming back. How do I even process or heal when I can't get over the fact that I'm dead to him?
whichwayisup Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 NC is meant for you.. And you're the one who started NC, right? Seems you're taking NC too personally and making yourself feel worse. Why? He is in NC mode with you now. He made his choice, and that means not seeing/talking/texting/emailing with you. Sorry you're hurting but he is doing what's best for him and his girlfriend. Instead of beating yourself up, focus on letting go, and grieving. It's okay to feel sad, that's what the healing process is all about, you need to go through different stages of it all so you can feel better..There is light at the end of the tunnel.
carelesswhisper Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 I am going through a similar situation, only that we're both married. I am not sure if he will contact me again, but I understand the terrible feelings of just being left hanging. I'd much rather hear an, "I'm sorry but we can't continue this" or something than nothing at all. I've been depressed for about a week, but things do get better. I have my good days and bad days. It's always so hard in the midst of the situation when the world seems like it's literally going to end...but I promise you, it will get better and you'll heal with time. I am still having moments where I just want to lay down and cry, then there are times I feel fine. So I totally understand what you're feeling. PM if you ever want or need to talk.
JadedAmore Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Agreed, allow yourself time to grieve and experience the sadness that is inevitable. However, do not obsess over it. I don't even know if my xMM is trying to sort things out with his W, but in the beginning I convinced myself he was and felt so much hurt -- it was like I had days where I couldn't even breathe. Those moments will pass, and you will find someone much better who deserves to treat you the way you be treated. After 2 months NC those moments are almost nonexistent and he is a memory, which is hopefully what will happen for you. Hang around and let it out, we're here to listen. Get a hobby, try something you've always wanted to do. Keeping your schedule and mind full will nudge those nagging thoughts of your x away. Good luck.
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