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Posted

How many chances can u really give someone before tapping out?

 

what makes someone really fall in love? is it just sex? or emotional attachment?

 

If they hurt u too much do u give them another chance? is 6 years of chances worth it?

Posted

How many chances did our exes give us before they make their way out of the relationships?

 

 

If relationship is only just based on sex and/or emotional attachment, it's not a true relationship after all.

 

I don't see any chance, I only see moving on and forward.

Posted
How many chances can u really give someone before tapping out?

 

what makes someone really fall in love? is it just sex? or emotional attachment?

 

If they hurt u too much do u give them another chance? is 6 years of chances worth it?

 

Those are some tough questions.

I don't think you can really put a number on chances, if so, your probably not in love or care very deeply for the person. Ask yourself how many mistakes have you made in life - and how many times have you been forgiven. You probably don't know the answer - most are probably with friends or family who really care about you and don't keep count. The same applies to a loving relationship, you don't keep track.

 

Falling in love is not a mathematical formula. 1 + 1 does not always equal two. Having emotion plus sex does not equal love. It varies with each individual person, it's knowing what their unique needs are and fulfilling them completely or as best you can.

 

Overwhelming hurt is a difficult one. Only you can know your limits. My attending at the hospital have patients who repeatedly smoke, drink and do illicit drugs. As a health care provider we look past the persons choices and treat them. We don't ever stop counseling and giving them opportunity after opportunity to turn things around. Every once in a while you save one and it makes all those years of trying worth it. Expanding this to your situation, it's what you can handle and what you can endure. If you have reached your limit, you have reached your limit - don't do more than you are capable of handling. Your sanity is worth protecting in the long run - however, if you are not at that point - I don't think there is anything wrong with giving another chance. I'm a big believer in another chance, I don't set the bar of expectation too high that I set them up for failure, but so long as they are making an effort, one day true change can and will occur.

 

Have faith. Hope that helps.

  • Author
Posted
How many chances did our exes give us before they make their way out of the relationships?

 

 

If relationship is only just based on sex and/or emotional attachment, it's not a true relationship after all.

 

I don't see any chance, I only see moving on and forward.

 

 

No they didnt.

why is it so hard to get over? to let go? why do they fall in love with someone else? what did i do wrong?

  • Author
Posted
Those are some tough questions.

I don't think you can really put a number on chances, if so, your probably not in love or care very deeply for the person. Ask yourself how many mistakes have you made in life - and how many times have you been forgiven. You probably don't know the answer - most are probably with friends or family who really care about you and don't keep count. The same applies to a loving relationship, you don't keep track.

 

Falling in love is not a mathematical formula. 1 + 1 does not always equal two. Having emotion plus sex does not equal love. It varies with each individual person, it's knowing what their unique needs are and fulfilling them completely or as best you can.

 

Overwhelming hurt is a difficult one. Only you can know your limits. My attending at the hospital have patients who repeatedly smoke, drink and do illicit drugs. As a health care provider we look past the persons choices and treat them. We don't ever stop counseling and giving them opportunity after opportunity to turn things around. Every once in a while you save one and it makes all those years of trying worth it. Expanding this to your situation, it's what you can handle and what you can endure. If you have reached your limit, you have reached your limit - don't do more than you are capable of handling. Your sanity is worth protecting in the long run - however, if you are not at that point - I don't think there is anything wrong with giving another chance. I'm a big believer in another chance, I don't set the bar of expectation too high that I set them up for failure, but so long as they are making an effort, one day true change can and will occur.

 

Have faith. Hope that helps.

 

 

 

He wont get off the drugs. he wont even come to pick up his clothes. he wont show me his face! he is in love with a heroin addict. what type of life is that? why would u come to be with me and then go back to her?

Posted

Normally I would say everyone gets one second chance as long as they show true remorse for hurting you. Fool me once, etc.

 

But let me get this straight. He's a heroin addict who is 'in love' with a fellow junkie? Drug addicts are a whole different case. Run for the hills before he infects your life more than he already has. It may seem heartless but it's what is best for you if that is the case.

Posted

silvermane187,

 

I have to agree with you here. Addiction is a whole different monster. Without critical intervention and support from professional staff its difficult almost impossible to make progress on your own. If you really care for him, suggest he seek help, provide a place for him to go, maybe even drive him there. Other than that, you can't do much. It's best to cut your losses. He is not driven by love, he's driven by a physiological craving that his body feels it needs. This truly is a different monster.

Posted
No they didnt.

why is it so hard to get over? to let go? why do they fall in love with someone else? what did i do wrong?

 

We all make mistakes because we are human beings. When a relationship fails, don't take all the blame on yourself. Learned from mistakes and grow from them. Always look forward and move on whenever a relationship fails.

  • Author
Posted
We all make mistakes because we are human beings. When a relationship fails, don't take all the blame on yourself. Learned from mistakes and grow from them. Always look forward and move on whenever a relationship fails.

 

 

Its our daughter that i hurt for more. He wont take any help. hes on pills booze and anything he can do. the girl is a heroin addict. He wont even show any of us his face. he left all his clothes behind and his sister called him and told him he cant come back because the kids cant see this type of behavior. How did this happen? I dont know. he went from mourning 2 deaths one of his best friend and his other daughter .. to slipping into this life he has now. he was fine before. why cant he just go back to normal...

Posted

I'm sorry your going through a difficult time, and with a child in the picture only compound and complicates the situation.

His addiction cannot be understood logically, it's entirely physiological. I would highly recommend that you seek professional help to aid in the process of getting him back to "normal".

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