irc333 Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 This thread spun off from the long dating thread about lack of dating experience. Someone mentioned about how someone doesn't drink, which could be a turn off for women who do drink socially. IN my case, I do tend to drink socially, but some people DO take notice that I don't drink ENOUGH. Like they see me working on the same beer for a half hour, and they're like (This is just people in genera/ or friends) they're like, "Um, you're just having one?" It seems that not drinking "enough" is about as bad as not drinking at all? Do some people feel the need to be inebriated in order to be socially accepted?
orangelady Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Like I was saying in the other thread, on my dating profile, I checked the box for "don't drink" instead of "occasionally drink" or "do drink" for my match preference. However, 99% of the profiles show that men either have "occasionally drink" or "do drink" on their profiles about themselves. Guys who don't drink ROCKS.
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Yeah, I don't drink, but neither do most of my friends and they do just fine. In fact the guys I know who do drink do worse with women than the guys who don't. Some people will care, but really, it's not a big deal.
Nexus One Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Screw those guys that are having 20 to 40 beers and then end up unconscious on the sidewalk when trying to get home from a night out. As if we should take advice from those kind of guys about not drinking enough.
Professor X Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Beer... Bread juice. I don't drink, I find alcohol quite disgusting really. Some of my friends do drink a lot, and we never had any problem or awkwardness or never did any of them tell me something about it. I am socially accepted for what I say and do, not for what I drink or not.
orangelady Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Some of my friends do drink a lot, and we never had any problem or awkwardness or never did any of them tell me something about it. I am socially accepted for what I say and do, not for what I drink or not. Depends. Once one of my friends asked if I drink and I said no, he said "Aww you should learn to have some fun sometimes."
Professor X Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Depends. Once one of my friends asked if I drink and I said no, he said "Aww you should learn to have some fun sometimes." Oh, I don't drink because I don't like the taste of it. It's not like I'm not drinking because of some hidden ideology or I'm against drinking or I'm a to much of an uptight person.
GivenUp0083 Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 This thread spun off from the long dating thread about lack of dating experience. Someone mentioned about how someone doesn't drink, which could be a turn off for women who do drink socially. IN my case, I do tend to drink socially, but some people DO take notice that I don't drink ENOUGH. Like they see me working on the same beer for a half hour, and they're like (This is just people in genera/ or friends) they're like, "Um, you're just having one?" It seems that not drinking "enough" is about as bad as not drinking at all? Do some people feel the need to be inebriated in order to be socially accepted? Wow dude, all new low for you, evaluating why women don't like you and chalking it up to the reason as "not drinking enough".....just wow dude. I mean really? You think that not getting *****faced hurts your social status or ability to be social? How old are you? Maybe in college you might see peer pressure to drink a lot of alcohol like at a party or something, but in the adult world I don't ever see people do this. Seriously, how old are you? You gotta be like 21 or 22....
Jazzari Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 I don't drink at all and it's never been a problem. I don't mind if the guy has a few, but getting drunk is a deal breaker.
ASG Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 I do drink, but there's nothing worse than being hit on by a drunk guy. It's a big turn off! My ex doesn't drink at all and that has never been a problem for him.
Star Gazer Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Wow dude, all new low for you, evaluating why women don't like you and chalking it up to the reason as "not drinking enough".....just wow dude. I mean really? You think that not getting *****faced hurts your social status or ability to be social? How old are you? Maybe in college you might see peer pressure to drink a lot of alcohol like at a party or something, but in the adult world I don't ever see people do this. Seriously, how old are you? You gotta be like 21 or 22.... Agreed. Unless you're living the Greek life in college, not liking to get drunk should be a non-issue.
Author irc333 Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 Wow dude, all new low for you, evaluating why women don't like you and chalking it up to the reason as "not drinking enough".....just wow dude. I mean really? You think that not getting *****faced hurts your social status or ability to be social? How old are you? Maybe in college you might see peer pressure to drink a lot of alcohol like at a party or something, but in the adult world I don't ever see people do this. Seriously, how old are you? You gotta be like 21 or 22.... Seriously, man, not sure why you're assuming that about me, you're way off. But yes, it happens in the adult world...even heard certain people that stated that they didn't trust anyone that did not drink. Well, it's been known to happen, it happened in my work place. I worked for the US Govt at one time, contract work....and we'd stay over the week at the hotel on site. It'd be the night before we'd have to be up early in the morning for work, and these guys would be hungover when hitting the field. When I was in the hotel lounge eating with them, one guy was getting wasted and obnoxious, talking on the cell phone, and cursing. One of the parents (father) approached him and asked him to cool it, because his son was with him, my co-worker basically told him off. One of my co-workers asked me, I think he noticed I was still on one drink, a,nd he asked, "So, you don't drink that much, do you?" And I said, "No, not really" Then he gave pause, thought a bit, and said, "oh, okay, that's cool..that's cool" Not sure what he was thinking about though, but I often wondered those people who like to indulge might judge those that don't. Some of them were just out of college though, so it makes sense, others were in their 40's, too. or older
Nexus One Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 (edited) And I said, "No, not really" Then he gave pause, thought a bit, and said, "oh, okay, that's cool..that's cool" Not sure what he was thinking about though, but I often wondered those people who like to indulge might judge those that don't. I'm getting the feeling they were probing if you were a party spoiler. Some people at parties or nights out want to completely lose it, they don't want anything holding them back, spoiling the party or telling on them afterwards. The latter especially holds true if there were/are people above you guys that could fire you if anyone spills what happened on those trips. So if they know you too are a big drinker, then they'd know you wouldn't tell on the group, because you'd be in on it. Edited April 26, 2011 by Nexus One
Author irc333 Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 You're on the money Nexus.....Well, I heard of situations where we'd get a big meeting once a week, and the big boss would get phone calls about certain things employees did...and would told us to cool out jets when at a week long conference and such. Sometimes we went beyond the hotel lounge to a local restaurant, and they'd get plastered, and they'd drop me off, while they continue to bar hop on a Wed night before work. A tax payer takes pretty much great pleasure in seeing their "Tax dollars" at work, (sarcasm intended, lol) when they see such behavior. and then they see one of those gentleman drive away in a Govt vehicle a little buzz, even though it's a couple mile drive between the restaurant and the hotel. Man, phone calls will start coming in if some bystander sees this. lol Sorry to be a buzzkill to the co-workers, but I'm not going to get myself in trouble. I'm getting the feeling they were probing if you were a party spoiler. Some people at parties or nights out want to completely lose it, they don't want anything holding them back, spoiling the party or telling on them afterwards. The latter especially holds true if there were/are people above you guys that could fire you if anyone spills what happened on those trips. So if they know you too are a big drinker, then they'd know you wouldn't tell on the group, because you'd be in on it.
denise_xo Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 I don't drink either and I don't experience it as a problem. I don't know how old you are, but it was more of an issue when I was in uni and a lot of social activities were more centered around alcohol consumption. Now I occasionally have someone make a remark, but they get over it pretty quickly.
Lilmisus Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Though it may make you look less fun to your coworkers, or buddies of yours, I think not drinking as much may actually be a plus for many women in the dating world. I like to know that a guy doesn't have to get wasted in order to have a good time, and doesn't need a few in him in order to keep conversation rolling and keep things going smooth, or to have confidence when talking to me. When I had my online dating profile up for a couple of days I put that I don't drink at all (I was drinking for the first time in forever while I was making the silly thing... ), and multiple guys commented on that fact, saying that they thought that was an awesome feature of mine..including guys who drank excessively. I'm pretty positive that it was just their way of keeping conversation going and try to get me to loosen up, but many guys that I know in person seem to feel the same way. I don't see why women your age wouldn't feel the same way about your drinking preferences. Sometimes just having one or two drinks is the best choice to make, and is oftentimes the most respected one.
EasyHeart Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 I understand where IRC is coming from. I've never been much of a drinker, and I rarely drink now because of medical issues. It's fascinating how judgmental people get -- in dating and non-dating contexts -- if you choose to not drink. I've always wondered if it's a regional thing, because I live in an area where people drink A LOT, but I've never understood it. I've actually had people get red-faced ANGRY because I ordered a Diet Pepsi instead of alcohol.
gromit Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 (edited) Screw those guys that are having 20 to 40 beers and then end up unconscious on the sidewalk when trying to get home from a night out. As if we should take advice from those kind of guys about not drinking enough. Wow, that sure can't be real (Belgian ) beer then, now way you'd get that far. Getting pissed together can be quite fun though (I think), but no good sex will come from it.. Edited April 26, 2011 by gromit
OliveOyl Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 "Don't drink at all" is wayyyy better than drinking too much. Sure when you're first hanging out with someone you might want to have a few to ease the jitters, but in the long run, things are better when you learn how to enjoy social company without resorting to alcohol. My stbx drank too much and it was a major issue.
Darren Taylor Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 I understand where IRC is coming from. I've never been much of a drinker, and I rarely drink now because of medical issues. It's fascinating how judgmental people get -- in dating and non-dating contexts -- if you choose to not drink. I've always wondered if it's a regional thing, because I live in an area where people drink A LOT, but I've never understood it. I've actually had people get red-faced ANGRY because I ordered a Diet Pepsi instead of alcohol. I think it happens in more locations than we believe. I live in southern California and we obviously a lot of beach girls and party chicks. Then you have the hick areas where there's basically nothing to do but drink. I don't drink either and I generally don't have much of a problem. But it probably would be if you were in a sorority/fraternity.
lurkerlurker Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Some of you (males) who don't drink and have problems in social settings and talking to girls.... Don't you think there is a correlation? I've been reading many of these threads and feel that is the real difference between myself and many of you. I have the same fears and insecurities. In fact, I still do and I have had many relationships and many sexual partners. I don't know that you ever get rid of these feelings. I NEVER really know what to say to a girl and it is hard as hell to approach them. But with a slight buzz, not drunk mind you, I turn into almost a different person. My brain stops second guessing. They don't call it courage juice for nothing. I'll be honest. Outside of social setting with alcohol, I would probably never get laid. Well, at least at the beginning of my dating life. Alcohol is God's gift to the socially inept/awkward as far as I'm concerned.
GivenUp0083 Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 (edited) This thread spun off from the long dating thread about lack of dating experience. Someone mentioned about how someone doesn't drink, which could be a turn off for women who do drink socially. IN my case, I do tend to drink socially, but some people DO take notice that I don't drink ENOUGH. Like they see me working on the same beer for a half hour, and they're like (This is just people in genera/ or friends) they're like, "Um, you're just having one?" It seems that not drinking "enough" is about as bad as not drinking at all? Do some people feel the need to be inebriated in order to be socially accepted? You're moving the goal posts, changing the story. You first said you tend to drink socially but not ENOUGH. Then you make up a story where you didn't drink at all.....two totally different scenarios Each week you come up with a new excuse why women or people don't like you and blame everyone in the world for your social and relationship goal shortcomings. Until you take a look in the mirror, you will always be the socially awkward creepy dude that no girl wants to set up with her friends or go on a date with herself. You come here starting threads that ask questions, yet you have all the answers. Keep doing what you're doing, it's obviously working out well for you. Maybe you can blame me or people on this forum for the reason people don't like you. Edited April 26, 2011 by GivenUp0083
WillSingForFood Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 I wouldnt say that drinking too little is an issue with dating. Drinking too much is, but not too little. Unless youre just the lifeless one at the party everywhere you go and suck the fun out of the room.
ASG Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 I probably couldn't date someone that didn't drink at all for a particular reason besides just not liking the taste of it. I can handle that reason; that makes sense. What about someone who has a problem? My dad doesn't drink. He hasn't for over 30 years. Before that he would polish a bottle of gin and at least a bottle of wine every day. He then decided that that wasn't healthy and stopped. I can only imagine my mom was HAPPY when he did! My ex doesn't drink. He used to, a lot, but he also has alcoholics in the family and decided to stop drinking when he was in his early 20's, for fear of becoming like his relatives. If I was to choose a reason to make an exception, the "problem" one would probably be my choice...
Star Gazer Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 What about someone who has a problem? Never again will I date someone with a drinking problem, past or present.
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