spudman Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Hey Everyone - just joined as having a big issue with our relationship. Would be great if you could help. My girlfriend and I have been going out just over 2 years now. We spend the past 7 months living abroad, travelling etc and have just moved back to her hometown and moved into a house - we've been here 3 weeks now. Since we moved back in things havn't been right - she's been very down and upset, she'd cry randomly and frequently. We'd been trying to figure out what was wrong. Yesterday we had a long talk where she told me I was the problem - I don't take responsibility for my actions and if we had children she couldn't ask me to do things like get them ready etc She said it was a part of my personality I have to change if we have a future together. Now I know it's very difficult to give context to this as you don't know us, but I've never done, or would ever do anything harmful to anyone close to me. I do admit I'm very laid back and carefree. I always have been. I'm also launching my own business at the mo which is full of risk and uncertainty, the completely opposite of what her view on life would be like as she would be naturally risk adverse. She's said she feels resentful of my business as I spend lots of time on it. The truth is that she was unhappy the whole time we were away too, she couldn't find a job (I did) and spent her time wanting to get back home. She gave up looking for work v.quickly and put on quite a bit weight. Now we're back she's wanting to go away again. I figure she may be a bit depressed. It's also her 27th brthday soon and she's VERY conscious about her friends who are having children and she's not. Two things I wonder: - I accept I am not the most typically reponsibly person, some might say it's a good part of my personality (carefree etc) but it's not for everyone I guess. How do I work on this? - I definately want to be the best, most rounded person I can be. Should I look at this as a major flaw in myself? - Is this all my fault? My girlfriend is saying my lack of responsibility is the reason she is so happy since our return, but she's been unhappy for the past 8 months. Something just doesn't seem to click with me. I've been really excited about moving intogether and the opportunities with my business, but I feel I'm being dragged down. Is it me? Please help
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