Imogen Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 I have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months and am very much in love with him. We have been very happy together until about 4 months ago. I suffer from anxiety which has made me very difficult to be around sometimes. My problem in the relationship is that because of my anxiety, I have been unable to join in with my boyfriend's friends at social events. They are a very wide, but close-knit circle of friends and I am hugely intimidated by this. My boyfriend has tried to encourage me, saying that they are nice people and they won't judge me, exclude me or be horrible to me, but a simply haven't been able to force myself to join in. I have consistently refused invitations, and then been really moody and snappy with my boyfriend if he attends these social occasions rather than spend time with me. We attended one of his friend's wedding on Saturday, but I was so nervous that I was moody and snappy and horrible to my boyfriend all day. The next day, he wanted to end it, saying that I had hurt him so much and that he doesn't see a future with me any more and that the spark has gone. I managed to pursuade him to give me one more chance, and I know I will be different from now on, because I love him so much and don't want to lose him. He says he loves me and that we can get through this and get back to how we once were. However, I am devastated that he said he sees no future and that the spark has gone. I went to his friends barbeque last night and got on well with his friends and he told me this had made him happy and that he loves me. Will we get back on track? I cannot eat or sleep as this has devasted me. Sorry for the long post. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
Fufu Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Firstly, you have to work on yourself. You need to eat and definitely you need to sleep. Don't neglect your health and well being just because of relationship obstacles. With regards to anxiety and not able to join in outings with your boyfriend and his friends, perhaps you can start slow like having 1 or 2 close friends to join you, and you can work this out with your bf. We attended one of his friend's wedding on Saturday, but I was so nervous that I was moody and snappy and horrible to my boyfriend all day. The next day, he wanted to end it, saying that I had hurt him so much and that he doesn't see a future with me any more and that the spark has gone. If I was your bf, I will be angry too because wedding is a happy occasion. However, don't over blame yourself too much. What done was done, learned from your mistakes and do your best not to do it again. ========================================================= I will say your bf is encouraging and supporting. Work on your anxiety issues and have a good talk with your bf on how you can hang out with his friends without feeling the anxiety. It can be done, believe in yourself. Congratulate yourself and be proud of yourself that you have done it great for getting on well with his friends. However, I am devastated that he said he sees no future and that the spark has gone. As to what he said over here, I can understand it is hurting to hear. Communication is key here because both of you are still together. Work things out together. Always work on yourself first, even if you are with your bf, you still have to love and treasure yourself as well.
Author Imogen Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 Thanks Fufu for your reply. It has helped me to put things a bit more into perspective.
Jonesey Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 WORK ON YOUR ANXIETY! If you don't, it will take alot of things from you, including your love. Trust me, I speak from experience! Jonesey
MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 I have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months and am very much in love with him. We have been very happy together until about 4 months ago. I suffer from anxiety which has made me very difficult to be around sometimes. My problem in the relationship is that because of my anxiety, I have been unable to join in with my boyfriend's friends at social events. They are a very wide, but close-knit circle of friends and I am hugely intimidated by this. My boyfriend has tried to encourage me, saying that they are nice people and they won't judge me, exclude me or be horrible to me, but a simply haven't been able to force myself to join in. I have consistently refused invitations, and then been really moody and snappy with my boyfriend if he attends these social occasions rather than spend time with me. We attended one of his friend's wedding on Saturday, but I was so nervous that I was moody and snappy and horrible to my boyfriend all day. The next day, he wanted to end it, saying that I had hurt him so much and that he doesn't see a future with me any more and that the spark has gone. I managed to pursuade him to give me one more chance, and I know I will be different from now on, because I love him so much and don't want to lose him. He says he loves me and that we can get through this and get back to how we once were. However, I am devastated that he said he sees no future and that the spark has gone. I went to his friends barbeque last night and got on well with his friends and he told me this had made him happy and that he loves me. Will we get back on track? I cannot eat or sleep as this has devasted me. Sorry for the long post. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks. This depends on how "real" it was before...if the two of you are just not a match things will go back to whatever for a short period of time...if you're just not compatible things will end up going bad again. You're going to have to really work on yourself and don't take things out on him. Why did you do that in the first place? (I'm not judging I just want you to think)....you may have taken him for granted or really not cared at that time....figure out other ways to take our your stress
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