sabienne Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Hi y'all, Haven't really explained my breakup on the boards, but to cut a long story short, he walked out afte six years with little explanation and then resorted to the silent treatment for two days afterwards, gave me the whole "love you but not in love with you" bull and that was that. We have been LC since (we have to be...see below), and NC for a week However, we are selling our apartment together which I am still living in. He told me last week he would come over Monday afternoon to paint some walls, etc, to get it ready to go on the market. We agreed we would both be responsible for this as the apartment is in both our names. I arranged not be home and left a spare key with the neighbor so he could do it himself and we wouldn't have to face each other. Well, surprise! He didn't show! He hasn't called or texted to tell me why and its really upsetting me that he gets to walk away commitment free with no explanation. should I confront him about it? What would you say? What medium should I use to do so? I really dont want to have anything to do with him but he is being very immature and I feel very unfair. This is driving me insane.
Fufu Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Since you are in the midst of NC, you don't have to confront him why he didn't turn up. He said he will come to paint the walls but ended up he didn't and no contact from him. So, you don't have to contact him at all.
Author sabienne Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 I know I don't have to - but then I feel like he's getting away with just offloading all the responsibility on me which I feel is not fair, and if I ignore this Im just going "yep, cool, I'll look after it, you go on pretending the last three years you owned this place never happened!"
Fufu Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 He's getting away, it's up to him. His decision and this just shows that he doesn't value what he said to you.
healingmovingon Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 From my perspective (and I know how hard it is to see), just keep your eye on the prize: selling the apartment and never having to deal with this irresponsible, inconsiderate loser any more. Give him a piece of your mind and never look back. Just my opinion.
Author sabienne Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 Thanks for the input guys I sent him a text saying that he needs to either rearrange a time to come and help me, or he needs to let me know he isn't ever coming so I can do it myself. He sends back that he doesn't want to help, so he won't be. I sent back that while I appreciate his honesty (finally!), I think he's selfish and irresponsible and I was really hurt and disappointed by his sudden change in personality, and that one day he will be faced with problems he can't run away from and ignore. I'm not sure if I should have thrown that in, but it made me feel better! That was this morning and he still hasn't replied to that. I'm feeling so disillusioned by the fact that someone who said they loved you and who was nothing but incredible to you for years could turn around and behave like this.
Fufu Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 That's the issue I fear of contacting. Whenever we sent a text or email or any other forms of communication to our exes, we always have that feel of "If they will ever reply us ."
Author sabienne Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 Yep! And predictably, I have spent much of this evening in tears because he hasn't responded and it feels like he doesnt care. I actually think with him it's more of a case of "if I don't respond, I don't have to face you and the guilt I have caused by being an incredible douche". Still though, it doesn't help that it makes you feel worthless and invalidated. Can not wait until this place is sold and he can just get out of my life and I can hopefully start getting him out of my head and my heart.
PinkChic Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I can't blame you for texting.. I think I would have done the same thing... and probably said much worse knowing me He SAID he was going to come and help... It's just as much his place as it is yours... I sure hope your making him pay half the rent and what not every month... That was a real jerkish move of him and to say he doesn't want to help... He sounds like he is definitely going through the guilt stage... he doesn't want to face you... You deserve much better!
Fufu Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Yep! And predictably, I have spent much of this evening in tears because he hasn't responded and it feels like he doesnt care. I actually think with him it's more of a case of "if I don't respond, I don't have to face you and the guilt I have caused by being an incredible douche". Still though, it doesn't help that it makes you feel worthless and invalidated. Can not wait until this place is sold and he can just get out of my life and I can hopefully start getting him out of my head and my heart. You will start to move on when you put your heart into it You are not worthless at all, no one is worthless.
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