jeweleestar Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Reading some of the posts the past few days of the personal discoveries that people were making, I knew that I could make it through this. I was finally starting to have more good moments of the day than bad. Really taking time to work on me and figure out why I ended up in this situation. The hurt that I have in the pit of my stomach and the tightness that I feel in my heart reminds me that I don't want someone that makes me feel this way. I realize that after my last relationship, and the baggage that came with it, that I was just wanting to feel loved by someone. I wanted to feel whole again and all this ended up doing was having me hurt and feeling guilty. I have to work hard to not think about his wife and how dishonest he is with her and my role in that. Part of these feelings have to do with situations that I discovered with my own parents. What got me in the end was when I learned that his daughter is the same age I was when I walked in and discovered the infidelity in my parents marriage. I don't want anyone else to feel what I felt. So I told myself that I had to leave the situation. It has been hard, but it was the right thing. I just wish that I didn't want things to turn out differently and me having that happy ending. I want to contact him, but I come here and read and take in the words of so many others in the same situation. It wouldn't be hard for me to find his number or email him. Unfortunately I am able to memorize stupid things and his information is one of them. It is in these quiet moments that my mind goes to places I don't want them to. Pity party table for one, your table is now available.
whichwayisup Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 The hurt that I have in the pit of my stomach and the tightness that I feel in my heart reminds me that I don't want someone that makes me feel this way. What you felt is wrong and unhealthy love. It's good that you don't want to feel that way and it's going to help you grieve and move on, and heal. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/ Here's a great thread to help you stick to NC. Read the first few posts, especially the first opening one. Everytime you feel like contacting him, remember how you feel and why..Then go read the above thread. Hope this helps. Stay strong.
Author jeweleestar Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 Thanks WWIU, I needed to read this tonight. Hopefully I will wake up feeling stronger and more determined to keep up NC. Day 8 today, I really didn't want to have to start over again.
whichwayisup Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 No new contact=no new hurts. Take this hour by hour if need be. During your low times/feelin weak like you want to reach out to him, come post here. Or, shut your phone off and GO for a brisk walk. Or have a hot shower, put on loud music and sing loudly. (last part, corny I know, but hey, it's a distraction.)
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