bslchump Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 A few days ago I got a text from her that went something like "hey, I hope you're ok. I miss you." I didn't respond to it, because it didn't feel like a "I miss having you as a boyfriend". It felt like a "I miss having someone around". She's still in her new LDR as far as I know, so it's not a request to date again. Naturally I haven't thought of much else these past few days. I'm still considering sending her an e-mail about how much worse my life is now thanks to her, but it seems petty and like it wouldn't accomplish anything. The trouble is, I go through panic modes (I'm sure you all know what I mean) where I think, "but if I don't contact her, then she'll forget about me!". It's just me trying to rationalize why I should talk to her, I think. I had a lapse the other day after looking at a picture of her, so the wounds are fresh enough where the memory of hurt is enough to dissuade me from emailing. But I'm scared I will anyway. Can you all convince me to just leave it? It sounds silly, but if I could just remember all your advice and repeat it to myself over and over when I feel like contacting her, that would help me a lot. ♥ to you all.
Duckduckgoose Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Just leave her be. If she's in a relationship her motives for texting you can't be that good anyway. As for telling her how much she wrecked your life... do you think a tornado cares what sort of destruction it leaves in its wake? Its best to pick up the pieces and don't keep looking over your shoulder hoping the tornado comes back.
Author bslchump Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 It's still hard to think of her as a "tornado". As being strictly bad. For years she was one great thing in my life, and now I have to shift to thinking of her as this awful person. It's tough.
whichwayisup Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 A few days ago I got a text from her that went something like "hey, I hope you're ok. I miss you." I didn't respond to it, because it didn't feel like a "I miss having you as a boyfriend". It felt like a "I miss having someone around". She's still in her new LDR as far as I know, so it's not a request to date again. Don't reply. Do your best to stay in NC mode and anytime you feel like contacting her, post here or call a friend for distraction. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/ A guide to help you stay in NC.
Leda Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Nah, you don't have to think about her as an awful person. Just try to focus your thoughts and attention on you, the parts of you that aren't completely entangled with her. Friends, working out, creative stuff, trying new things, learning things. Although of course you will still think of her, and still grieve, try to shift your focus for at least a few more months to other things. Then after you've healed a little, you can reassess your feelings for her with some broader vision. Take a little break from focusing on the good things or bad things between you, until you are feeling stronger and tougher.
Recommended Posts