dtdavies07 Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Ok so this is my first post so I will try to explain it the best i can. My wife and I would of been Married 3 years on 11/26/2011 this year. We have been through alot during our relationship. I was iraq for the first year and during our engagement. When I had came home on leave in 2008 I took her virginity and we had gotten engaged. I never knew I took her virginity until after she left me and told me. She said she was embarrassed and made a story about having sex once before me. Well once I got back from Iraq on 11/26/08 we got married that day. We had a few terrible months at the beginning because i was dealing with PTSD and she was only 18 and I was 20, so we were still kids and never knew how things were. Just around 9 months after we got married our first son was born. During this time we lived with her grand parents due to financial issues. We moved to a place in the country and hated it because of issues with the house. Soon after our first son she got pregnant again. This time it was bad, she went into labor about 3-4 months early and had to stay in the hospital for a about a month or so until he was safe to be born. He was born 2 months premature. He later passed on and grew his wings on 11/20/2010, six days before our anniversary and around thanksgiving. We rarely talked about this because she does not like to show her emotions. Well then we moved out of that house to another place in the country we loved. This is where things started being bad. She left me and told me things would never work. Well after about 3 weeks she told me she needed her space... I know she is talking to other men and has told me she cant be exclusive to just one man anymore. I also know she is grieving and is trying to find herself and find independence. She has told me she does not love me anymore although the other night I was rushed to the ER after mentioning suicide home alone and drinking and taking my Valium. She called to make sure I was getting better but has told me to move on. All I really want to know is may she just be acting out from depression and is trying to find herself and could come home eventually. I know she has said alot of hateful things and she would of told me if she was cheating. She said she just wants to talk to men as platonic friends and she don't want that right now. I would do anything to have her back and would forgive her even if she slept with other people during our break, the only thing is she wants a divorce as of now... But is there any hope at all. I will always love her and take care of her and my son even if we are not together. And I have told her I would always care about her. All I want to know is do I need to have any hope? Even if its far down the road after she feels she has grown up herself...
Author dtdavies07 Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 Please someone read this and give me some kind of advice
Author dtdavies07 Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 Sorry I forgot some information... Oh I forgot she is still on my phone account, she helps pay it but she does that, she asked me to take her cats back, she has not came and gotten all her processions, and she has asked me to get her ring back out of the pawn shop (we had a unexpected bill and needed money so we pawned our rings). Also she has told me she loved me after leaving and now says she doesn't... She also has show about 70% of all the symtoms of Bi Polar and has a akward way of dealing with stress. She believes people who are depressed are weak and she never shows emotion. And today we had to talk on the phone about our sons headstone and I started to cry a little and so did she but instantly quit crying and got somewhat angry and wanted to end the call...
Author dtdavies07 Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 wow over 25 views and not a single response thanks guys
Steadfast Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 You're packed a lot of grown up problems into two young lives, and now you have more. Worrying and second guessing isn't going to solve anything, nor is endless analyzing. Just know what you are feeling is normal; there would be something wrong with you if you didn't react with sorrow, grief and mourning. The key is to know when to let it go. As much as it hurts, you have to let her go as well. She knows you love her, she won't feel any differently if you back away and allow her the space she's seeking. Take that time alone to find and solve the things inside of you that you want to change. Do your military benefits cover counseling? If so, book some time and allow them to help you deal with the reality of this situation and the steps you need to move forward and grow. And don't forget friends and parents too. OK? Remain open. In time and with more experience, you'll learn exactly what you want in a woman and in a relationship. But don't forget to keep a certain amount of you in the picture. A healthy balance of friends and hobbies will allow you to appreciate your woman more. Give back what you take. People don't own each other in marriage, they share life and love. Demand it all! The best! Take care of yourself, one day at a time. Keep posting! Lots of good, caring folks here-
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