It's been 9months+, So where am I now?

[LoveTNT]

hello, Goodbye.

 

...but really though. Time does heal. It's crazy how the break up healing roller coaster, takes it's dips and quick viscous turns. Exciting huh?!! no not really Ha-Ha.

 

Anyhow, I've been growing so much through all this. I still have my moments here and there.

 

When you can go out and have a blast with friends, have some drinks, feel good and get home safe and not cry or think of them, you're further down the road to healing! Hahaha (silly advise but true)

 

What I'm excited to admit and look forward to is:

 

I've stuck with the grieving and the coping, it's like coming off a drug. You have to go through some type of detox and it's disturbing at times, but then there are those moments when you inhale and exhale and your damn proud of yourself.

 

I'm proud of myself because I haven't lied to myself and jumped into another relationship to try and save me. That's something that I was very familiar with before. It's ridiculous.

 

I can recall plenty of lonely moments where Its me, myself and my creator. I feel sad and lonely, but through that I'm healing. I didn't run and sleep with someone to feel better about myself. I didn't get into another relationship; I'm focused on me. I continued to work full time and go to school and I just recently got accepted as a transfer student to a university, so I have been active with my long term goals.

 

I'm proud of myself. The sadness doesn't go away forever with a snap of a finger. I still get in my moments, but I know longer have the intense urge to call him, see him or talk to him. I actually look forward to a better future and a great relationship, before it was hard to even think of being with someone else.

 

The current challenge is understanding 100% that his relationship with some of my family members is not in my hands. I won't lie when I found out a couple of months ago that he is really close to my guy cousin, it upset me, but whatever it's just another obstacle to overcome, and today I'm 79% better with that situation. The only thing is he's invited to my family wedding. At the moment I'm not over it completely to where I can see him and be like " hey what's up!". In all honesty I don't want him to show, but I have to be an adult about it.

 

 

Some advise: Blocking them from FB and sticking with it, does work, do it if you have to people.

 

Like many on here, I also do think to myself, "Geesh it's been like 9 months+, dang I should be over it".. but that's unrealistic. We all heal at different time frames.

 

I'm excited to know that when I'm ready for my next relationship, I will be able to give 100%, now that is wonderful.

 

Cheers to the healing process, the madness and bitter sweetness of it all.

 

Ps. I'm headed out to the Caribbeans this summer, It's a gift to myself.

 

Who ever is down, join me!

 

 

Peace & Love