Country_Girl Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 As of maybe 2 weeks ago, I have realized I am over the breakup after a little over 4 months. I remember coming to the boards daily, spending hours on the breakup/second chance sections. I thought maybe my relationship was an exception as I read stories of people saying to just move on. I held a candle to the wind and would not let the hope dissipate. I couldn't wait to fast forward the clock, it was sad that I was in so much pain, that all I wanted to do was speed up time. I'm finally here, and I'm finally happy again, something I never thought would come to pass. I think I have been over it for 2 weeks now, but I got my confirmation last night. See, my dumper has been struggling with guilt for the last 2 months, and every 10 days like clockwork, he breaks our mutual NC. He professes that he loves me and misses me each time, but never any certainty of a future. And just like the boy who cried wolf, he has done it too many times. When he said it last night, I said it back. But you want to know what I felt? Guilty, like I was lying. Don't get me wrong, I love him as a human being, but there is no ounce of romantic love left. This must be it, indifference. I'm feeling good. I am starting to notice guys again, something I thought I would not be able to do, because for the longest time, he was the only one I saw in my heart and mind. And as we spoke on the phone, I noticed my mind was trailing off, not even really paying attention to what he said. It was so strange, because I caught myself in that thought, and realized I used to hang on to every word. I used to think I would never find someone like him, someone with such a great sense of humor- and as he told some jokes I caught myself faking a few laughs. Gasp! I never used to have to fake a laugh with him, but I just didn't find him that humorous anymore. I've done it, I have finally done it. I have moved on and it feels great. He was never the source of my joy, I was, all along. It's been a long hard road to get here, but the journey was worth it, I have learned so much about myself.
Nick71 Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 Good on you Country Girl I'm getting very close to this moment. People will ask, beg and plead how did you get there but you will never know, it just happens when the time is right & after much discipline & patience. I am so close now, so so nearly there, I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and be a day closer. Bless you and enjoy your new freedom x
ilovedhim Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Glad you've healed. Thanks for posting this and giving us hope.
Blueberry7691 Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 GOOD FOR YOU!!! I think I'm there too. It does feel liberating!!! CONGRATS!
Stilicho Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 countrygirl, congratulations!! its a great feeling isnt it? i personally reached that point about a month ago, and havent looked back since! in fact, when i run into her at school, it is her that is the disheveled one. i thought id never reach this point, but here i am, dating again, being happy and enjoying life. its truly her loss, and i almost feel bad for her now in a way. strange, isnt it? to pity the dumper, who hurt you so much? life moves on, so move with it!! only look forward country girl, doors need to close in order for others to open.
Author Country_Girl Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 Good on you Country Girl I'm getting very close to this moment. People will ask, beg and plead how did you get there but you will never know, it just happens when the time is right & after much discipline & patience. I am so close now, so so nearly there, I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and be a day closer. Bless you and enjoy your new freedom x You are so right, I don't know what brought me to this point- but I guess the saying reins true, time really will heal all wounds. And it's so crazy, I was a mess for the first month, I really believed at the time that I would never get over it. Good for you Nick, you can recognize when you are on the verge of it & it won't be long now. It really is a great feeling in itself to know you are just about there, because you can feel a difference. Bless you! :-)
Author Country_Girl Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 countrygirl, congratulations!! its a great feeling isnt it? i personally reached that point about a month ago, and havent looked back since! in fact, when i run into her at school, it is her that is the disheveled one. i thought id never reach this point, but here i am, dating again, being happy and enjoying life. its truly her loss, and i almost feel bad for her now in a way. strange, isnt it? to pity the dumper, who hurt you so much? life moves on, so move with it!! only look forward country girl, doors need to close in order for others to open. It is, thank you! I am going on my first date this week, and I am so excited about it! I knew I couldn't date until I was healed, because I did not want to be responsible for hurting someone else (rebound). Oh I know, I have done the same, I actually feel great sadness and pity for my dumper as he sounds so depressed when I talk to him. And I fear the day he calls again, because I know I will end up having to tell him we cannot talk as friends for months or years, as I am moving on and it would not be fair to the new person. I think I am going to break his heart, which is ironic because he's the one that broke mine and decided he didn't want to be with me & didn't know what he wanted.
stopthemadness Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 It is, thank you! I am going on my first date this week, and I am so excited about it! I knew I couldn't date until I was healed, because I did not want to be responsible for hurting someone else (rebound). Oh I know, I have done the same, I actually feel great sadness and pity for my dumper as he sounds so depressed when I talk to him. And I fear the day he calls again, because I know I will end up having to tell him we cannot talk as friends for months or years, as I am moving on and it would not be fair to the new person. I think I am going to break his heart, which is ironic because he's the one that broke mine and decided he didn't want to be with me & didn't know what he wanted. Wow you sound like you are so healed from your heart ache!! Good for you. I too feel like am soo much better then I was before. But I still have bad days. But only when I see him in passing on the street. Its funny huh how life works out? Now its you whos telling him you dont want to be his friend. What goes around comes around. Carry on, you did it!!:)
Rosa Tamora Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 COuntry Girl. Congratulations! I am 1 month and 12 days post breakup and today I just realized it's the first day I didn't come home and feel like crying. Like you, i had little waves of indifference i.e "So what" wash over me when I thought of him. It would alternate with sadness...but here is the thing... I just started noticing cute guys too. HA! I'm almost there, reading your post was a good feeling. Cheers and love to you!
Recommended Posts