so_mo34 Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 i let a 36 year old man from work use me for sex for almost 2 years. i am 23 btw. we both work in a grocery store. we were kinda just like sex buddies, but i got super attached to him. he treated me like ****, hooks up with 18 year olds at work and talked a lot of **** about me behind my back apparently. i hate myself for staying around. i just kept hoping he would like me eventually and i desperately wanted his approval. i just feel so worthless now and a pathetic loser. i don't see him anymore, but this is the biggest regret of my life. im like permanently scarred and damaged for life it seems most painful thing i ever went through. do you think i am totally worthless? how can i move on and forget this? i just feel awful that he never even came close to liking me..
dreamingoftigers Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 No you are not totally worthless. Not at all, it seems though that you have the template for some unhealthy attachments. So: just how abusive and neglectful was your childhood? You are very young for having an attachment as toxic as this and that tells me that you have a very low self-esteem and there was no way that that was created in a vacuum.
veggirl Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 You aren't a loser at all. You do need to learn from this, though. I hope you don't still work with him, you don't need the day to day reminder. You need to get yourself into a place where that type of behavior is an automatic dealbreaker for you. Have you considered counseling for your self-esteem issues? Seriously, you will continue to find yourself in a cycle of bad relationships w/ ahole men if you don't find your self worth.
Professor X Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 You're not a loser, not at all, you're just a typical woman. By that I mean that you were hoping to change the "bad boy" into your own "good boy". You cannot change those type of men. A common mistake, just grow up from this.
Cracker Jack Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 You're young and you ended up making a mistake dealing with this guy, hoping he would eventually change. Most women often make this mistake. That doesn't make you a pathetic loser. Not at all. Just beware of guys like this in the future. Most guys won't change their ways by a certain point, so it's best to not waste time with guys like that. Find someone who's going to treat you right. Don't be too down on yourself.
Wolf18 Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 You're not the first woman to be taken on a ride by a cad/player. And you won't be the last. It's actually extremely frequent, don't feel bad. You should probably be wary of anything larger than a 5 year difference. Any man whose 36 and willing to date a 23 year old female is probably pretty immature.
alphamale Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 im like permanently scarred and damaged for life .. no, actually you're not
Nexus One Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 (edited) I think you met a 36 year old player. Cut it off, there are better men out there. He has nothing to offer you. You cannot change a player's attitude, because they do not respect women by default. Don't give him anymore sex. Edited April 25, 2011 by Nexus One
Jazzari Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 i let a 36 year old man from work use me for sex for almost 2 years. i am 23 btw. we both work in a grocery store. we were kinda just like sex buddies, but i got super attached to him. he treated me like ****, hooks up with 18 year olds at work and talked a lot of **** about me behind my back apparently. i hate myself for staying around. i just kept hoping he would like me eventually and i desperately wanted his approval. i just feel so worthless now and a pathetic loser. i don't see him anymore, but this is the biggest regret of my life. im like permanently scarred and damaged for life it seems most painful thing i ever went through. do you think i am totally worthless? how can i move on and forget this? i just feel awful that he never even came close to liking me.. You made a mistake and gave this guy 2 years of your life. If you continue to feel worthless, then you are giving him more years of your life. Even though he's not around. Don't do it. You've given this guy enough. Do you want to look back years from now and regret wasting so much time feeling bad over a nobody? Chalk it up to a learning experience and find someone who makes you feel loved.
Shaun-Dro Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 You're not a loser, not at all, you're just a typical woman. By that I mean that you were hoping to change the "bad boy" into your own "good boy". You cannot change those type of men. A common mistake, just grow up from this. I agree with this 100%! They're all this way until they hit 40! Too late by that time!
Shaun-Dro Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 I'm talking about the women are all this way until they're middle-aged, and only then do they wake up, after getting hit with 5 kids!
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