Argentea Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 I have been having an affair with a married work colleague for the past five months. It started with the flirtations and i liked him. Fell into the affair big time - more on my side than i think his. We would see each other regularly but the last couple of months he has been suspended- nothing to do with the affair and now he has lost his job. It has been very difficult to see him. We would text and phone each other but now contact has almost diminished.The surprising thing is that he wants me to get a job at the same company his wife works for and i don't understand why. I find it hard to understand anything at the moment.Contact then no contact and now this. Please help me to understand what it means.
Rooke Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 I have been having an affair with a married work colleague for the past five months. It started with the flirtations and i liked him. Fell into the affair big time - more on my side than i think his. We would see each other regularly but the last couple of months he has been suspended- nothing to do with the affair and now he has lost his job. It has been very difficult to see him. We would text and phone each other but now contact has almost diminished.The surprising thing is that he wants me to get a job at the same company his wife works for and i don't understand why. I find it hard to understand anything at the moment.Contact then no contact and now this. Please help me to understand what it means. He wants you to do WHAT?! Get a job where his wife works?? Have you asked him why?? Most MM go out of their way to keep BS and OW apart. The web of lies my xMM used to ensure I never got anywhere near her well, you couldn't make that stuff up. He either has a hidden agenda or he trusts you implicity that you would never tell her, but this is unlikely, they usually don't take any sort of risk, even if it isn't a risk. He's up to something really seriously wrong. This is a perfect opportunity to walk away from him. He dropped you and left you hanging? Don't allow him to waltz back into your life just because he's decided he can be bothered.
Author Argentea Posted April 25, 2011 Author Posted April 25, 2011 Thank you for your reply. I live in quite a small town and i do know his wife and in turn she knows my partner.My mm spoke to my partner about the job and he came home and told me about it and what a good idea it was. Being in a small town doesn't make it easy to have an affair. I believed in my heart that the affair was over just by his lack of communication and i have refrained from texting him. There has been no thing from him to suggest he has gone NC so i just took it as read. Been going through quite an emotional time. Anyone would feel better at least to say that its ended but just to have nothing is hard. I am supposed to pick up the application form tomorrow as the interviews are this week. I feel i cannot stay in my present job as there are too many memories. I have'nt spoken to him to ask why he wants me to work at his wife's work. The job would mean that we would'nt see each other as we visit clients homes and is not an office job. I think there is a hidden agenda but i don't know what.I have been NC for a few days now. I feel i have got myself in a terrible mess.
alexandria35 Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 Sometimes guys say things without thinking about what they are saying. Since he was chatting with your partner and not you, it's hard to know how the conversation went. Perhaps your partner mentioned something about you not making enough money or not being happy at your current position and your MM said something like 'oh they're hiring where my wife works, tell her to apply there' . This hardly means that he wants you to work where his wife works. I mean I doubt that he told your partner that he really really wants you to work there right? I'd say it didn't mean anything, just pointless chit chat.
Carrot2000 Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 I am supposed to pick up the application form tomorrow as the interviews are this week. I feel i cannot stay in my present job as there are too many memories. I have'nt spoken to him to ask why he wants me to work at his wife's work. The job would mean that we would'nt see each other as we visit clients homes and is not an office job. I think there is a hidden agenda but i don't know what.I have been NC for a few days now. I feel i have got myself in a terrible mess. Are you seriously going to apply for the job because he told you to? You do have a choice in the matter, you know. Stay at your current job and deal with the memories until they fade. You'll be making a bigger mess of things if you work with MMs wife. Oh, and you also have the power to end the affair. You don't have to wait for him to say it's over for it to be over.
fooled once Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 Thank you for your reply. I live in quite a small town and i do know his wife and in turn she knows my partner.My mm spoke to my partner about the job and he came home and told me about it and what a good idea it was. Being in a small town doesn't make it easy to have an affair. I believed in my heart that the affair was over just by his lack of communication and i have refrained from texting him. There has been no thing from him to suggest he has gone NC so i just took it as read. Been going through quite an emotional time. Anyone would feel better at least to say that its ended but just to have nothing is hard. I am supposed to pick up the application form tomorrow as the interviews are this week. I feel i cannot stay in my present job as there are too many memories. I have'nt spoken to him to ask why he wants me to work at his wife's work. The job would mean that we would'nt see each other as we visit clients homes and is not an office job. I think there is a hidden agenda but i don't know what.I have been NC for a few days now. I feel i have got myself in a terrible mess. Are you serious? You are going to go apply to work at the same place his wife works? And when she finds out about your affair, you will be out of a job, out of a 'partner', possibly need a new place to live if he kicks you out and your entire small town knowing of the affair and you have a black mark against you for when you try to find another job. Easy enough to get out of the mess....don't contact him anymore and don't answer any calls/texts from him. Get yourself together and either be with JUST your partner or at least have the decency to tell your partner that you are having an affair. What did he do to deserve this kind of disrespect?
Gentlegirl Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 Hi, Perhaps the MM is a bit quirky. Perhaps he would get a strange thrill out of having both women work together? There's no accounting for them you know. Why are you still thinking of carrying on the affair with him? If he had wanted to , then he would have found a way to contact you. He hasn't so there is nothing understood, except he can't be bothered. Leave it alone, the memories will fade unless you choose to keep them alive. Iamgine how it would be to work with his wife each day! Good Luck, Gentlegirl
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