hello26 Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 I started seeing someone a year ago now, after ending a previous long-term relationship. After 2 months or so, the new boyfriend had commitment doubts and we split up for 6 months or so. Now we have been back together since February. Last October a former colleague of his offered her apartment to me. I assumed that she was ceding the lease. At the last minute I came to understand that this person needed someone to look after her things while she was travelling. She didn't know if she intended to come back though, and when I said that I was uncomfortable with the situation, she said she couldn't deal with it because she just had an abortion. She left and I had no paperwork for the place. I resigned myself to this, but then she arrived back from her travels 5 months later and informed me that she wasn't coming back to the apartment, so she was going to cede the lease. Then I started getting emails from her about indefinitely looking after her things.. she didn't have the capacity to move out. Meanwhile my things are in storage. I gave up and signed a lease somewhere else, but this new place will only be available in the summer. Meanwhile the landlords to the place where I'm staying have noticed that the person on their lease seems to have disappeared, they aren't happy and they keep asking me what's going on, how to get in touch with their tenant etc. It turns out that this former colleague of my boyfriend has moved into my boyfriend's grandparents house with her boyfriend. They are looking after the place rent free. After a month and a half of messing around, she has moved (most) of her things from the apartment (after refusing to sell them to me) but still no paperwork. Meanwhile, I'm really angry at her and now I'm excluded from my boyfriend's family's Easter festivities because I don't even know how, but she will be there and I can't bring myself to face her without losing my temper. I feel that my boyfriend doesn't understand my frustrations, and he's resentful towards me that I'm feeling angry. I also feel that both my boyfriend and this other girl get along really well because they are both well off and spoiled. This girl moved to my boyfriend's parent's beautiful home to live there indefinitely, on welfare with her boyfriend. Her parents bought her a car to support this ambition. Meanwhile I've been financially independent since 18 and I help pay my parents' bills. I'm being told that I'm jealous. I don't even want to see my boyfriend when he gets back from Easter with his family and this other person. How bad is this? Should I try to get ahold of my temper and work this out or is this relationship bad news?
stace79 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I'm not entirely sure I followed the whole story, but if your boyfriend is taking another woman's side instead of yours (his girlfriend), then I'd say that's a huge red flag. In a serious relationship, you should always have your SO's back first. Even if you were being unreasonable, he should talk to you about it, NOT tell you you're just jealous and go off with this other woman for a holiday!
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