kimmy1 Posted April 8, 2004 Posted April 8, 2004 HE GOT MARRIED TO HIS GIRLFRIEND 5 YEARS AGO BECUASE SHE GOT PREGNANT when they were both AT THE AGE OF 19 AND WAS GOING TO BE KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL IF THE SCHOOL KNEW SHE WAS NOT MARRIED AND PREGNANT. No one knew about their marriage except her sister until years after. He still lived with his mother during the time, he told her years after and they didnt even excahnge wedding bands. I was shocked when I found out. My dilema is that he and his mother werent getting along and he went to live with his wife. He wasn't working at one point cause he lost his job. He says that he will eventually move out, but I am very uncomfortable knowing his lives with another woman and his mother doesn't know about me because she would be upset that he has a wife and a girlfriend (she wants them to be together). Its strange thought, becuase of all the guys I have been with, he made me the happiest. (without the wife situation, it would have been perfect) I broke up with him last week, because i don't want to be the other woman. Did I do the right thing and what's your opinion.
Arabess Posted April 8, 2004 Posted April 8, 2004 If his Mom KNEW the reasons behind him marrying this girl, why would she expect him to 'keep the rules of a husband' if they weren't even living as husband and wife? Why would him having a girlfriend not be acceptable? And if he got married only to help her work out the school situation while pregnant, why was it a secret? It would seem to me if he only married her so she could save face at school....then keeping it a secret wouldn't line up with the reason why he married her in the first place. He may be between a rock and a hard place regarding this whole mess...BUT...something doesn't ring true. It doesn't make sense. If he's kept his relationship with you a secret from his family and the pregnant girl he had to marry...then you've been the 'other woman' the whole time anyway. You've now broken it off and in so many words.... given him an ultimatum. I wouldn't return to the relationship unless I was no longer a secret to ANYONE. You DID make the right choice. Living with that choice will be very hard though. If you don't stand firm on this choice though.....it only has the capacity of hurting you worse than it already is. Plus, if I were you....I'd give this situation a good hard look. Nothing in his story to you is lining up.
Recommended Posts