Can a long distance relationship withstand so many obstacles??

[Miss_G]

I split with my ex-partner 8 months ago now. It cut me up really badly and I struggled to cope at first. I spent the first few months in denial that we could work things out and spent most of my time on here heartbroken.

I do not fall in love easy (I'm ridiculously picky!!) and my last relationship was long and intense. We had a beautiful baby together (who is nearly 2) and had just bought a house and were discussing marriage. It all fell apart in a matter of weeks.

It left me badly scarred and scared to enter another relationship. I never thought I would find anybody again. The last month or so I have been an awful lot stronger. I've been happy, have not had that 'sinking' feeling and was finally genuinely moving on rather than forcing myself or pretending.

I wasn't expecting to meet anybody and, because I'm so picky, have not kissed or even give my number to any boy.

However, I recently met up with a boy at a party I've known for a year or so but have only met a handful of times. We got on brilliantly and I've found myself quite fancying him. We began texting each other and are still in the 'getting to know' stage. He is aware of my child and isn't bothered at all.

There are some problems though.

1. He lives 4 hours away on the other side of the country. With my child, I can't 'up and leave' when I want and therefore the majority of the travelling will be down to him.

2. He is 2 years younger than me (I am 24 and he is 22). I worry that he will be unable to cope with the pressures of being with someone who has a child.

3. He recently (6 weeks ago) came out of a long relationship and was apparently shattered by it. I fear he's on the 'rebound'.

4. I am TERRIFIED of being hurt again. I don't want to have to go through the pain I went through with the last one!

5. He is in the army, so not only does he live MILES away but he's also going to BE away!

 

It is only early days but can it ever work?? Can something survive obstacles? I'm scared to get too close but this is the first guy I quite like. And to make matters worse, I think my ex is 'mellowing' towards me again!!

[idontunderstand]

It can work if you guys are both mature and your feelings for each other are genuine. True love can overcome all obstacles. However, just like any other relationship, there will be times when you are super sad and other times when tings are just amazing.

 

I know you were scarred by your previous relationship, but you have to decide whether this guy is well worth the risk. You don't want any previous relationship to eliminate the opportunity for future relationships.

 

And about your ex, you need to decide on your own how you feel about him and choose one person, if either at all.

[heartshaped]

He is most likely on the rebound if he just got out of a long term relationship six weeks and was 'shattered by it'. It takes people much longer as you yourself would know to get over a serious relationship. I don't see any reason to stop talking to this guy if you fancy him though. Just remain cautious and keep your head and wits about you. As much as everyone would love to protect themselves from being hurt, it's impossible.

 

As for your ex, you have to decide whether or not you would like to revisit that relationship.

[Miss_G]

Well, I can safely say it cannot within such obstacles. New bloke was all for coming to visit me, organising the weekend, etc. And then, without warning, he just stopped contacting. I know he is busy at work but to just stop calling or messaging??

Instinct tells me he is probably back with the ex-girlfriend.

I feel a bit stupid for ever thinking it could amount to anything. Now I just feel low