brightskies Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 (edited) Add me to the list of the heartbroken ... We were together over 3.5 years, this was our 2nd chance. Broke up with him end of Jan. and moved out in early March with full intent to go NC. Two days after I moved out he sent a text to say that if I ever need him to help take care of my pup he'd be happy to come over. I stupidly replied. Thought maybe we could pull off the "friends" thing but realized what a *dumb* idea it was, then back to NC. The time I broke NC on my end was when I got sick. He came over as soon as he got off work that night. He even gave me a much needed massage for a migraine and brought chicken soup. Next day when I felt better I called to thank him but we ended up arguing. After that I decided that even if I were on my deathbed I wouldn't ever contact him again. Bit the bullet and blocked his number, filtered his emails, etc. Ten days pass and just when I thought I was starting to cruise into neutral, he dropped off some mail today (didn't see him). Just the envelope with his handwriting made me cry. Been keeping busy and filling my days like a maniac but moving-on and letting go still seems to be dragging. Am I crazy to still think that I want him back? Seriously, I'll be first in line when someone actually makes that ex-erasing system in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." I just want the pain to stop. Edited April 25, 2011 by brightskies
Sassygirl2 Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 (edited) Here's a {{:)hug:)}} for you. It will get better. You know it, but you just don't want to bear the pain. You are going to make it. It sounds like you and your BF are just not right for each other at this time. Too much has happened to go back. Maybe in the future when you both have grown a bit, you can see what happens. I'm in the same boat, believe me. Stay busy, read the great posts on here and stay focused on working on yourself!! Edited April 25, 2011 by Sassygirl2
threebyfate Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 ((hugs)) brightskies. Don't know if you remember my old username Trialbyfire but I remember you back when you were trying for a second chance. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. Until someone wants to change, there's nothing you can do to help them change.
Thatguyintx Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 Am I crazy to still think that I want him back? Seriously, I'll be first in line when someone actually makes that ex-erasing system in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." I just want the pain to stop. Crazy? Most likely yes. We all are when it comes to love. It causes us to really think differently! But, I can understand where you are coming from. You need to honestly think about the likelihood of this relationship ever working out. Anytime you start pining, remind yourself of the reasons it won't work. This helped me get through the really tough times. As for the ex-erasing system, I really wish there were such a thing. Some people think there is. They use alcohol, drugs, another relationship, or work to help "forget" the broken relationship. Unfortunately, it catches up with them eventually. I know. I used many of the above to "forget" my divorce several years ago. Just ended up being one more bag in the pile of baggage to deal with after my last failed relationship. Allow yourself time and space to get through this. You shall overcome!
Fufu Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 Big hugs to you Cry as much as you can for now, after that stand up and encourage yourself to move on.
nlpman Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 There is a system like spotless mind!! Its called timeline therapy and can be used to remove the pain from memories. It normally takes around 1 hour to complete, make sure you use a recognised qualified practitioner. Ive used it and it works a treat! Good Luck
cerridwen Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 ((Big hug)) Here. I saved you a chocolate Easter bunny.
Author brightskies Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 Hi Sassy, Thank you. And thank you for not throwing the usual "oh, he's a d*ck, forget him," in my face. That statement may or may not be true (haha, kidding!) but you know how hard it can be to chuck 3.5 years of sharing your life with someone, however flawed, right? It wasn't all bad. He's a good man. Maybe just not for me. Here's a {{:)hug:)}} for you. It will get better. You know it, but you just don't want to bear the pain. You are going to make it. It sounds like you and your BF are just not right for each other at this time. Too much has happened to go back. Maybe in the future when you both have grown a bit, you can see what happens. I'm in the same boat, believe me. Stay busy, read the great posts on here and stay focused on working on yourself!!
Leda Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 I don't have good advice...but hugs? That I can do!!! (((hugs))) and I wish you total happiness asap.
Author brightskies Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 TBF!!! Of course I remember you! How the heck are you? Hugs! Where've you been hiding? Actually, it's me that's been awol, hah. For the 2nd go around what convinced me to take him back were his promises of change. So he did, but it didn't last. He said, and I believed him, "I'll do anything to make it work." Guess who kept trying to the bitter end? Not he who promised. You're right. I know you're right. You always did give astute, sometimes tough to swallow, but nonetheless astute (!) insight and advice. I'm glad to run into you again. ((hugs)) brightskies. Don't know if you remember my old username Trialbyfire but I remember you back when you were trying for a second chance. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. Until someone wants to change, there's nothing you can do to help them change.
Author brightskies Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 That guy, Thank you. Isn't it wild how one day you think , "What the hell did I see in him/her," and the next minute you're selling your first born to get your ex back? Drugs and alcohol are super tempting ... but I want to be sober when the man of my dreams shows up on my doorstep! Ah, never mind love, give me equilibrium. Really though, I'm thinking I'll just be a casual serial monogamist. A nice string of spicy but uncomplicated liaisons with like-minded partners until I croak would be fine. Crazy? Most likely yes. We all are when it comes to love. It causes us to really think differently! But, I can understand where you are coming from. You need to honestly think about the likelihood of this relationship ever working out. Anytime you start pining, remind yourself of the reasons it won't work. This helped me get through the really tough times. As for the ex-erasing system, I really wish there were such a thing. Some people think there is. They use alcohol, drugs, another relationship, or work to help "forget" the broken relationship. Unfortunately, it catches up with them eventually. I know. I used many of the above to "forget" my divorce several years ago. Just ended up being one more bag in the pile of baggage to deal with after my last failed relationship. Allow yourself time and space to get through this. You shall overcome!
Author brightskies Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 Fufu, Don't you wish there were a market for heartbreak and tears? We'd all be filthy rich now, right?! You have no idea how your kind words help me. Thank you! Big hugs to you Cry as much as you can for now, after that stand up and encourage yourself to move on.
Author brightskies Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 Yessy, Thank you, you're a sweetheart! I really do appreciate your support. {HUG} we are here for u!
Author brightskies Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 Leda, Hugs and happiness are very welcome here, thanks so much! And this is totally off-topic, but your name just reminded me of the myth of Leda and the swan ... is that why you picked your name? I don't have good advice...but hugs? That I can do!!! (((hugs))) and I wish you total happiness asap.
Author brightskies Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 NLP, Thanks for the suggestion! Does it have to be done in person? Can you recommend someone? I'm interested! There is a system like spotless mind!! Its called timeline therapy and can be used to remove the pain from memories. It normally takes around 1 hour to complete, make sure you use a recognised qualified practitioner. Ive used it and it works a treat! Good Luck
Author brightskies Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 Cerridwen, Thank you! Hugs and choco easter bunnys always cheer me up! ((Big hug)) Here. I saved you a chocolate Easter bunny.
Fufu Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Fufu, Don't you wish there were a market for heartbreak and tears? We'd all be filthy rich now, right?! You have no idea how your kind words help me. Thank you! Good business idea You are most welcome.
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