Hp1991 Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 As I posted earlier I have several issues going on and can't get an answer out of me.. I actually feel disgusted and sick . I don't know how else to describe it. I'm a petite girl just under 5 foot and I don't weigh much more than 100. From looking at me I get many comments as I'm so very skinny etc but in reality that isn't the truth . I'm not exaggerating but I have a stomach and it's not a simple flab I have excess fat , love handles , the whole stomach is rolls ( not trying to be graphic )..and to some it may sound like I'm full of it but I have low esteem . I don't think much for my looks and my shape isn't much either but I just recently started a relationship and we have sex . He's my first and since I have low esteem this has always been in the back of my mind but not really present most of the time. I just recently found out that I don't really turn him on. This has become abit of a recent topic on my mind every night , I think of this and how I look and feel very low and disgusted with myself. I've never ever in my life been disgusted with my body and this is all very new to me . I have felt ugly and hopeless but never my body . I didn't care how my body looked like . IT was something that was mine and one would come to accept it ...but now I feel like I need to be better looking . It's not like my partner ever asked me to and he's treated me like a princess therefore it's all me wanting to look better. But because of this I've been thinking about our past moments together and don't feel to good about myself...this leads me to not want to continue any sort of sex with him. Once I even think about it I'll see how I hate the way my body looks and how I don't turn him on. It makes me sick . Honestly it makes me gag . I don't know how to overcome this .. I haven't seen him in awhile and I won't know how to battle this on my own . How do I get over it or help myself get over this?
welikeincrowds Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 (edited) Hey, we're here to help you, okay? It sounds like you suffered a bit of a trauma when this guy told you you don't make him horny. I have some thoughts for you. The first thought is that this guy doesn't get to appraise your worth as a human being. He doesn't get to say if you're sexy or not, or good enough or not. No one does but you -- and what you decide affects your life, for better or for worse, as you are now experiencing firsthand. The second thought is that you're very emotionally invested in this relationship, however serious or casual it technically is right now, and it's causing you to experience some seriously heavy, seriously negative feelings. On this merit alone -- from seeing only two posts from you -- I would suggest that you end things with him. You don't want to be pushed and pulled so deeply like this. You want control of your self-love and identity. My advice would be to just get out from under him, and give yourself some room to breathe and to think. The third thought is that you're 19 years old and you are learning a lot about yourself and the world right now. Being unsure about almost everything is pretty much normal. And it's okay to feel these feelings, there's nothing wrong with you for feeling them. You're feeling them for good and surely understandable reasons, so for your own sake, your process for becoming happy will be to address and cope with the causes. The fourth thought is that I saw a therapist at 19, and I would highly recommend it. Just like it is very reassuring to have someone who is focused and dedicated to your physical health, it is very reassuring to have someone who is focused and dedicated to your mental health, amazing really. It's hard to imagine if you've never have a therapist before. It seems like having someone dedicated would be very helpful for you. Edited April 25, 2011 by welikeincrowds
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