live4moment Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 Hi everyone. So I'm strugglng here a little. I think I'm still in shock. But I would really aprreciate some advice. Been reading the forum and it has helped me a lot. Now what happened today. I've been in no contact with my ex BF except for texts strictly about me 3 year old. My ex had told me he had wanted to get back together, but the issues He had started taking oxycontin when I was pregnant. I didn't really figure it out until after our son was born. He said that I had been right all along and he started rehab last summer. I didn't get past it until last Dec. When I thought I could forgive him and hopefully start fresh with him. Well I made Valentines breakfast we talked like old friends a lot. Then my bday came I could tell something had changed. I asked him a week later and he said he was dating someone. I called told him how I felt that I always loved him. He said he had a lot to think about. I started NC in March. OK here goes. The first time I was going to see him and guess what he brought his GF.I held it together. I was dieing inside. Why. He didn't give me a warning at all. Didn't say anything. Thats where I am in shock. Why would he do this. I keep telling myself he doesn't care. I feel like that was obvious. I want to believe he was trying to get a rise out of me. I want to believe this doesn't mean anything. I defininetly want to believe we could still be a family. So my questions. I feel so stupid. But you know how it is. Your blind want to beliee averything will be ok. Can someone move on like this and not care about getting back together. Are we never getting back together now. Does he even think about it. Thank you in advance LS, I really do need you.
Author live4moment Posted April 25, 2011 Author Posted April 25, 2011 So nowI'm thinking this really shows some lousy character so why would i want him back. He had to know that would hurt. I feel so weak that I even thought about us again. So now I really just want to make sure my son is not hurt by all this. I know i can do this thru NC but I really want to tell him how I feel. That I think hes a jerk and this is his fault. And I hate the fact that now they r playing house with our son and her 2 kids..
Yasuandio Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 You said it, "He knew it would hurt." For some reason he wants to stick the knife in you and twist it. Do you know why? Don't fall for that again. Act AS IF it didn't phase you. If he wants kids, he picks up, and drops off. GD can wait in car. If she doesn't act AS IF you are unphased. 180 and no contact, except about children. Make it by text. Don't even give him the luxury of hearing yr voice. Start dating, like now. Learn everything you can about Homer McDonald's system. Look up Son of Homer on LS and see the advice he gave out. Search the net for the free articles on this author. His ebook is expensive, but you can get the idea if you seach out these resources. Go to divorce busters website. Do not call beg or plead. Do the 180 now.
Author live4moment Posted April 25, 2011 Author Posted April 25, 2011 Thanks for advice. I don't know why he would wwant to hurt me more. I think he felt hurt for a while. But most of it was his own life choices. Its like he doesn't see any reason that he has played in all this. He had pain in his back, started taking pain meds and got hooked on oxy. He started staying out all night and pushed me away saying I was the problem. Then he started rehab last summer. And he told me he was sorry that i was the one he has hurt the most and I was never the problem he was. All this time we have been apart I have been focusing on buying a house that maybe one day we could share. I'm sure I could have told him how much I loved and missed him earlier but I didn't. I did'nt live in the moment kept looking to the future. Meanwhile he moved on. And he just wants to be "happy". When he pulled up thank goodness I had my cousinns with me I was totally acting cool and collected. He was a little shaky but distant. I introduced my something to his girlfriend and told them all to have a fun day. I should have won an Oscar. I know NC and 180 so I can heal. I'll check out the links you suggested. Thank you. You know i want my family but I will be strong.
Author live4moment Posted April 25, 2011 Author Posted April 25, 2011 You know sometimes I really get tired of being selfless. I want to be the strong one that can just walk away.
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