youngskywalker Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 As I search the internet it seems there is a widely held belief that most women won't or don't orgasm through vaginal intercourse. No problem, you just go the other route with the typical sexual massage or oral. My dilemma is my g/f doesn't like me touching her vaginal area and oral is out of the question. Strait sex is all I get. It's frustrating that she doesn't allow me use the necessary tools to give her the big O. The few times she did allow me to touch her she wasn't that into it. According to her, she never goes "solo". Which tells me she isn't familiar with her sexual responses yet. I suspect this is just a matter of communication, trust, and patience. Any suggestions?
daphne Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 She's a prude. And she's probably lying. I don't mean to burst your bubble, but young girls raised with certain values deny they even have sexuality. Such a seriously silly thing really. You are between a rock and a hard place. Most women don't achieve orgasm through penetration alone. And she won't let you give her oral or touch her. Hmm. Perhaps you can try positive mental thinking. I'm kidding. Ultimately, if you're trying to help her out and she's shutting you down everywhere, she has only herself to blame for not having an orgasm. You're trying. Until she lets go of this antiquated notion that sex is bad, she's not going to learn of the benefits of good sex.
Professor X Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 She's a prude. And she's probably lying. I don't mean to burst your bubble, but young girls raised with certain values deny they even have sexuality. Such a seriously silly thing really. You are between a rock and a hard place. Most women don't achieve orgasm through penetration alone. And she won't let you give her oral or touch her. Hmm. Perhaps you can try positive mental thinking. I'm kidding. Ultimately, if you're trying to help her out and she's shutting you down everywhere, she has only herself to blame for not having an orgasm. You're trying. Until she lets go of this antiquated notion that sex is bad, she's not going to learn of the benefits of good sex. True. In addition, perhaps try longer foreplays? Erotic massage with nice scented oils can do wonders really. Like Daphne said, she's in this place in her mind where she can't really be loose. So try and loosen her up.
fishtaco Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 Daphne is right. She's a prude. I've been with women like that before. The most recent experience, she's religious girl and thinks sexual acts like that are dirty. She never touches herself. And never says any bad words. That type. Same thing, she enjoys sex, but cannot reach orgasm via vaginal intercourse. In fact, she has never had an orgasm, ever. I offered to use alternate methods, just like your suggestion, she wasn't into it. I think even if I made her let me do it, she'll be so uncomfortable that she won't be able to reach orgasm anyway. Also, no foreplay. Her foreplay is kissing. So it was kind of... well, she's a nice girl. And she's into the sex and she enjoys it, which is great, but, it's just not as fun as some other women. I think, once someone (or herself) gives her that first orgasm, she'll change her mind and relax more. But her mental block is going to be difficult to overcome. She has been taught by religion that sex is a bad thing since childhood. I don't have the know-how to change that.
Feelin Frisky Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 Technically, you can't "give her" an orgasm. It doesn't work that way. The orgasm is for her to "take". And your particular female doesn't seem to value that experience. Perhaps her upbringing has put the zap on her head and is part of why she is not orgasmic, but the bottom line is she is not sexually oriented. She's repressed and you can't undo that in any short order if at all. I suggest finding someone who wants to involve you in her orgasmic pleasures.
daphne Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 Fish, I don't know that I buy that either one of your girls have never had an orgasm. Little girls start out way earlier than boys. But "nice" girls will sometimes lie about it. I speak from experience. As a recovering prude.
MissJoness Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 daphne you have no right to speak for everybody or accuse others of lying. and why does not being into oral sex equate to being a prude?
MissJoness Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 Miss- How about you go flame somewhere else? Flame? I'm asking a serious question
daphne Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 No. Actually, you're asking a silly and inflammatory question, devoid of anything but the intent to argue. So again, go argue with someone else.
MissJoness Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 No. Actually, you're asking a silly and inflammatory question, devoid of anything but the intent to argue. So again, go argue with someone else. You're being argumentative with this statement right here. I was being serious and asked a genuine question about why a person is considered a prude if they are not into oral sex? How hard is that to answer? You're making things difficult
ASG Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 No. Actually, you're asking a silly and inflammatory question, devoid of anything but the intent to argue. So again, go argue with someone else. I don't usually share MissJoness' opinions, but I don't think she was trolling this time. Also, I was raised religious, with a bit of sex is wrong kind of thing and although I wouldn't say I'm a prude, I had some sexual hang ups and I also didn't experience an orgasm until I was in my mid 20's, when I actually went out and bought a vibrator. Nothing else works for me. I've tried hands, oral, you name it. And it just doesn't get me there. I have to say though, I was quite happy qith my sex life, for the most part (there's always a few duds, here and there). I enjoy sex imensely and didn't miss what I didn't know. Even now, I don't care that much that I reach it (as opposed to my ex, who got incredibly frustrated for not managing to make me have an orgasm), as long as he's trying To the OP... You need to be patient with her, but also try to "push" for oral and some touching. Make it romantic, about caressing and/or kissing all of her, make her relax and good luck! But don't feel frustrated if you don't succed at first! Just keep trying!
Author youngskywalker Posted April 25, 2011 Author Posted April 25, 2011 Thanks for the responses. They were spot on to what I think was going to be said, reassuring me that I'm on the right path. I've been working with this girl to open up a little and she has been I've slowly brought her to the point where she will let me begin to touch her. Good news, tonight we had an all out foreplay session. She was really turned on but no "O". Everything was perfect and wonderful but all she wanted was sex and said there was no way she could ever cum unless we have sex...... which I think is total B.S. Basically, after about an hour she kicked me out of her house because she wanted me sooooooooooooo bad and couldn't have me. She couldn't take it anymore and was begging me to have sex with her but I wouldn't. I didn't bring condoms with me (calculated on my part... I know I'm so bad lol). But I got what I wanted. I got to explore things with her and leave her wanting more. So is she a prude? In some ways yes but in other ways no. She talks dirty, gets a little kinky but needs to be open to exploring her sexual function IMO. Progress in greatly being made. I'll just keep doing what I'm doing.... taking it slow.
Enchanted Girl Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 I agree with Miss Jones for once as well. Because every woman is DIFFERENT and there's a lot of assumptions Daphne is making here. I don't like fingering for instance. I can't orgasm off of it. It hurts really badly, whether I am putting my own finger in or someone else is using there's. I am quite sensitive down there and fingers are just too rough for me. All I feel is horrific pain that does the opposite of making me aroused. To finger me would be the equivalent of kicking a man in the balls and then because he doesn't get aroused, being mad. It hurts, that's why he's not aroused. Same goes for me and vibrators. It's just too much stimulation and it hurts and it feels bad. I do love oral sex and penetrative sex though. And I orgasm off of them. In fact, my boyfriend gets very proud when he makes me cum through penetrative sex and it drips down my thigh a bit afterwards. And I love it, too. So every girl is different. Those beginning statements you said don't all apply to me. I orgasm off of penetrative sex and I don't orgasm off of fingering. And let me put it this way . . . . all men have prostates which are located in their asses. All men will feel pleasure from having their prostates stimulated, but that doesn't mean all men are okay with someone sticking something up their butt in order to stimulate the prostate. And that doesn't make them a prude. Even though the men who have let me do it have enjoyed it so much that they usually can't hold their orgasm in for longer than twenty seconds afterwards (and tell me those orgasms are much better than the other ones.) It doesn't mean I should force all men I am with to do those things. Although I understand you wanting to help her achieve orgasm. Just try not to push her out of her comfort zone. That's counterproductive.
Author youngskywalker Posted April 25, 2011 Author Posted April 25, 2011 Although I understand you wanting to help her achieve orgasm. Just try not to push her out of her comfort zone. That's counterproductive. Well that does help a lot. If she is just a little different from the rest of the crowd then I can accept that. I just need to know she is getting the most satisfaction she can possibly get from me. I'm going to keep up with the understanding and communication.
bac Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 Fish, I don't know that I buy that either one of your girls have never had an orgasm. Little girls start out way earlier than boys. But "nice" girls will sometimes lie about it. I speak from experience. As a recovering prude. If you are a girl, you are in the minority. You might have the sex drive which is equal to males' sex drive. Congrats on that, but other females do not have what you have at least in 20s.
bac Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 Thanks for the responses. They were spot on to what I think was going to be said, reassuring me that I'm on the right path. I've been working with this girl to open up a little and she has been I've slowly brought her to the point where she will let me begin to touch her. Good news, tonight we had an all out foreplay session. She was really turned on but no "O". Everything was perfect and wonderful but all she wanted was sex and said there was no way she could ever cum unless we have sex...... which I think is total B.S. Basically, after about an hour she kicked me out of her house because she wanted me sooooooooooooo bad and couldn't have me. She couldn't take it anymore and was begging me to have sex with her but I wouldn't. I didn't bring condoms with me (calculated on my part... I know I'm so bad lol). But I got what I wanted. I got to explore things with her and leave her wanting more. So is she a prude? In some ways yes but in other ways no. She talks dirty, gets a little kinky but needs to be open to exploring her sexual function IMO. Progress in greatly being made. I'll just keep doing what I'm doing.... taking it slow. IMO it was a great idea. I would advice doing the foreplay/making out for 4-5 hrs without any intercourse during the first 6-7 times. This way, she would try to explore her own sexual potential when she is alone. Perhaps, she might discover how to orgasm.
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