persevere Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 With online dating, it seems many people go quiet once you reach the point of asking for a phone number or a date. You make it through all the stages, ie. eharmony, send a few messages back and forth and then all goes stale. What's up with that? Do many women just want to feel complete, or desired, by stirring interest then moving on? Has anybody else noticed this?
Lilmisus Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 Some just like to act polite by responding, or may just be bored while doing so, so are just trying to kill some time on there. Other times though, they might be talking to a few guys at once, and if one shows more interest and she's interested, she'll go for him. Soon as the other guy shows more interest, and she's not as interested in him, she'll just stop responding. What's the point in going for both at once when she only wants one of them? When I had an account for like, two days, there was one guy who just wouldn't stop messaging me, even if I didn't respond. Three messages in one day, just asking me how I was doing, when I was at work and couldn't respond back to him. I only responded just to be polite since he seemed like a nice enough guy, he just didn't float my boat.
irc333 Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 I actually had a female friend that just threw up her arms and quit online dating because some guy pulled some crap on her. While she was having her nails done, he texted her like 2 hrs before the date daying , "Something came up" And she got ticked and txted him back, "NO, you MAKE a date, you KEEP it" Of course, it was rhetorical statement, she didn't expect him to keep the date." SHe gets home, and sees him signed into the dating site ON the night they were suppose to go out, she was insulted. I sometimes find out, there's a lot of people that are "on the outs" with a current boyfriend, like some guy they've been with for years, but they get into a tiff and they're on a "break" and she runs online to put up a profile to make her feel better. Of course she gets emails from guys, but never actually goes out with them, until she "kiss and makes up" with her current boyfriend. Some, true, just like the thrill of the chase. It appears, people have a tendency to keep it behind the monitor than actually meeting face-to-face. With online dating, it seems many people go quiet once you reach the point of asking for a phone number or a date. You make it through all the stages, ie. eharmony, send a few messages back and forth and then all goes stale. What's up with that? Do many women just want to feel complete, or desired, by stirring interest then moving on? Has anybody else noticed this?
daphne Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 I've done it (lost interest in the course of correspondance) and have had it done to me as well. I don't have a lot of time to date, so I tried to limit it to smaller numbers with people who had a better potential for being compatible with me. I would say there probably are quite a few people who don't know what they're looking for, and so they get caught up with the numbers instead of focusing on someone who maybe more compatible. That being said, I think more people wanted to meet than flaked out so I think more people did actually want to find someone. Or at least, as Cee says it, wanted sex yadda yadda.
zengirl Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 Sometimes it's a timing thing. I met a guy on OKC around the same time I met the guy I'm currently dating, and I was WAY more interested in Other Guy by his profile than in Many Dates Guy, who I've been dating for a couple weeks now. However, Other Guy took too long to ask me out, so by the time he did, I had to say no, sorry, was already sort of starting to see someone and don't have time to date around. Sometimes it's the polite thing. A guy asks a question, so I write him back, knowing I'd never date him. Now, I don't do this. Now, I just sort of write, maybe answering the question, and adding that I've looked at their profile and I'm not interested at the end. But it IS really awkward to do so. Sometimes it's the not-ready-to-meet thing and people get nervous. Some people just crave attention. Some people aren't over someone else. Sometimes, it's that they thought they'd get more interested as they wrote, but they actually became less interested.
TheLoneSock Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 I would think that getting the phone number would be just the beginning, not the end. Don't consider anything a starting point until you have exchanged information and are talking on a regular basis. Anything up till that point is nothing but chit chat with a stranger, similar to being at a grocery store or in line at the bank.
alexlakeman Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 I get the phone #'s sometimes and never end up calling for whatever reason.. or call, chat, and it just doesn't turn into a date... examples? 1. The ghetto girl last week - OMG, her pics where HOT:love:, emails flowed, she had a decent office job.. we go on to talk and she is telling me her story about one of her recent travels, and it was just pure ghetto.. no call back form me. 2. One other woman, I asked her for her #, she agreed she would text it to me, asks me for my ethnic background, and never hear form her again.. Either she lost interest or didn't like my background. 3,4,5,6,.... I've gotten a few numbers, but never end up calling them, as I get on with other dates, times passes, then feel awkward calling them a week later..
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