guitarguy89 Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 The hope is what hurts, I wake up everyday hoping that today with be the day and it just never comes. Ive been in no contact for over a month with my ex of 3 years and I still have the hope that she will come back and thats whats stoping me from just moving on. I have a feeling that she is with someone else but i dont know for sure and I dont wanna know, it hurts that she has possibly already moved on so quick but thats life i guess and i'll have to deal with that. I just wanna reach the point that I dont care what she does anymore and can move on with my life and leave my old life behind. But i know i cant do that by hoping and praying everyday that she will come too her senses and just come back home, even though I dont think that will ever come and thats what i stoping me from feeling better and just getting on with my life.
silvermane187 Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 It takes a while to fully give up hope. For me it took about 5 months. Just keep NC and eventually it will click in your head that she isn't coming back.
smudge21 Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 There's no easy fix. I'm where you are - I know she won't come back, but I still hope she will. It's so annoying, but nothing I can do other then stay nc and let time be the healer. I know things will get better.
Author guitarguy89 Posted April 25, 2011 Author Posted April 25, 2011 The problem for me is I feel like the whole break up is my fault. I mean i never cheated or anything like that, I just know that i could have been nicer to her and everything and i feel like if i would have done that then she would still be with me =(( and now shes gone forever because im a idiot =(
Nick71 Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 We all listen and read others stories here, we can relate but then we each think we have a unique situation that gives us the edge over the others. But none of us have an edge, it really is so complicated and so simple at the same time. Right now they have the choice to be with us or not and they choose not. All we can do is heal ourselves, it is the best thing we can do for us. Maybe just maybe they'll come back and want us but at that point (if it ever occurs) it isn't that simple. We will have the power and the choice at that moment but after all that has happened so far do we really know what we would choose? I'm just trying to fix me, I believed if she came back she could do it in an instant but she would just distract me. Only I can fix me ... I hope I can
Lil1 Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 Hang in there you guys, you all sound like you know what you have to do (keep strict NC and work on being happy for yourself). Many of us here on LS are going through heartbreak in one form or another and we are relying on this forum for support, so apply this strategy to other areas of your lives. Don't be afraid to reach out to friends, colleagues, and especially family to get you through this difficult time. I try to take things one day at a time and while some days are harder than others (in terms of reminiscing and wishing for my ex to have some sort of epiphany and come back to me) the important thing is that with each passing day I hurt less. Live in the moment and have faith that you will love and be loved again!
GrayClouds Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 The hope is what hurts, I wake up everyday hoping that today with be the day and it just never comes. Ive been in no contact for over a month with my ex of 3 years and I still have the hope that she will come back and thats whats stoping me from just moving on. I have a feeling that she is with someone else but i dont know for sure and I dont wanna know, it hurts that she has possibly already moved on so quick but thats life i guess and i'll have to deal with that. I just wanna reach the point that I dont care what she does anymore and can move on with my life and leave my old life behind. But i know i cant do that by hoping and praying everyday that she will come too her senses and just come back home, even though I dont think that will ever come and thats what i stoping me from feeling better and just getting on with my life. It is not a matter of giving it up, just do not entertain it. Instead dwelling on it, force your thoughts to move to something more productive or enjoyable. This is why it is recommend to start new hobbies, go exercise, hang out with friends. It is hard but when your mind goes there tell yourself to stop and take it somewhere else.
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