Funf Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 Occasionally, over the past month or so, my boyfriend has mentioned in conversations that he feels that he is boring. He says that he believes that idea because he's been so busy with work and school and hasn't been able to hang out with me very often. Whenever he would say that, I'd tell him that I don't find him to be boring. Last week, we were joking around and I said something along the lines of how I don't know him or something like that. Later that day, he approached me with concern that I was being disappointed that I "didn't know him." I told him that I was just joking and that if I ever had a problem with him, I would tell him directly. Earlier this past week, he commented that he feels like he is "half-assing the relationship" because he's been so busy with school/work. Once again, I told him that I disagreed. He said that in past relationships he had more time to be more creative with activities, gifts, etc. I'm not sure why he's being very sensitive recently. I'm trying to figure out if I'm giving off vibes of being dissatisfied with him or the relationship, but I honestly can't pinpoint anything. Yes, he is really busy but I never complain nor argue about that. We usually see each other 1-2 times a week, and I'm perfectly okay with that. I'm beginning to wonder if he's just experiencing general guilt for being busy. But he was never like that before when he was busy in the past. My biggest fear is that he's using passive-aggressive tactics to try to push me away. Thoughts?
cleansingtides Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 Hard to tell from what you have described. On one side, sounds like a great guy who's just really concerned with making you happy. If that's the case then make a little extra effort to let him know that you appreciate all the time he spends with you and don't care that he's busy. On the other side, not to scare you at all, he could be setting it up for the the problem's not you it's me break up approach. From just reading the text I have no idea how strong the connection is between you two. However, the two options I've given you are polar opposites. Either he's concerned or he's deceiving. You know him way better than I. Make the choice between the two based on what you know. Hope that helps.
Author Funf Posted April 24, 2011 Author Posted April 24, 2011 Hard to tell from what you have described. On one side, sounds like a great guy who's just really concerned with making you happy. If that's the case then make a little extra effort to let him know that you appreciate all the time he spends with you and don't care that he's busy. On the other side, not to scare you at all, he could be setting it up for the the problem's not you it's me break up approach. From just reading the text I have no idea how strong the connection is between you two. However, the two options I've given you are polar opposites. Either he's concerned or he's deceiving. You know him way better than I. Make the choice between the two based on what you know. Hope that helps.I have this really bad feeling and fear that he's going to use the "it's not you, it's me" line. He prides himself about how honest and blunt he is, and I agree, he's a very straightforward guy. He told me in the past that he won't do any fading if he wanted to breakup with me and wouldn't be passive-aggressive. But I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be reading between the lines of what he's been saying the past few weeks. Just some more details... Since he's been so busy, I've been making an effort to cook him a huge meal and dessert at least once a week (with plenty of leftovers ). However, could this be making him feel bad, that I've been doing all this?
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