WJ6744 Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 So.. my girlfriend of 6 months told me tonight that she isn't in love with me anymore and doesn't know if she wants to be in a relationship. (Background story) We've been fighting a lot, mostly because I have trust issues and she heard I've been "checking up" on her. Well I've been truly working on it and haven't been checking up on her. Tonight we finally talked face to face after a good 3-4 day break. I arrived at her place and she immediately came over to me and held my hand. Then as we got to talking she comes out with "I'm not in love with you anymore, I'm not sure if I want to be in a relationship" Her excuse was "Can you blame me with whats been happening?" So I guess I've been pushing her away. And it's killing me because I've honestly realized all the stupid things I've done and I am just through with all that, I want to do things right. She said she would try though, and "try to be committed" and to give her time. This scares me because I'm laying a lot down only for an "I don't know" What am I supposed to do? I am very confused. She said that she hopes she can feel the same way with time and doesn't want to break up because she doesn't want to lose me.
VJohnson32 Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 Basically the spark is gone, thats what most women and I guess men mean by they are no in love anymore. Obviously you have trust issues you have to work on, that always makes you look weak and a bit clingy. From personal experience the only way to deal with this is disappear. Stay away from her and keep contact to a minimum. Never initiate contact. However if she does call you or text you, ignore her for few days or don't respond at all. Show her that you are not so clingy and insecure and you can be just fine without her. That would drive her crazy and if you play your cards right she may fall in love with you all over again. I know it sounds like playing mind games but thats the only way to bring the spark back. Staying in touch with her and being her friend for now will only push her away and will never be in love with you again. Will treat you as a friend. Stand up for yourself and show her the man you are and don't be so insecure its a big turn off to any person.
Fufu Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 Giver her and yourself some space. Don't contact her during this period. If she still wants to be with you again, she will let you know.
snug.bunny Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 (edited) Six months is a short time to fall out of love with someone. Either she was never in love with you, or your actions (i.e. mistrusting her, checking up on her - which is possessive behavior) really pushed her over the edge, were so extreme and enough to diminish any warm feelings she may have had for you. You can't really grow close to someone, when that barrier is present (the mistrusting) and six months into a relationship, you are still in that "developmental" stage. If there is any chance of a reconciliation, you're going to have to do the complete opposite of what you've been doing. Though, I wouldn't advise cutting ties completely, by not contacting her at all and/or ignoring her, but rather back off a bit so that she can have time to process her emotions. Backing off a bit will also allow you to keep things in perspective and not "lay down a lot" in terms of your emotions, during this fragile time. Edited April 24, 2011 by snug.bunny
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