HeavenOrHell Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 A man's personality is what makes him attractive to me yes, I'm not attracted to what they look like if I don't like their personality, they could be the most technically good looking person possible but I wouldn't find them attractive if I didn't like their personality. Liking someone's looks to me means their personality is reflected in their looks, ie the look in their eyes, their expressions, and how warm they are etc, although the latter is personality rather than looks! What does ugly mean anyway? We don't all the same tastes. If you're someone who says they wouldn't date someone 'ugly' how would you feel if you were seen as 'ugly' and got constantly rejected for it? Does a guys personality make him hot to you. I mean if you had a Brad Pit type and a Jim Carrey type that you hung out with would you go for the fun, funny guy if he wasn't dead ugly?
HeavenOrHell Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Wow, such depth to you I'm considered 'attractive' but I always go for personality over looks, why would I choose to be with someone who I have nothing, or very little, in common with just cos they're 'attractive'?!! I'm extremely picky, but over personality, not looks. Looks are just as important to women as they are Men possibly more in some cases The only people who claim they dont value looks much are people who arent attratcive enough to be picky about looks and have to go with whatever they can get Peopel with options who can afford to be picky about looks will be
Ross MwcFan Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 (edited) I completely agree! Sometimes I meet someone briefly, we become Facebook friends and chat, we talk a bit, like each other's personalities, go on a date, and it just falls flat. But personality and physical compatibility are both equally important to me. If I can't stand them, I ditch. If I can't see myself sleeping with them, I ditch. I tend to make these decisions very quickly; within an hour or so of association. Recently I've been wondering if I make my mind up too fast. Or is this normal? Did they have their pictures up on Facebook? Edited April 26, 2011 by Ross MwcFan
Ross MwcFan Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Why do you want a relationship so bad anyways? It seems to be consuming you. The time you use throwing pity parties could be used to improve yourself and find satisfaction outside of finding a woman. If you aren't satisfied while single, you will not be satisfied within a relationship. It's not that you shouldn't actively seek a partner, but you shouldn't let it control your life. Can you really expect most people at the age of 39 to feel satisfied if they're interested in having relationships but have never had one before?
nana841121 Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Looks is the first thing attracts me, hanging out, i pick the guy with good personality
kiss_andmakeup Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 While I'm definitely attracted to my boyfriend, I chose him for his personality, sense of humour, and emotional/intellectual compatibility with me. Looks alone are not enough for me to want a relationship with someone, and I would certainly take a smart, funny, and charasmatic "6" over a "10" with a lackluster personality.
Ross MwcFan Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 I remember a girl telling me she thought that her boyfriend was ugly once. I asked her 'why are you going out with him then?', and she said 'because I like his personality'.
BiscuitXOXO Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 (edited) Did they have their pictures up on Facebook? Yes, but you can't tell things like how they talk and move and walk from pictures. Can you really expect most people at the age of 39 to feel satisfied if they're interested in having relationships but have never had one before? Then obviously he's doing something wrong. Sure, I can understand why he may be down. But I'm not going to help him wallow in his self-pity; I'm going to tell him what he should strive to become. Even at 39 people can change. And if 80-year-olds can find love, why can't he? "Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Edited April 26, 2011 by BiscuitXOXO
Ross MwcFan Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Yes, but you can't tell things like how they talk and move and walk from pictures. Then obviously he's doing something wrong. Sure, I can understand why he may be down. But I'm not going to help him wallow in his self-pity; I'm going to tell him what he should strive to become. Even at 39 people can change. And if 80-year-olds can find love, why can't he? "Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Until he knows what is wrong, he's not going to know how to fix his problem.
A O Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 To answer the OP - Is personality more important than looks to women - the simple answer is NO. Looks plus personality trumps personality without looks far more often than not. Same deal for men. .
orangelady Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Then obviously he's doing something wrong. Sure, I can understand why he may be down. But I'm not going to help him wallow in his self-pity; I'm going to tell him what he should strive to become. [/i] OK then...so what should we become? You become our Dating Coach, Biscuit.
fishtaco Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 My theory is everything matters. Women want the whole package. So have a little bit of both. I don't think you need to look like you just stepped out of a magazine cover, and I don't think you need to have a personality that can inspire Gadaffi to stop killing the rebels. But, the problem with depending on personality is that it's a lot more difficult and time consuming to "see". Looks is immediately visible. Personality is not profiled until after significant interaction. How do you find a person attractive based on looks? Your eyes. It takes a second. How do you find a person attractive based on personality? After weeks or months of interaction? After you become friends? Plus a person's TRUE personality is not seen until times of conflict and hardship. Hence sometimes we have friends that after years of knowing each other, would still surprise us, when a situation happens. Sometimes positive, sometimes negative. Dating your friends is something that should be avoided. So yes, personality adds to a person's attractiveness, but how practical is it?
BiscuitXOXO Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Until he knows what is wrong, he's not going to know how to fix his problem. OK then...so what should we become? You become our Dating Coach, Biscuit. I don't claim to know everything. I'm probably the youngest person here. But I just have little regard for people who 1) have a problem, 2) recognize they have a probem, 3) refuse to find ways to change and adapt to fix the problem. This doesn't just go for dating. But in RP39's case, he is 1) 39 yo and has never been in a RS, 2) realizes something is wrong and is thus disappointed and comes on Loveshack seeking advice, 3) but when advice is given just bitterly refutes all of it and just has a "woe is me, life sucks" attitude. As to what we should become, I stated earlier that for RP39, he seems as if he finds all of his selfworth in being in a relationship. I understand it is hard and lonely being single, but you are only going to stay single if you allow yourself to mope around bitterly. So what he should do is seek satisfaction outside finding a RS. Besides, it is common sense that if he can't be satisfied w/o a relationship, then he won't be satisfied in one. RS's aren't easy; they take work. Being responsible and having to take care of someone else isn't a walk in the park. And seeing as how he seems rather unwilling to compromise and accommodate others, any RS he does end up in is going to be rather difficult.
orangelady Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 So what he should do is seek satisfaction outside finding a RS The problem is satisfaction is subjective and different to many.
BiscuitXOXO Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Dating your friends is something that should be avoided. So yes, personality adds to a person's attractiveness, but how practical is it? But then the person you aim to be in a relationship with will ideally eventually end up becoming a friend who you happen to be in love with. So I guess it is pretty practical?
BiscuitXOXO Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 The problem is satisfaction is subjective and different to many. Satisfaction to me means contentment. At peace with yourself. To enjoy life with what you have, not pining for what you wish you had. What's the problem? We can argue definitions, but I feel that mine is reasonable and could be acceptable to the majority of English speakers.
fishtaco Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 But then the person you aim to be in a relationship with will ideally eventually end up becoming a friend who you happen to be in love with. So I guess it is pretty practical? If it takes you four months to discover someone's personality is attractive, by then you are already friends, so you hit on your friend? That's a big no-no. A more realistic scenario is you build attention and attraction with your superficial qualities, then as you get to know each other, you make sure you don't fail the personality department. So yes, it is important, but it doesn't come into play until later. Simply because it's not easy to figure out a person's personality. But superficial qualities are immediately visible. Any man trying to "show case" his personality as his best foot forward is going to end up with a lot of friends. From my perspective, not practical. But it is a necessary ingredient if you want the relationship to last.
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