b18c1 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Hello. I am a young parent in my upper 20's. I am a rare breed. I am a single father. The mother is around but she is only to lessen her child support. I am a fit, good hygene, respectable, smart, can cook/clean. I can hold it all on my own except for one thing... I am unable to find a single date. My ex was my first everything and we were together for about a decade. I chose to be the parent but she decided to be the party animal. Its okay. I loved her so much but there isn't too much I can do about that. Well I have a weird history. I come from a family where the men were very poor fathers, abusive and habitually cheating on their SO's and children. Also, I was the only boy in my generation (yes, the only boy out of about 24 cousins). I also was born into a homeless shelter. I had to grow up at a young age. Well because what I went through or saw, I don't believe in cheating, womenizing, sleeping around, drugs, being abusive or neglecting children for one owns selfishness etc. So since I was young, finding the "one" has been a goal of mine. Well, now I sit. I have everything going for me except for the fact that girls do not like me. Don't get me wrong, I am a party animal, i love outdoor activities/sports but I just don't believe i need to be a "bad boy." I am approaching my 30's soon and honestly I refuse to date a girl with a "busy" past who now wants to settle down. I have male friends who are basically womanizers and it makes me litterly puke to know how many women they themselves have slept with. My ex left me for adventure of other men and she told me that she would be back in a few years. I don't want any of that. So I am lost inside. The older I get the more rare its getting find a lady who doesn't have a busy past. Should I accept that I will be alone forever? It just hurts knowing that everything is pure success except for that one thing.
veggirl Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Most women in your age range do have a past. If you are looking for a "pure" woman, perhaps try...I don't know, a church group? Otherwise you are going to have to get over what women did before they met you, or your dating pool is going to be VERY small. I mean how much is too much? What can you be okay with in their past and what can't you?
Author b18c1 Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 I am not looking for a virgin or anything like that. I don't like the concept of sleeping around. I know some people make mistakes and if they learned from it before meeting me, then its okay. But I do appreciate your answer that I need to start excepting that I might be alone forever. Its sad reality I have to face.
Cee Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 When a person has been single for a long time, they invent reasons why they will be "forever alone." And that keeps them from trying. Get out there and date women. Don't delve into a woman's past too much at first. Get to know her in the present. And that will indicate if there's a future.
Woggle Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 It is rough out there for guys like you but keep your standards and maybe one day you will get lucky. My friend is a single father who had the mother of his daughter decide she wants to run away with a convicted rapist instead of being there for her family and he finally found a good woman so you can as well.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I am actually shocked and surprised that you are having trouble with this! One of best friends that works with me as well had been dating a single Dad with two kids for 7 months now and couldn't be happier! If I was single, your type of situation would be pretty much exactly the type that I would be looking for. Since you are entering into your 30s, that is about the time when women are going to be coming out of their crappy marriages to their cheating husbands and odds are going to greatly improve of finding a loyal stable woman. What "getting out there" methods have you tried? I know that it can be really tough with kids. I also know what it is like coming from a rough background and working out being responsible. Some people from the "happy shiny" families will be scared off by where you come from and others from the not-so-happy families will often not have a clue about taking responsibility for themselves, their lives and their families. Catch 22. Nice eh?
Author b18c1 Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 @dreamingoftigers Sadly, yes. Its really hard being the single dad that I am but my values only make it tougher. Honestly, I am not even bit attracted to women who have sex outside committed relationships much like how some women do not even take a second glance at a single father. I actually would enjoy dating a responsible mother in her mid-late 20's. I have a great deal of friends but I am the last one without someone special. I do go out to bars, clubs and parties but honestly I do feel that most women there tend to be the ones I am turned off by. Some ideas of where I could meet attractive, responsible and value holding women would be nice. I am not looking for a virgin but finding someone who is wanting to show commitment with a "record" backing it up would be great. Basically a women who only believes in committed relationships and nothing less.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 That is exactly the way I am and what I believe. You know what that means right? That means we are the type of people that get burned the worst Wouldn't life have been so much easier if we didn't have values regarding sex and family? I am 28 and married to someone that claimed to share these values but had had a past that he wanted to leave behind..... Um, yeah.... No.... He has taken off on me and our 23 month old daughter 3 times since she was born and has stayed out all night on other occasions as well.. I hope that he takes his treatment seriously and actually works on himself instead of trying to develop more new and annoying ways to lie... I just know that there is something better out there for me, even if it is being single for the rest of my life, because being with him the way he has treated me is not something I am willing to accept anymore. Really, there is nowhere left to go but up. I don't want to catch something off of him either. These irresponsible people don't just risk their own lives, they risk the life of the responsible parent by messing around. I really hate that my daughter looks around for him and asks for Daddy even now and then.I get so frustrated with what's happened.
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