Update: So Hurt & Traumatized.. ..

[Tricia23]

In such distress and hurt. Please help.

Hello again,

 

Just needed to get some input on what's going on in my life right now. I am recently single after a year in a relationship. That relationship I was in was very rocky and insecure a good portion of the whole year we were together. He was different than any of the guys I ever dated. We started dating in April of 2010 and split up in November of 2010. We split because he thought I was bring too much trouble to our relationship. Meaning that I wouldn't leave him be when we had a fight. I would always try to talk and work it out, but in his eyes he thought I was trying to fight him back and win. So wasn't the case. I did lie to him a couple times, and that was because I felt threatened by him. I was scared to be honest with him for certain reasons, because everytime I did something he didn't like, I would get yelled at. And when he yelled, it was serious verbal abuse. Very mean and horrific things were said to me. So he basically told me it was my fault and that I needed to change. So ok, I signed up for therapy and tried to better myself. So after a few months in about January of 2011, we started hanging out again. We had fun together. It was nice, so we got back together in March of 2011.

 

Things were wonderful. We were very happy with each other. So of course when a small fight arose, it was All my fault. 100%. He started the verbal abuse again and it was just awful. So of course he clearly told me what I did wrong and what I need to fix. The only thing he felt bad about was saying mean things. He told me that I bring out the monster in him. Yeah ok. Everybody controls their own actions. So again I wasn't mature enough. I was dumb and had no knowledge according to him. A second fight happened a few weeks later and the same thing happened, but he spit at me this time. That was horrible. He always said I wasn't smart. I was immature, and I always seemed to upset him! How and why?!?! I never wanted to do that.

 

Then 2 days ago was it. I was joking around and I guess me doing was all it took for him to say everything terrible you can possibly think of. The verbal abuse was terrifying. It just became out of contol. I called the police I was so scared. I pushed him away and covered his mouth from speaking because I was so upset he wouldn't stop calling me names after I asked him a hundred times. So that was it. It was over. The cops told us to just relax and go our separate ways for the night. He recently started taking steroids. So I don't know if that could have added to the difficulty of the fight.

 

I haven't spoken to him since, but I did text him saying I was sorry and that I'm done contacting him for good. Probably not something I should have done, but I did. I'm so disgusted by him and what he did. We had a vacation planned and now that's not happening. $1300.00 down the drain. That's all done with. It's just awful.

 

I know I don't deserve to be treated that way, but I am so upset. I felt bad I called the police on him. I feel awful I pushed him, and covered his mouth. I feel bad I caused him to get mad. I never should have made a joke at the wrong time. If i wouldn't have done that, things could be different. I just all around feel horrible.

 

Please anybody with advice, I'd appreciate it. I know I shouldnt be upset, but I am. I can't shake this terrible feeling I have.

 

 

Please help....

Edited April 23, 2011 by Tricia23

[Mcnulty]

The guy sounds like a ticking time bomb. Steroids will not be aiding his temper either.

 

Sounds like you are walking on egg shells constantly and i feel it's only a matter of time before the verbal abuse turns physical.

 

You're doing a good thing seeking therapy, it can only help you, but as far as a relationship with this guy,....do you want to be afraid and mentally beaten? No, course you don't and you don't deserve to be, so view this as a warning and run for the hills, he is not going to treat you any better in the future is he?