In my quest of becoming a better person, should I reconnect with guy friend?

[dressing up]

I'm trying to be a better person, and that includes being cordial with people and not making enemies so to speak.

 

If you remember, I have a guy friend (the one I had a crush on but he later ended up dating someone else) whom I've stopped talking to because of a misunderstanding/episode where he did something that disappointed me.

 

I don't want to lie and say that I don't miss him but in my quest of being a better person (and slowly accepting the fact that he's not with me but someone else), I'm contemplating reconnecting with him. The reason being I was too harsh to be the one to stop talking to him and what he did probably didn't deserve that since he did apologize.

 

The reason I want to do it: to become a better person and be nice to people as much as I can.

 

The reason I haven't done it: don't want to open a new can of worms and all the crazy that I may become about him (I haven't fully got over him).

 

Should I do it or should I not do it? Why?

[Shadowburn]

Please stop making up excuses to break NC. He has a girlfriend. You'd be much better person to walk away and to leave it all alone.

[sabienne]

I agree with shadow burn. You're looking for an excuse to break NC just to hear from him.

 

It will do you more harm than good. Don't do it!

[Hules]

I'm trying to be a better person, and that includes being cordial with people and not making enemies so to speak.

 

If you remember, I have a guy friend (the one I had a crush on but he later ended up dating someone else) whom I've stopped talking to because of a misunderstanding/episode where he did something that disappointed me.

 

I don't want to lie and say that I don't miss him but in my quest of being a better person (and slowly accepting the fact that he's not with me but someone else), I'm contemplating reconnecting with him. The reason being I was too harsh to be the one to stop talking to him and what he did probably didn't deserve that since he did apologize.

 

The reason I want to do it: to become a better person and be nice to people as much as I can.

 

The reason I haven't done it: don't want to open a new can of worms and all the crazy that I may become about him (I haven't fully got over him).

 

Should I do it or should I not do it? Why?

 

Part in bold is the truth, this has nothing to do with you been on a "quest to become a better person". Nothing good will come from breaking NC, leave it be.

[Duckduckgoose]

If you have a thing for him and he has a gf it's best to let it be. In your quest to become a better person this might well be a lesson to leave well enough alone.

 

If it doesn't work out with him and this girl you will probably find out. Better that you keep NC while they are dating then to make a mess of yourself and when they do break up he will not want anything to do with you.

 

Your chances are better of getting with him if you keep your head held high even though you want to cry. He will respect your dignity.

[dressing up]

Thanks. I get what you guys are saying and I accept it though I'm not consciously trying to break NC. I mean I don't think I'm trying to break NC to break NC. I genuinely feel awful about doing it to a friend, be it this guy friend or someone else. I'm not saying I'm a good person but it's just affecting me. Like I think I'm slowly coming out of this and starting to feel better so I feel that if this is "solved," I can really be happy again.

 

Dignity has always been what I have and nothing good has come out of guarding it. :D Someone even asked me how much is your dignity worth on a different subject. So I'm torn between keeping my dignity and doing the "right" things in any other situation.

 

No, I'm not saying I'm going to disregard what you guys said because otherwise I won't come here for inputs. I just haven't decided. I really wish this whole thing didn't happen!

[GrayClouds]

Like I think I'm slowly coming out of this and starting to feel better so I feel that if this is "solved," I can really be happy again.

Can you say rationalization?

 

Your current happiness in not dependent on "solving this". It fact it is solved you stopped talking to him and he agree with you. If he did not he would have been making contact with you. I will bet dollars to donuts you are thinking about this 1000% more then he is. I suspect this is less about being a nice person as it is you hating the idea he is just fine without you in his life.

 

If you really want to show dignity this leave him alone and work on find ways to be happy that are not dependent on other people opinions.

[dressing up]

Can you say rationalization?

 

Your current happiness in not dependent on "solving this". It fact it is solved you stopped talking to him and he agree with you. If he did not he would have been making contact with you. I will bet dollars to donuts you are thinking about this 1000% more then he is. I suspect this is less about being a nice person as it is you hating the idea he is just fine without you in his life.

 

If you really want to show dignity this leave him alone and work on find ways to be happy that are not dependent on other people opinions.

 

This is what I feel recently. "Life is too short to worry too much about little things like your ego and awkwardness." That's part of the reason why I'm contemplating reconnecting. I have it in another thread but it seems like nobody else agrees in it.

 

But I don't disagree that I could be thinking too much about it, more so than the guy friend is.

 

I'll say rationalization. If it will make me happy.