Bateman Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Was NC for three months and doing fine. Then BAM! I happened to see her out with her friends. We went to the same bar and I saw her and approached her. We talked for a little bit but it felt awkward. I just wanted to talk to her all night. I would catch glances from her and she would smile real big and I would smile back. Then she left without saying goodbye. Ruined my night. Since I dont have her number anymore, I sent an e-mail telling her that it was good seeing her and if she was ever back in town to give me a call. No response. She is out of town with family so I will give it a couple of days. My point though, I'm right back to where I was at the breakup point. I wish I would have stayed in that night and not gone out. I'm a wreck again.
Katt22 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Oh no! I'm so sorry, these things happen. We all fall off the NC wagon at least once, but you we're doing phenomenally! Three months is a long time. I honestly think the only mistake you made was e-mailing her. I know its so super tempting, especially in a weak moment to do something impulsive but at the end of the day you are just torturing yourself. Delete her contact information on your e-mail, don't put yourself through that. This is a minor set-back, if you have enough self control to maintain NC for three months then I'm sure you can bounce back. Don't be too hard on yourself, everything is an education. For now, do what you need to do. Feel the pain for a little while but don't let it consume you.
Irishlove Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 It's ok to remember and be sad for a while but don't stay there too long. Get up and move on with your life. (hugs)
Author Bateman Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 Thanks. I don't even know if she uses that e-mail anymore. I just want to open up the lines of communication again. I don't like being strangers.
Fufu Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Are you ready to communicate with her without feeling any ache in your heart?
sandman223 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 It seems to me that if those feelings are resurfacing you may not be ready to reconnect. You don't want to set yourself back.
Author Bateman Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 I know I'm not ready. And I know I need to move on but I just feel like the last 3 months of recovery just got shot to hell and I have to start over again. All because I saw her out.
TaraMaiden Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Oooooh! Wanna know your B-I-G mistake? here goes.... .....We went to the same bar and I saw her and approached her. if you'd just waved from across the bar, and let her be, and not gone over, none of this would have happened. What might have happened is that she may have then approached you - in which case your best bet would have been to act the "Mr Cool" role... One of the best sayings I've read on here, used to be the signature of a long-standing member: "It's the person who cares the least, who controls the most". You need to read the no Contact guide in my signature. If anyone really knows what he's talking about - having worked every day with his ex - it's Caliguy.....
Author Bateman Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 Yeah that never occurred to me. I have heard that before. I guess I missed that opportunity. Oh well, maybe next time. I may have already read CaliGuy's thing but I'm going to read it again none the less.
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