chelle21689 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 In the past threads I was worried that I had nothing to talk about with this guy and that there was no connection but that wasn't it because we can be on the phone for hours. I figured out what was missing...mental stimulation. He doesn't know how to give his perspective/ideas and talk about it. I met this guy 2 months ago and we've been talking almost every night and seeing each other once a week on weekends. He's a great catch! He's a gentleman, handsome, a very good guy, responsible, smart with decisions he makes, same views, makes me laugh, adventurous, open-minded, and goes after what he wants. Sometimes we even stay on the phone for hours just laughing and talking about random things. Here's the flaw, even though we can have conversation I feel like he doesn't hold a very stimulating conversation that makes me think and challenges me. He sucks at explaining his perspective and when I ask for his opinion on things he doesn't know how to elaborate how he feels or why he thinks that way. If he could just explain his perspective and thinking then I would be happy because seeing things from someone else's eyes makes you learn a lot and think differently. I'm a very curious person and very philosophical and dig deep in a conversation. Is there any way to "teach" someone to express their thoughts and opinions? I know he gets frustrated trying to because he doesn't know how. I used to be very quiet and not know how to engage in conversation but some how that has changed over the years.
utterer of lies Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I'm a very curious person and very philosophical and dig deep in a conversation. Is there any way to "teach" someone to express their thoughts and opinions? I know he gets frustrated trying to because he doesn't know how. Theoretically, you could try to teach the slowpoke, but realistically...if he didn't learn it by now, there's probably a reason for that. Enjoy him while it lasts but keep your eyes open
Cee Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Where is the common ground when you two talk? You say you can talk for hours so there's got to be attraction and compatibility. I'm very much like your boyfriend. I am intelligent, but not philosophical. I can't explain things because I process a lot of data, and through some mysterious algorithm, come up with an opinion. If someone asks me to defend my opinion, I can't. I know what I know. Sometimes I feel dumber than other people because I cannot articulate an elegant logic. But I come up with answers quicker than most because my mind skips steps. I would investigate his communication style and perhaps his Myers-Briggs personality type. That may give you insight on your man's mind. Perhaps, you can learn to love it for its quiet brilliance.
Cee Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 Myers-Briggs is a personality test on 4 dimensions. It divides people into 16 personality types. You can Google "Kiersey Temperament Sorter" to find free tests online. Some tests you have to pay for, but there are free versions floating around. There's probably a wiki on this topic too, but I'm too lazy to hunt for it. It's simply a way to gain insight on people's personalities, a tool.
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