airsign Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 Hello everyone, My story...I am 32,wife 33 been Married almost 9 yrs (together almost 13) 3 children,my 13 yr old step daughter and 2 boys from the marriage ages 11 and 7. 2 days after christmas I caught my wife in our home with another "man".He was a friend and he was and still is with his wife, who happened to be my wifes b.friend at the time! I immediately went into panic mode, I threw him out of the house and wanted answers from my wife. I was in a massive state of shock. To make it worse my youngest was actually in bed at the time and he came down because he was woken by all the noise. Wife went to her brothers house with my son,as you can imagine he was very upset. This was after she called her mother to the house. I constantly tried ringing for a day or so,couldnt eat or sleep.She was basically ignoring me.My 2 other kids were already at their uncles,so I was alone and going out of my mind. I discovered the affair had been going on for approx 5 months. I have found out a lot of the details from him. During the 5 month period she actually left me for 5 weeks between oct/nov.She claimed she needed a break and was stressed with her studies.In my heart I knew their was something wrong, and at one point even asked her if she was seeing anyone else.Only because their was nothing left that could be wrong. She has claimed she came back to "try and get on". My obvious response was how can that possibly be the case when you were embroiled in an affair! She has never spoke about anything, I have been the one that has had to instigate everything. It is so frustrating, how can you be married with kids and basically just go away. Not even talk about things and just leave it at that! In the previous years we were together I have been a very attentive partner. I was always their for her in every way. I worked full time,done everything around the house, and was a constant in our kids lives. I was always doing things,the little things that I so miss now. Currently she is still with her brother, 2 kids there and my eldest son with me. I honestly just want my family back and I have thought of everything 100 times over! I thought of all the deceipt and the hurt she has caused. How utterly selfish she is etc etc. But it always comes back around to me thinking it can actually work out. I would be prepared to forgive, because I think what we have built over the years is precious. But the major problem is she isnt a talker,she just seems to show no emotion and does what she needs to do to get through the day.She appears to be getting on with her life and has said its over. But all i have said is we cant leave it at that, at least clear things up,because i dont actually know why it happened and i dont even know if she does! I also think she must have some guilt and she possibly cant believe in what i am saying and see the bigger picture. Another thing that makes it harder is the fact we spoke about seeing each other,but it never happened. We also kissed only 3 wks ago and then still no progress. I have never had any reason to believe this has happened before. We were just a nice normal family enjoying life and then it was all torn apart. I know the common sense things to do like thinking about myself,mixing with other people etc,but as i said i keep having the same thoughts and feelings. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and thanks for reading my story. Regards, Craig Link to post Share on other sites
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