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Are girls only attracted to Loud Confident guys? never seen girls attracted to me

quietGuy13

By quietGuy13
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quietGuy13 Established Member

quietGuy13

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And i mean NEVER! I've never seen any girl attracted to me.

 

I"m quiet and at work, and anywhere nobody even looks at me. Especially the attractive girls.

 

But i always see them with the loud guys and i can see their eyes and how they are really attracted to them.

 

It's funny, though, that i've been told by OLD women like therapists, doctors, and a few stragers in the bus stop that i'm attractive.

BiscuitXOXO Established Member

BiscuitXOXO

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Maybe not loud, but I go for confident guys. And that does mean being brave enough to speak up on occasion.

 

And more outgoing guys are definitely lots of fun; more so than the wallflower.

 

Not to say that you have no chance; seek out a quiet girl who isn't comfortable with loud confident guys and you're set! The thing is, these girls are the ones YOU are probably ignoring because they tend to just quietly stand in the background.

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quietGuy13 Established Member

quietGuy13

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Actually, i'm not ignoring quiet girls. Those are the ones i always try to talk to in bus stops etc. The thing is in all company's where i've worked including where i am now, everybody is loud .. all girls are loud and talkative. and like you said, outgoing loud guys are fun to them.

 

when i was in college too, there was nobody like me ever. They were all great speakers.

betterdeal Established Member

betterdeal

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How about speaking up a bit?

counterman Established Member

counterman

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I have been the shy, quieter guy and it got me nowhere in terms of girls. Once I got more confident and started to put myself out there, the girls were attracted to me.



 

I was never "loud" though and I think can picture what you mean. You don't have to be loud to attract girls.

Ross MwcFan Established Member

Ross MwcFan

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How about speaking up a bit?

 

It can be very hard to force your voice out sometimes. Even if you do manage too, a lot of times it can end up coming out way too loud, or high and quavery/weak.

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Lilmisus Established Member

Lilmisus

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How about speaking up a bit?

 

For me, I love guys who are fun to be around who are capable of being loud and talkative, who show an extreme amount of confidence. Shy guys are just a major turnoff and annoyance for me, because they remind me too much of who I used to be. I used to be incredibly shy and quiet due to my SAD, but little by little people pulled me out of my shell and taught me how to be more on the "loud" and "confident" side. Now people have to tell me to be quiet or to stop talking :p

 

Just speaking up a bit isn't what you need though, you need to find a friend or two (if you don't have them, go find some!) to help you work on being more outgoing and comfortable speaking up and to others. For me, taking a theatre class for two years helped me amazingly well. If you wanted to, you could sign up to help out for your next local theatre's show or something along those lines if you want to work on your loudness and confidence. If not, have the friends take you out and coach you on how to speak to girls, how to bring attention to yourself without being the loud guy in the room.

betterdeal Established Member

betterdeal

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It can be very hard to force your voice out sometimes. Even if you do manage too, a lot of times it can end up coming out way too loud, or high and quavery/weak.

 

I know what you mean, having been a mumbler for many years of my life. So where do you want to start?

orangelady Established Member

orangelady

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Actually, i'm not ignoring quiet girls. Those are the ones i always try to talk to in bus stops etc. The thing is in all company's where i've worked including where i am now, everybody is loud .. all girls are loud and talkative. and like you said, outgoing loud guys are fun to them.

 

when i was in college too, there was nobody like me ever. They were all great speakers.

 

I'm in that exact same situation. I am a quiet and timid girl and I always go unnoticed. But I found out that it's not always about character traits. It always is about looks. It's complete double standards.

 

For example, if an ugly guy is shy he is labelled boring and weird, when a good looking guy is shy, he's adorable or possibly mysterious. When an ugly guy is an idiot he's an idiot, when a good looking guy is an idiot, he's a bad boy. When an ugly girl is a bit clumsy, she's stupid, when a good looking is clumsy she is ditsy and adorable. When an ugly girl has a boring personality, she's boring, when a good looking girl has a boring personality she's sensible, sophisticated and nice. It's complete double standards for good looking people. No matter what personality flaw they have if they're good looking people will dress it up as something else.

Professor X Established Member

Professor X

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It can be very hard to force your voice out sometimes. Even if you do manage too, a lot of times it can end up coming out way too loud, or high and quavery/weak.

 

Enough excuses. You better start opening your mouth or no-one will ever notice you.

Do you really expect girls to just notice you? Moreover, if you are a quiet person in a place where they all talk all the time, than you just stand a part in a bad way, even leaning towards being antisocial.

 

Think about it. No-one will ever know who you really are if you just keep quiet.

orangelady Established Member

orangelady

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To me, I can't stand loud outgoing guys. I just find them annoying. Some of them are insecurity dressed up with lots of confidence. It's all a show. But not ALL are like that. Some are naturally just very outgoing and everyone's just naturally attracted to listen to them and pay attention to them.

 

I like a guy who is not centre of attention, but the problem with quiet guys are, when you talk to them individually, they don't have much to say. It's hard to get the conversation going with them. So I feel they don't like me and I just move away. After all, if they did like me, they would talk more?

Ross MwcFan Established Member

Ross MwcFan

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I know what you mean, having been a mumbler for many years of my life. So where do you want to start?

 

Put yourself around people, or people who you don't feel that confident around, a lot more often, and eventually you will begin to feel more confident and will naturally talk more at a confident volume.

orangelady Established Member

orangelady

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It can be very hard to force your voice out sometimes. Even if you do manage too, a lot of times it can end up coming out way too loud, or high and quavery/weak.

 

I agree, Ross. I have literally FORCED my voice out to butt in but many times, people just hear me and look at me for 2 seconds, and then they're back to chatter among themselves. And I feel my voice is quavery and weak compared to them.

Ross MwcFan Established Member

Ross MwcFan

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In continuation to my last post, it's what I've started doing and it's working.

Ross MwcFan Established Member

Ross MwcFan

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Enough excuses. You better start opening your mouth or no-one will ever notice you.

Do you really expect girls to just notice you? Moreover, if you are a quiet person in a place where they all talk all the time, than you just stand a part in a bad way, even leaning towards being antisocial.

 

Think about it. No-one will ever know who you really are if you just keep quiet.

 

I'm already working on it.

 

A problem that I used to have many years ago though, was that I hardly ever spoke when I was around people, even my friends, even when I didn't even feel shy, and the reason being is that I just couldn't think of anything to say. I didn't seem to have this problem though, if it was just myself and one other person.

 

The usual kind of response I'd get to this would be 'just say anything', but seriously, you can't just say anything.

 

I'm not sure if I'd still have this problem now, since I haven't socialised for years. I bet I probably would though.

Darren Taylor Established Member

Darren Taylor

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For example, if an ugly guy is shy he is labelled boring and weird, when a good looking guy is shy, he's adorable or possibly mysterious. When an ugly guy is an idiot he's an idiot, when a good looking guy is an idiot, he's a bad boy. When an ugly girl is a bit clumsy, she's stupid, when a good looking is clumsy she is ditsy and adorable. When an ugly girl has a boring personality, she's boring, when a good looking girl has a boring personality she's sensible, sophisticated and nice. It's complete double standards for good looking people. No matter what personality flaw they have if they're good looking people will dress it up as something else.

 

 

Sums it up perfectly. I'm shy and I've never been called creepy, weird, idiot.

orangelady Established Member

orangelady

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Sums it up perfectly. I'm shy and I've never been called creepy, weird, idiot.

 

Then why did you say it sums it up perfectly. You have never been called but you may have been thought as. (not trying to be mean, just saying you never know what someone is thinking just because they didn't tell you verbally)

Jazzari Established Member

Jazzari

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Generally I like fun guys. But sometimes its the quiet ones that catch my attention. It all depends on how they pull it off, say at a group gathering:

 

If they are standing there looking like they would like to join in, but don't know what to say - then that's a turn off.

 

But if they are quietly leaning up against the wall with a confident amused grin on their face - that's hot. Especially if they can catch your eye and give you that shared "aren't they fun to watch?" look. It like they are a rock in the midst of all the commotion and can even make the fun guys look like silly boys.

Darren Taylor Established Member

Darren Taylor

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Then why did you say it sums it up perfectly. You have never been called but you may have been thought as. (not trying to be mean, just saying you never know what someone is thinking just because they didn't tell you verbally)

 

 

Because I know how to read body language. People act positively around me.

orangelady Established Member

orangelady

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Because I know how to read body language. People act positively around me.

 

lol okay thanks

orangelady Established Member

orangelady

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Generally I like fun guys. But sometimes its the quiet ones that catch my attention. It all depends on how they pull it off, say at a group gathering:

 

If they are standing there looking like they would like to join in, but don't know what to say - then that's a turn off.

 

But if they are quietly leaning up against the wall with a confident amused grin on their face - that's hot. Especially if they can catch your eye and give you that shared "aren't they fun to watch?" look. It like they are a rock in the midst of all the commotion and can even make the fun guys look like silly boys.

 

Hmmm interesting image. I wouldn't find that a turn off, I might try to talk to him because who knows he may be a gem, just not confident like me. I don't like confident guys in an arrogant way.

betterdeal Established Member

betterdeal

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Put yourself around people, or people who you don't feel that confident around, a lot more often, and eventually you will begin to feel more confident and will naturally talk more at a confident volume.

 

That's a good start. Most of the time I was mumbling I wasn't sure of what I was saying. The major reason for that was not knowing how to say what I wanted to say. Enter assertiveness techniques, NLP and just picking up ideas from other people. Now I don't take any of these things as gospel, but it has helped to read differing ideas about how to relate to people, and also how to see things not as threats but as something that can be enjoyed. Learn how to laugh off your own imperfections and you'll feel more confident because you'll know that when you do make a mistake, you can recover from it better, and so make less mistakes because you're more confident.

 

It's just a new project.

PJKino Established Member

PJKino

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I dont know why women assume becasue a guy is loud that hes confident and that a quiet laid back guy is automatically not confident..

 

Sometimes you just dont have something to say every second of the hour..

gaius Established Member

gaius

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And i mean NEVER! I've never seen any girl attracted to me.

 

I"m quiet and at work, and anywhere nobody even looks at me. Especially the attractive girls.

 

But i always see them with the loud guys and i can see their eyes and how they are really attracted to them.

 

It's funny, though, that i've been told by OLD women like therapists, doctors, and a few stragers in the bus stop that i'm attractive.

 

A girl doesn't want a guy who sits there and stares at the floor when he's brought over to meet her friends. It's embarrassing. She wants you to be able to contribute to general conversation so you seem normal, and if you sit at work all day and never say a word then she's just going to assume you're unable to do that.

 

Those older women are trying to mother you.

BiscuitXOXO Established Member

BiscuitXOXO

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A girl doesn't want a guy who sits there and stares at the floor when he's brought over to meet her friends. It's embarrassing. She wants you to be able to contribute to general conversation so you seem normal, and if you sit at work all day and never say a word then she's just going to assume you're unable to do that.

Agreed! I want other people to like my man too. It shows value in both him and me.

 

Also, I'd want him to stand up when we're being unfairly treated. The other day the guy I was with went to the store to return something of his...and we waited there for around 20 minutes because he didn't make himself assertive enough to catch the attention of a store associate. Just stood awkwardly around until someone asked if he needed help. Honestly, I would have taken the initiative if it was my item. Returning the item itself took less than 30 seconds. Lame. /rant

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