Ando88 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Hey all, I need some advice regarding my long-distance relationship. I was dating my ex-girlfriend for about 1 year. She was from Hong Kong and was studying in Sydney (where I am from) and we met in our final year of university. Everything was perfect when we were together; we got along like no other, we had similar interests, similar ideas on life, we both wanted the same things in life and we were basically compatible in every way. When we were together we were madly in love, we went on amazing dates, shared many experiences together, and even had some big overseas holidays together. We never fought, never argued and basically enjoyed our time together all the time. I thought it was the perfect relationship. Unfortunately when we finished university last November, she was moving back home to work, as her family is there and that was where her skills were best suited and I already had a job lined up in Sydney. I went back to Hong Kong with her in December and stayed with her for 2 months. I met all her old friends, spent time with her family and everything was perfect. When I left to come back to Sydney, we agreed that we would stay together, we would skype several times a week and would visit each other every 3-4 months. We also agreed that I would try and get an transfered to Hong Kong after 1 year working in Sydney. Saying good-bye was the hardest thing I've ever done. At first everything was great, we were communicating regularly on Skype, facebook, email etc. She was telling me how much she missed me and I was doing the same. But after the first month, her Skype broke down and she didn't know how to get it back up (she was not very tech savy). So we started talking on the phone. Now she always said to me when we were together that she can't stand my phone personality as it is too serious and monotoned and she needs to see my face to know that I'm not being super serious and just being silly. Anyway after we stopped skyping, I was still texting/emailing her and she was replying saying the usual stuff like "I love you", "Can't wait to see you" etc. I had booked tickets to see her this weekend (April 22nd to 27th) and she knew that. We were planning on having an Easter long weekened together. Then one day out of the blue I get a message saying "we have to talk". I rang her, thinking she just wanted to talk as we hadn't had a chance to talk for a few days, and she basically told me she was "unsure how I feel" and that "I love you but I'm not sure what kind of love it is". I was obviously stunned and heart broken. I thought everything was perfect. She then proceeded to tell me she felt like we were just friends and that when I told her I was coming to visit she was not as excited as she should have been and that she didn't miss me as much as I missed her. She also told me that she had had these feelings for a long time but she didn't think it mattered until now. She said I'm not the right guy for her as I didn't lead her and that I need to find the right balance between being kind hearted and commanding respect. She also attempted to offer me dating advice and said I need to find a nice quiet girl who will respect me for who I am. Needless to say I was in a state of shock. I tried to convince her to let me come to Hong Kong to sort it out with her but she didn't want me too. She said if i was coming to fix the relationship I was coming in vain. I basically emailed, texted and called her for about 10 days after the relationship, trying to convince her to let me come and visit her but all it did was push her further away. I even wrote her a poem, which softened her up a bit: she said I was "too good to her" and was very appreciative to recieve the poem. After 10 days of pleading I realised it wasn't going to work so I texted her and said I had "accepted that we are no longer dating, but it is very hard for me because I love you so much". That was 18 days ago and I haven't made contact with her since. Now 3 days ago (after 15 days of no contact) she emailed me to tell me she recieved the package I sent to her a few weeks before we broke up. It was a stuffed toy and a card. She said the card was very meaningful to her and that it was very sweet of me to get the stuffed toy for her. She also said it would be nice to have a coffee or grab lunch when she's in Sydney in late May for graduation (only for a few days). I haven't replied to the email yet as: a) I don't want to break the no contact and I want to let it linger a bit b) I don't really know what to say Now I want this girl back so badly, but I don't want to fall into the friend zone. I feel as though she only wants to meet up as a friend and I know that she is going back overseas straight away. Should I agree to this meeting or should I make it difficult for her (i.e. tell her I'll be busy at work that week etc)? Should I not reply at all? If it helps, it has been 4 weeks since we broke up and I've spent nearly 3 of those weeks in No Contact. Any advice would be grealty appreciated. Thanks a lot!
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