dumped for not callong him for one day after grandad passed away?

[baire]

where to start? i need some advice before my head bursts..

I was with this guy up until a week ago, he has been very up and down for the past 14 months. i met him through his sister and he had been on his own for 2 yrs after splitting with his childs mother, hes a very needy kinda of person, if i didnt contact him every day he got vry upset and nasty.. i have my own place so does he, i have a grown up daugher and he has a very young one. We have not met each others kids although he says its a serious realationship, i have not et any other memebers of his family as he didnt think i needed to. we have fallen out a few times mainly because he does not like what my daughter does for a living and either thought he has never met her blames alot of me being dumped on what she does for work? he has his daughter twice aweek and is in contact with his ex constantly. in fact prob sees her more than me, which i resent as he spends ages on the phone to her at my house and only speaks to me on the phone for a max of 3 mins. He has been hard work and i have a very demanding job and lately it has been hard for me to find the time to see hi when he does not have his daughter, i have made time but he keeps changing days when he has daughter. we split up for 2 months and he kept being nasty by sending nasty texts and saying he cant be with me because he cant marry me or live with me as he didnt want his daughter anywhere near mine which hurt, my daughter is 22 and his is 3 my daughter lives abroad and has never been back so i cant see what the problem is, i am offended that he uses her as an excuse to dump me when he seems to loose control over me or just wants me to hurt. He wants me to be there for him when it suites him but wont change or bend in anyway if hes busy but expects me too. I have just had a massive increase inmy work load and discussed it would be hard to see him for a couple of weeks, he didnt like it but arranged to see each other later in the week.

His grandfather died and his dad came round and told him, first time i met his father, as they turned up he told me to hide in the house which upset me as i felt offended that i had to hide from his family. his dad insisted on meeting me and with the bad news its was not the best way to met someone,but very nice to me. My ex takes anything like that very badly and i could see he was getting upset so asked if he wanted me to leave, which he did, i kept asking him if he ok he said yes. he called me the next day he was again very spiky on the phone and hung up as i was still talking but after saying he didnt want me to text him that night or the next day, i had a very busy day the following day so didnt bother. he called me the day after asking whats going on and i said nothing are you are ok, again he said yes, he was so off with me again on the phone. then after the call texts me and says again its not working as i didnt contact him the day before. i tried calling him he would not answer the phone i texted him again he wouldn answer the phone so i drove over there and he didnt answer the door. i had driven 500 miles that day and was shattered, i text him again and said let me know your ok i am worrried, i got a shiity text back saying he was in bed ill after 9 hrs of trying to contact him. he then said get your stuff another day. so i left it as he was being nasty he tried to call me on the friday 3 days later, which i again didnt answer as i was still not happy with the fact he carried on like he did. this has happen a few times when his sister was poorly he dumps me like its my fault.

 

please give me some advise on how to deal with this.

[sonic3]

I think you deserve better if he is saying those things about your daughter and asking you to hide from his family.

 

If he's ashamed of you, then why be with someone like that? It sounds like a lot more trouble than it's worth.

[baire]

It has felt that i have been his dirty secret, they know about me as they sent me an xmas card, but his father was speaking as if i hadn seen him for ages and just appeared tht day.......... i am just so confused as i thought this time he wouldn do this again.. but soon as something happens in his life i am kicked to the kerb, who ends a relationship for no contact for one day. theres a pattern to this he cuts me dead for a week then sends me a text meant for his friend then we start teexts, we end up meeting up to pick our things up and i end up falling back into it. we get on great there are no warning signs and because he feels that maybe hes not my main reason for living he does this again. He mentioned when he was tipsy he does it to keep me on my toes.. my head is all over the place and i just want to be strong and walk away..

[sonic3]

If you want to move on then not seeing or speaking to him definitely seems like the best way to go and you won't be tempted to go back if he tries to lure you.

 

If this keeps happening then it will probably always keep happening and you deserve better than that.