Darren Taylor Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 When I read threads here about courting, who pays, pursuing, gender roles, and other topics; I can't help but feel turned off. I'm going to be 23 in a little over 2 months. I'm still a virgin and have never even been on a date. And to be honest, it doesn't even bother me. I feel indifferent about it. I read some of the threads here and I'm almost glad I don't date. It feels as if there's too many rules and I don't feel I'm missing out. Does anyone feel the same way?
waytoonervous Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 When I read threads here about courting, who pays, pursuing, gender roles, and other topics; I can't help but feel turned off. I'm going to be 23 in a little over 2 months. I'm still a virgin and have never even been on a date. And to be honest, it doesn't even bother me. I feel indifferent about it. I read some of the threads here and I'm almost glad I don't date. It feels as if there's too many rules and I don't feel I'm missing out. Does anyone feel the same way? I was a virgin until 22, so you're in good company. 24 now. But honestly, the "rules" should never be a deterrent to dating, or a reason not to date. The *only* reason to heed any of those "rules" is to try to improve your odds/success with dating. But the whole process is supposed to be *fun*, so you could only heed the "rules" to the extent that they allow you to have *more* fun. They're certainly not a reason to not date: you might as well completely ignore all of them, and you'll still have a far better dating experience than not dating at all. Which brings me to the question of: why have you never been on a date? I know my reasons for being a late bloomer, but I'm curious to understand yours.
Author Darren Taylor Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 Which brings me to the question of: why have you never been on a date? I know my reasons for being a late bloomer, but I'm curious to understand yours. You can say I'm a late bloomer as well. I wasn't(and still not) proactive about it.
9Lives Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 To answer your question: No I enjoy dating. There are things you need to know when dating because you are getting to know someone and you have to be kinda cautious. It can be great. So if you are not dating, what do you for fun?
Author Darren Taylor Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 So if you are not dating, what do you for fun? I model part-time, which for me is fun since it's not my main source of income. Other than that, I go to the beach pretty often and also play recreational sports.
Cee Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I wouldn't look to Love Shack as a model for what dating is really like. The board amplifies what is negative about dating. I am in a new relationship and I almost never post a thread on LS about it. Because there's nothing to say. It's going great and no drama whatsoever. I suggest you put yourself out there a little bit if you want to date. It doesn't mean you have to start hit on every woman you see. Maybe if you pay attention to the signals women are sending you, then you'll see more dating possibilities. The act of being open to dating will shift your attitude slightly. And that shift in attitude will help you find dating prospects. If you don't want to date, then don't bother. Enjoy the beach and your friends.
Cracker Jack Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 (edited) The idea of dating is more scary than annoying (based on some of the reasons you've mentioned) to me, and I've also never been on one. I'm 23. I'm trying to get past that, but I just feel like I would be totally clueless in a date setting. And I actually want to date women instead of just reading about it. But of course, reading various topics here and on other forums isn't helping the matter. I think the key for me is to stop being online so much. Edited April 23, 2011 by Cracker Jack
Professor X Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 To many people think that dating comes with a book of set rules. It doesn't. I've never dated, I'm 25yo and I've had 7 RS so far. Non of which started with a date. Hell, In most of my RS I got to bed before ever going out on a date with the chick. Dating is overrated. I usually befriend the girl I wanna pursue. I just never stay friends with her for to long so I won't get into the "friendzone" Sometimes I wish I knew how it was to actually date someone, out of curiosity. You know? first date, all nervous, see how it goes, maybe a kiss in the end, to wait a week before you see one another again, etc etc...
lemonlegs Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I can relate to how you're feeling though I'm not in your exact position. When I was 17, I was still a virgin, in every way, and had never had a boyfriend. I know that this is still very young, but at the same time, I was the only one in my group of friends that had never had a serious boyfriend, had sex, etc. All of my friends put so much emphasis on it and I was left thinking if I was a weirdo for not caring if I ever got a boyfriend. But the thing is you, you just don't know what you're missing. Now that I've had my first boyfriend and am well into my second relationship, I know how awesome having a SO is. Once you get your first girlfriend and have a meaningful relationship with her and it ends, you will be left wondering when your next relationship will be. Of course you can't miss what you've never experienced. If you really don't mind being a potential 30 year old virigin, then hey, hold out as long as you can! 'Cause the heartbreak and turmoil that can come along with dating can definitely be a bitch sometimes.
Author Darren Taylor Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 I wouldn't look to Love Shack as a model for what dating is really like. The board amplifies what is negative about dating. I am in a new relationship and I almost never post a thread on LS about it. Because there's nothing to say. It's going great and no drama whatsoever. I suggest you put yourself out there a little bit if you want to date. It doesn't mean you have to start hit on every woman you see. Maybe if you pay attention to the signals women are sending you, then you'll see more dating possibilities. The act of being open to dating will shift your attitude slightly. And that shift in attitude will help you find dating prospects. If you don't want to date, then don't bother. Enjoy the beach and your friends. I've never really looked for signals. I don't respond to subtle.
zengirl Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I wouldn't look to Love Shack as a model for what dating is really like. Word. I am especially worried about anyone who believes this site is representative of dating and has little/no dating experience.
627 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 To answer your question: No I enjoy dating. There are things you need to know when dating because you are getting to know someone and you have to be kinda cautious. It can be great. So if you are not dating, what do you for fun? fun? please I could buy a boat with all the money I spent, picking a girl from her home, taking her out on a date or 2, and then ending it(from my side or hers) and to me it feels like a job, I'm not naturaly charming... though I am funny, that helps sometimes, but for the most part I have to keep paying attention I don't talk about myself too much, I have to pay attention not to brag, to sit up straight, find a way to start a physical interaction, but not overdoo it, keep reading her body language, knowing when to end a date(and it should not drag and I have a problem with that still...) listen to her talk, act interested, find a way to make intelligent remarks and jokes fun? really?
Author Darren Taylor Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 fun? please I could buy a boat with all the money I spent, picking a girl from her home, taking her out on a date or 2, and then ending it(from my side or hers) and to me it feels like a job, I'm not naturaly charming... though I am funny, that helps sometimes, but for the most part I have to keep paying attention I don't talk about myself too much, I have to pay attention not to brag, to sit up straight, find a way to start a physical interaction, but not overdoo it, keep reading her body language, knowing when to end a date(and it should not drag and I have a problem with that still...) listen to her talk, act interested, find a way to make intelligent remarks and jokes fun? really? I think that's a slight exaggeration.
Imajerk17 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 To many people think that dating comes with a book of set rules. It doesn't. I've never dated, I'm 25yo and I've had 7 RS so far. Non of which started with a date. Hell, In most of my RS I got to bed before ever going out on a date with the chick. Dating is overrated. I usually befriend the girl I wanna pursue. I just never stay friends with her for to long so I won't get into the "friendzone" Sometimes I wish I knew how it was to actually date someone, out of curiosity. You know? first date, all nervous, see how it goes, maybe a kiss in the end, to wait a week before you see one another again, etc etc... It depends on where/how you meet the opposite sex. If you are younger, it tends to be easier to meet women through social circle, where by the time you 'date', it is clear that you are both into each other. If you are older, it tends to be harder, and so you have to meet women through online, cold approach, and so on. And then you have to 'date'. The one rule is to not spend a lot of money until it is clear that you are both into each other.
Disillusioned Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 Uh-oh, everyone---another one who's sick of the dating system! Here's a scary thought... if enough of us "fed-ups" start popping up, we might---gasp!!!---be able to get rid of games and actually start---gasp!!!---meeting people who are right for us! Horrors!!!
orangelady Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 No, because I'm wise enough not to live my life based on other people's negative experiences.
9Lives Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 ]I wouldn't look to Love Shack as a model for what dating is really like. The board amplifies what is negative about dating.[/b] I am in a new relationship and I almost never post a thread on LS about it. Because there's nothing to say. It's going great and no drama whatsoever. I suggest you put yourself out there a little bit if you want to date. It doesn't mean you have to start hit on every woman you see. Maybe if you pay attention to the signals women are sending you, then you'll see more dating possibilities. The act of being open to dating will shift your attitude slightly. And that shift in attitude will help you find dating prospects. If you don't want to date, then don't bother. Enjoy the beach and your friends. Yeah I agree. There is a lot of negativity on the board. There are people on here that are very harsh sometimes. Dating is not that bad. You do have to have standards and watch what you are doing but it can be fun getting to know new people. Dont let this be your model here.
lookingforyou Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 If it ain't broken, why fix it? If you enjoy your life, why bother thinking about what you don't currently have? If I was younger like you and without society pressures, I wouldn't care as much about my relationship status. Enjoy the beach!
Els Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 I don't know about others' experiences, but the majority of the threads here do NOT represent dating for me in any way. These forums are particularly attractive to a particular subset of people, I think and those skew the 'norm' considerably. For me, it was a very natural and free-flowing progression with few rules, and certainly no clash of gender roles.
Author Darren Taylor Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 If it ain't broken, why fix it? If you enjoy your life, why bother thinking about what you don't currently have? If I was younger like you and without society pressures, I wouldn't care as much about my relationship status. Enjoy the beach! Because I actually am starting to get some pressure. People do frequently inquire as to whether I have a girlfriend or not. My mom constantly hints that she wants grandkids(I'm her only child). Being single isn't the problem, the problem is when people expect you to be in a relationship and they give strange looks when I tell them I'm not. And it's definitely nice living by the beach. Even at it's coldest, it's still around 55-60 degrees during the day. We average over 300 days of sunshine per year.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Word. I am especially worried about anyone who believes this site is representative of dating and has little/no dating experience. It just hit me that LS is to real life as porn is to sex -- over the top, full of dysfunction, abuse, and trauma, and far from healthy and normal. It might be time for another LS detox for me.
PhillyDude Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Dating is...................predictable role playing
TuffCookieX Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 A virgin model? Interesting. I'm 22, done a bit of modeling myself, dated a few models, and I can't say I've EVER run across someone in the industry who was CLOSE to being a virgin. In fact, I have to say 99.9% of the people I've met, models and photographers alike are quite the players. Are you gay? Haha kidding. I think it's very admirable. I agree, don't use this board as a source of dating info. The people who are happy with their dating lives aren't going to be posting things here. Mostly because: they aren't looking for advice, and good news is boring news that no one reads on here.
PhillyDude Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 A virgin model? Interesting. I'm 22, done a bit of modeling myself, dated a few models, and I can't say I've EVER run across someone in the industry who was CLOSE to being a virgin. In fact, I have to say 99.9% of the people I've met, models and photographers alike are quite the players. Are you gay? Haha kidding. I think it's very admirable. I agree, don't use this board as a source of dating info. The people who are happy with their dating lives aren't going to be posting things here. Mostly because: they aren't looking for advice, and good news is boring news that no one reads on here. That is so true-lol I like reading negative dating threads because it's more interesting
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