Ilikefun Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I just got home from a 3rd date with a great girl. 1st date we met at a trendy bar and had a couple drinks and some appetizers and had good conversation, date ended with a nice hug. 2nd date I took her to my country club for dinner, went bowling, then went to a bar. We held hands throughout the night and the night ended with a nice kiss. 3rd date tonight we went to a nice Italian restaurant and then to a movie. I asked her tonight when I dropped her off that I couldn't really tell if she was into me and said she likes me but wants to take it slow. I am 100% fine with this but the reason I can't tell is because she really is not a touchy feely type of person at all so far. Now keep in mind, I am not an aggressive guy at all. I initiated the hand holding and kiss on the 2nd date and it was helped by a few drinks giving me the confidence to do so. Tonight at the movie, I kind of expected her to grab my hand to hold at some point but it never happened and I didn't initiate anything at all. It is truly amazing how much we have in common. Our interests are very similar and we share a lot of the same beliefs, religion, etc and every date including tonight had a lot of smiling, laughing, etc. My concern is that every girl I've ever dated before became comfortable initiating contact after I did it for the first time but its not happening so far with this girl. Is this normal? I'm really confused as I don't want to give up on the girl as I really like her and even told her so. And I also don't want to continue initiating contact/kissing and make her uncomfortable since she wants to go slow, especially since I'm not totally sure she's into me. Sorry for the rambling on, but any advice is greatly appreciated!
orangelady Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Honestly, as a girl, if I'm into the guy, I would definitely not say I want to take it slow. I don't know her, so I can't say for sure what she's thinking. If she says take it slow, maybe you could ask her "How do you want to take it slow?" Sometimes girls don't want to blatantly say "I'm not into you" so they'll come up with other excuses like this one, but again, we're not sure, and you're not sure too. So it's best to be direct. You don't want to waste your time either and get hurt in the long run just because she was being 'nice.'
Author Ilikefun Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 Honestly, as a girl, if I'm into the guy, I would definitely not say I want to take it slow. I don't know her, so I can't say for sure what she's thinking. If she says take it slow, maybe you could ask her "How do you want to take it slow?" Sometimes girls don't want to blatantly say "I'm not into you" so they'll come up with other excuses like this one, but again, we're not sure, and you're not sure too. So it's best to be direct. You don't want to waste your time either and get hurt in the long run just because she was being 'nice.' thanks for your input. i forgot to mention that i did directly say to her that i couldn't tell if she liked me or not and if she didn't, i wouldn't be offended or upset if she didn't want to see me again and that's when she said she does like me but wants to take things slow. She almost looked embarrassed when I asked her like "of course, i like you!" and in my head I was thinking "well how would i possibly know since you don't show affection??". I should have maybe added that I think this girl is ultra conservative and traditional in a sense so the taking it slow doesn't surprise me but i have no way of telling what she's comfortable with. Should I just ask her that?
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