Ross MwcFan Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 I think anyone with an SO is extremely lucky. Anyway, there's no need to feel down, as you said the other half of girls on the trip don't have anyone, so it's not like you'll be on your own.
welikeincrowds Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 I miss my girl friends at home and plan to indulge myself completely when I go home in a week. I miss our girl's night, late night wine sessions, board games and gossip. I miss their advice and gentleness. How much they care about what's going on with you. And to have someone to cry to when SO is being a dick.Is it sad that I want this too? ...Not all the time, just sometimes, and I don't need to cry, really. Oh ****ing hell, I need to find some women to befriend. It's just as hard as dating, if not harder. Plus they'll never let me into girl's night. Also, do women ever get into that weird thing where it's like you have to "ask out" your new friend? Where there's someone you know of by proximity and want to be friends with because think you'd get along, but you have to kick-start the friendship somehow? It's happened to me before and it's weird, it's a bit like dating in that way.
Els Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 Is it sad that I want this too? ...Not all the time, just sometimes, and I don't need to cry, really. Oh ****ing hell, I need to find some women to befriend. It's just as hard as dating, if not harder. Plus they'll never let me into girl's night. Also, do women ever get into that weird thing where it's like you have to "ask out" your new friend? Where there's someone you know of by proximity and want to be friends with because think you'd get along, but you have to kick-start the friendship somehow? It's happened to me before and it's weird, it's a bit like dating in that way. I don't know, to be honest. The few great female friends I have were mostly made in grade school or high school, when we were all kids. I haven't formed a strong and lasting friendship with an adult woman before. I've made a few that I thought were good only to realize in some way or another that they didn't actually give a damn about me.
Author sayitasitis Posted April 24, 2011 Author Posted April 24, 2011 I think anyone with an SO is extremely lucky. Anyway, there's no need to feel down, as you said the other half of girls on the trip don't have anyone, so it's not like you'll be on your own. It's not so much how many of the others on the trip are single. It's the bigger picture. As independent as I am, I'm tired of doing things alone.
Author sayitasitis Posted April 24, 2011 Author Posted April 24, 2011 Is it sad that I want this too? ...Not all the time, just sometimes, and I don't need to cry, really. Oh ****ing hell, I need to find some women to befriend. It's just as hard as dating, if not harder. Plus they'll never let me into girl's night. Also, do women ever get into that weird thing where it's like you have to "ask out" your new friend? Where there's someone you know of by proximity and want to be friends with because think you'd get along, but you have to kick-start the friendship somehow? It's happened to me before and it's weird, it's a bit like dating in that way. It's rarely occured to me about this. I've always had female friends and it's so easy to me. I really want to find it as easy finding SOs as I make girl friends. I don't always find girl friends I click with. I'm quite fussy about who I spend time with but I have no problem asking a girl friend out. We all need friends.
SmileFace Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 Ha, it is kind of messed up when you are known as the known third wheel. I don't live close to any of my close female friends anymore but there was a time when I was the known third wheel. From the times I was single until the times I only had FWB. I never experienced double dates, or anything of the nature. I was kind of happy when I did move away so I didn't have to deal with the head on pressure. I never really felt jealous, since at those times I wasn't looking for a S.O and plus all the complaints about their relationships kept me from wanting one. I was to happy doing my own thing.
Author sayitasitis Posted April 24, 2011 Author Posted April 24, 2011 Ha, it is kind of messed up when you are known as the known third wheel. I don't live close to any of my close female friends anymore but there was a time when I was the known third wheel. From the times I was single until the times I only had FWB. I never experienced double dates, or anything of the nature. I was kind of happy when I did move away so I didn't have to deal with the head on pressure. I never really felt jealous, since at those times I wasn't looking for a S.O and plus all the complaints about their relationships kept me from wanting one. I was to happy doing my own thing. My couple friends are sweet. They would include me in dinners where I'm the only single person. They probably don't think about it or they just want my company. But it makes me uncomfortable being the 3rd or the 11th wheel.
SmileFace Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 My couple friends are sweet. They would include me in dinners where I'm the only single person. They probably don't think about it or they just want my company. But it makes me uncomfortable being the 3rd or the 11th wheel. My friends always included me, but I always turned down. Even my prom date was just my best friend' boyfriend's best friend , me and him were friends but we only went togother as both third wheels. When my bestfriend was single ,we ended up the third "couple" to my two other friends and their boyfriends, which was fine. However, I missed out on many stuff being single.
Author sayitasitis Posted April 24, 2011 Author Posted April 24, 2011 My friends always included me, but I always turned down. Even my prom date was just my best friend' boyfriend's best friend , me and him were friends but we only went togother as both third wheels. When my bestfriend was single ,we ended up the third "couple" to my two other friends and their boyfriends, which was fine. However, I missed out on many stuff being single. I'm not sure I miss out on things being single. I'm just tired of being single and I'm ready to do couple things.
MissJoness Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 I would love to have friends and an S/O. But in my life, I was not blessed with the opportunity to meet good and loyal friends. I had the kind that got jealous anytime their best friend got a boyfriend, therefore the friendship ended because of that; and then I had others that completely forgot all about me once they found somebody. I do find S/Os to be much more loyal because with friends, once their lives change--marriage, children--you can't hang out as much as you used to. And friends can be just downright flakey anyway
Author sayitasitis Posted April 25, 2011 Author Posted April 25, 2011 I would love to have friends and an S/O. But in my life, I was not blessed with the opportunity to meet good and loyal friends. I had the kind that got jealous anytime their best friend got a boyfriend, therefore the friendship ended because of that; and then I had others that completely forgot all about me once they found somebody. I do find S/Os to be much more loyal because with friends, once their lives change--marriage, children--you can't hang out as much as you used to. And friends can be just downright flakey anyway I have to agree. One of my best friends married a few years ago. Now she's not the first person I go to with relationship or dating problems because whenever I've done it after she got married, she doesn't seem to have the same empathy in her anymore. In the past we would be able to understand what each other was going through. For me, I have had SOs come and go. My best friends are still there (knock on wood), even if some of them are less empathetic.
angielove Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 I don't have a SO. I have one very close guy friend, who is like a brother to me. I have a very close family - my parents and my two sisters. I have three girl friends who I see occasionally (about once a month) but they don't know each other so it' not a group situation. I'm not that close with those girls - they all have their own group of friends and/or families. We just hang out, go shopping, go dancing etc but I never feel very connected to them. I am so jealous of girls who belong to a group of friends. I wish I had that. It's easy for me to make friends with individual girls, but I never become part of a group. I just don't know how to go about doing that. Right now, I would much rather a group of girlfriends over a SO. Whenever I watch Sex and the City I get so upset about it lol!
Author sayitasitis Posted April 25, 2011 Author Posted April 25, 2011 I don't have a SO. I have one very close guy friend, who is like a brother to me. I have a very close family - my parents and my two sisters. I have three girl friends who I see occasionally (about once a month) but they don't know each other so it' not a group situation. I'm not that close with those girls - they all have their own group of friends and/or families. We just hang out, go shopping, go dancing etc but I never feel very connected to them. I am so jealous of girls who belong to a group of friends. I wish I had that. It's easy for me to make friends with individual girls, but I never become part of a group. I just don't know how to go about doing that. Right now, I would much rather a group of girlfriends over a SO. Whenever I watch Sex and the City I get so upset about it lol! I have individual female friends and girl friends in groups. Girl friends in groups may not be a bed of roses because it can be quite bitchy and when things don't go nicely between some of them, you end up having to take sides. And most of the times I'm not close to everyone in the group but some of them. I guess the same can be said in a relationship. It's not all rosy but we still want it.
Stung Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 I've never been a fan of big groups of friends; at times I've actually taken steps to make sure that my friendships were kept separate from each other. I much prefer one-on-one bonding, and deliberately left big group gatherings behind with college. Now I wonder if that was a bit of a mistake, as so many of my friends have moved across the country or to Europe/South America and there are only a few left in a nearby city, and they all have kids of their own and usually only have time to go out once in a while, and usually end up going with their group locally and having a big girls night. When I do see them, it's usually more like a Play Date because all our kids are along---which is nice, too, but not exactly relaxing adult time. My best gay friend is still thinking about moving to this island and he came to visit last week and is coming again next week. My fingers are crossed so hard. I'm sooo tired of having a social life that consists of my in-laws, email, and Mommy and Me.
MissJoness Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 I'm not a fan of girl groups either, it looks really good from the outside looking in when you're hanging out-- but that's where it ends. Usually, there's no room for individuality, there's a lot of peer pressure to conform to what others in the group are doing. And then there's the potential for someone in the group to not like you for the most petty reason and try to turn others against you. I prefer a good handful of friends that I hang out with individually and if there is a group no more than 3 of us all together.
Author sayitasitis Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 I've never been a fan of big groups of friends; at times I've actually taken steps to make sure that my friendships were kept separate from each other. I much prefer one-on-one bonding, and deliberately left big group gatherings behind with college. Now I wonder if that was a bit of a mistake, as so many of my friends have moved across the country or to Europe/South America and there are only a few left in a nearby city, and they all have kids of their own and usually only have time to go out once in a while, and usually end up going with their group locally and having a big girls night. When I do see them, it's usually more like a Play Date because all our kids are along---which is nice, too, but not exactly relaxing adult time. My best gay friend is still thinking about moving to this island and he came to visit last week and is coming again next week. My fingers are crossed so hard. I'm sooo tired of having a social life that consists of my in-laws, email, and Mommy and Me. I'm in a different place to where I was born. But it doesn't make me miss home because my friends have either left or they've moved on (i.e. got married). Where I am now, friends come and go because of work or other reasons. I've learned to keep making new friends though it gets tiring. I'm not a fan of girl groups either, it looks really good from the outside looking in when you're hanging out-- but that's where it ends. Usually, there's no room for individuality, there's a lot of peer pressure to conform to what others in the group are doing. And then there's the potential for someone in the group to not like you for the most petty reason and try to turn others against you. I prefer a good handful of friends that I hang out with individually and if there is a group no more than 3 of us all together. Sex and the City isn't a real portrayal of life.
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