Lecturer Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 Sounds more like choosing between your father and your boyfriend. In which case, the choice is obvious.
Memphis Raines Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 hello, I am seeking advice from outside point of view. Though I have heard advise from my close friends I still am confused and LOST. my guess is because your friends are telling you that which you do not want to hear. I have been married for 5+ years NO kids no kids? then its easy, you can still get an annullment and set your husband free from you. My Husband: My husband is an attractive and good hearted man with actions that speak louder than words. He is a man of little words and together we are great partners. He owns a company that is growing and is the financial leader in the household, although we both are independent. I work with his company and have built it up to be more organized- incorporated it. I love him and he is my only family I have. His family is my family and he is my rock/base foundation. He had a helping hand in me continuing my education towards my masters. He has been always true and faithful, working 24/7 to build a better future. I have made him cry by attempting to leave him, and he has always grabbed me before I can leave with my packed bags. Our sexual relationship from the beginning has not been good. then why did you marry him? oh wait, that whole good job and stability thing I warned my husband that I would look elsewhere if not dealt with. thats when he should have dumped you on your arse most expeditiously. you don't tell someone you love that. a better option would have been to tell him that you want a divorce if things don't change. all you did was drop an ultimatum that says, "I'm a cheater and I will cheat if you don't do exactly as I want". and my dear, who the hell would want someone like that? 4 years into our marriage, I met my EX again... whom is now my secret boyfriend don't make it a secret any longer. divorce your husband and openly date your "bf". My Boyfriend: ok, you can stop there, we don't give a crap about your bf. except to know that he is a pig to bed down someone elses wife. I know my friends have told me go with my husband because I would technically have a better and easier future. yup, I told you your friends told you what you don't want to hear. But I am able to take care of myself and is wealth happiness? no! Get an annullment, leave him his wealth, and start a new life with the other guy. Because its clearly your husbands stability that keeps you around, and that isn't fair to him, as if cheating was already very unfair to him. So do your husband a favor, get an annullment. I have made both of them shed tears for me and Its hard to see who loves me most. oh, so thats what you want? To see who is the bigger sap for you? so this is a competition to see who will fight for a cheater? oh, for the love of pete, divorce your husband so he can move on with his life. I WISH I COULD JUST PUT THEM TOGETHER AS ONE MAN... and if you could, the resultant man wouldn't have what they need in a wife. Who would you choose for me? anyone but your husband, so I guess that means the secret boyfriend. You two are made for each other, cut from the same mold. Your husband deserves better and deserves to move on with his life. I love them both why can't I have two. first of all, no, you don't love both of them because you don't cheat on someone you love. secondly, why can't you have two? are you serious? maybe you should choose neither because maybe you need to be alone for a while until you mature. I can't handle this, I am a terrible person for this, sometimes I think both can have better than me. no, just your husand deserves better. Please give me sound advice and not that of vulgar words. no vulgar words here. but sound advice is your husband deserves better than what you are doing to him. so get an annullment, do not lay claim to anything of his, and move on. Be with the guy that has no misgivings about sleeping with someone elses wife. You'll be a perfect match.
TMCM Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 She? - if it doesn't turn out to be a 14 year old pimple faced punk - is probably laughing 'her' a** off at the way 'she' rattled the posters cages.
dsd85 Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 i'm in the same boat. only difference if my boyfriend of 6 years and i aren't married.i wish i could put my old friend who i reconnected with and my long term boyfriend into one person. i just can't find it in me to leave my boyfriend of 6 years. even though the new guy has a better future ahead of him and is really good to me. i've been cheating on them both for 8 months and it's the worst feeling. i really hope you make the right decision.
bentnotbroken Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 i'm in the same boat. only difference if my boyfriend of 6 years and i aren't married.i wish i could put my old friend who i reconnected with and my long term boyfriend into one person. i just can't find it in me to leave my boyfriend of 6 years. even though the new guy has a better future ahead of him and is really good to me. i've been cheating on them both for 8 months and it's the worst feeling. i really hope you make the right decision. Not "worst" enough for you to stop. If you stick your hand in fire and it hurts, you remove your hand from the fire. Most people tend not to repeat the process.
whammy Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 this what i heard you say: "me me me me me money money money money. myself over others. I dont care who i hurt as long as I have my thrills. me me me me money money money. easy life easy life easy life, im a liar im a liar im a liar. me me me me. i use people that love me i use the people that love me. me me me me money money money. I dont care about anything except myself, money, having a easy life, getting taken care of, and instant gratification." and people like you always choose the "you not perfect either" argument. But the fact is (speaking for myself) I am perfect. Compared to you it is easy to be perfect. choosing to do the right thing every second of every day is perfect..and thats what I do. thats what ALOT of people. so yes they are perfect...stop assuming that everyone else is a selfish as you when you defend your self. Why dont you chose to do the right thing? have you ever? I am not trying to bash you but I want to challenge you? its obvious that you are DOING the wrong thing. so why dont you do the right thing ever? why? the answer is because you are incredible selfish. I actually blame your husband for this. I guarantee there were warning signs of your selfishness that he chose to ignore when he married you. So this is his fault...he never should have married you. no man should ever marry a woman like you...but he is about to find out the hard way.
whammy Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 An old friend once enlightened me on the concept of 'doing' and 'being'. When you're cheating, lying, betraying, using and deceiving, you are doing bad things. You are hurting others for your own self gain. Is that the definition of a bad person, or a good person doing bad things? Injecting normal, everyday activities like working or feeding your child doesn't tip the scales in your favor...at best, it's only slowing down the eventual, unhappy outcome. The slope is slippery. Don't do honest things, be honest. Don't do kind things for others, be kind. The grease that lubricates the destruction of one's character, a marriage or a family unit is justification. It's a trap. Don't fall for it. You ARE what you do. you cant do bad things and be say your a good person. you actions and choose are everything that you are.
PollyIvy Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Here's what I think: 1. You are very young, and adventurous, and your marriage is stifling you. 2. You are a narcissist, and need to be adored. 3. You feel very unfulfilled in your marriage, and are trying to satisfy your need to feel loved and appreciated outside your marriage. You speak well of your husband, but how does he make you feel? Is he much older than you?
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