irc333 Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Okay, with the last thread about "who foots the bill". I would think this would be based on the level of interest in the woman. 1. Woman let's the man pay the bill = mean she's interested in him romantically 2. Going dutch or offers to pay her half = means she's not interested (and you both move on) 3. Of course, she'd let's the man pay, but has no interest and enjoys the free meal though. But, of course, there's no way to tell how the date turns out. Perhaps it doesn't matter either way? Of course, it might not mean anything at all, just a theory.
J200 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I'll copy and paste what I wrote in the other thread I am a woman and I like splitting the bill in HALF to the penny; even it is the man of my dreams! I hate this myth that women will only pay if they don't like the guy. I LOVE to pay even MORE when I am infatuated with a guy. I make good $; I don't need a penny from anyone. Not even a $1 drink or a $3 burger from In N Out (I don't remember the exact price but it's not exactly $3 but somewhere around there for a cheeseburger). I am so independent I moved out at 18 and never accepted a PENNY from my parents. I despise kids who have their parents pay for their college education or even help them buy a house...WTF. I was alone at 18 and super independent. Money is power. Feminism is having EQUAL FINANCIAL power. I would feel like a loser and want to commit suicide if some guy paid for me all the time; how embarrassing and humiliating to consider myself the "fairer sex". I am not one of those women who earn less than men and need a handout. In many cases I outearn men. I outearned my ex by many, many times. I don't need charity; I don't expect a free meal (even if it's a $3 cheeseburger) just because I have a vagina and wear heels... WTF I look DOWN on women who expect men to pay. I am also EXTREMELY modern and NON TRADITIONAL. ------------------------------------------------------- Why is not classy if a woman offers to pay for a man? Why is that not class? Why does it have to be the man paying for the woman? Wouldn't it show class if the guy accepted me paying? Why can't the guy be gracious and accept me paying? Why do I have to be the gracious one? I think the GUY should be gracious and let ME pay. How about that? I am sick of this crap about women always having to be gracious all the time; makes my blood boil. Let the guy be gracious for ones and ALLOW ME TO PAY. ----------------------------------------------------------- I will insist on paying (EVEN MORE SO) if it were Taylor Lautner himself. I love paying even MORE when I am REALLY into a guy.
J200 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 A guy who will let me pay is more likely to get me in bed than one who insists on paying. I don't like a guy trying to tell me what to do or trying to assert his "power" over me. Be easy going, let me pay and you are more likely to get lucky.
Jazzari Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Okay, with the last thread about "who foots the bill". I would think this would be based on the level of interest in the woman. 1. Woman let's the man pay the bill = mean she's interested in him romantically 2. Going dutch or offers to pay her half = means she's not interested (and you both move on) 3. Of course, she'd let's the man pay, but has no interest and enjoys the free meal though. But, of course, there's no way to tell how the date turns out. Perhaps it doesn't matter either way? Of course, it might not mean anything at all, just a theory.I agree with #1 and #2. My boyfriend has taken me to several expensive places and paid for it all. I would never agree to that if I wasn't crazy about him.
J200 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I agree with #1 and #2. My boyfriend has taken me to several expensive places and paid for it all. I would never agree to that if I wasn't crazy about him. I am different; when I am CRAZY about a guy I will want to pay for him; buy him things, spoil him... Not have him pay for me; I hate it when ANYONE pays for me (not just guys). When I was a child I HATED getting presents; I just don't like it at all!
xpaperxcutx Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 A guy offering to pay hardly constitutes that he'll get a second date, but he does win point in regards to being generous. At the end of the night, a woman still needs to evaluate whether a guy is worth a second date- which really has to do with personality, physical attraction, and chemistry.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I am different; when I am CRAZY about a guy I will want to pay for him; buy him things, spoil him... Not have him pay for me; I hate it when ANYONE pays for me (not just guys). When I was a child I HATED getting presents; I just don't like it at all! If you're trying to proclaim your feminism, there are other ways of going about it without spewing it in caps. It's called tact and now I know you're trolling.
Jazzari Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I am different; when I am CRAZY about a guy I will want to pay for him; buy him things, spoil him... Not have him pay for me; I hate it when ANYONE pays for me (not just guys). When I was a child I HATED getting presents; I just don't like it at all! I can see wanting to do things for the man you love. Unfortunately, not all of us are financially able to do that. And when you date a guy who is able to buy anything he wants, then showing your love in ways that are non-financial is much more appreciated anyway.
Arikel Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I can see wanting to do things for the man you love. Unfortunately, not all of us are financially able to do that. And when you date a guy who is able to buy anything he wants, then showing your love in ways that are non-financial is much more appreciated anyway. I agree with you Jazzari! It IS hard having to be so creative at times though
Star Gazer Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Okay, with the last thread about "who foots the bill". I would think this would be based on the level of interest in the woman. 1. Woman let's the man pay the bill = mean she's interested in him romantically 2. Going dutch or offers to pay her half = means she's not interested (and you both move on) 3. Of course, she'd let's the man pay, but has no interest and enjoys the free meal though. But, of course, there's no way to tell how the date turns out. Perhaps it doesn't matter either way? I don't really agree with how you've categorized this. In the first 1-2 dates, I'd put it like this: 1. Woman allows man to pay and makes no offer to chip in = Woman is either interested and traditional or he previously explicitly indicated it was his treat, or freeloading. 2. Woman offers to pay/split, but he refuses and pays the entire bill = woman is interested. 3. Woman offers to pay/split, and he accepts and lets her pay/split = woman was interested, but may have lost interest based on his acceptance. 4. Woman insists on splitting = Woman is either interested and wants to be equal, or woman is not interested at all. 5. Woman insists on paying for entire bill = Woman is not interested. In summary, your best shot is with a woman who she offers to pay/split but you don't let her.
J200 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 If you're trying to proclaim your feminism, there are other ways of going about it without spewing it in caps. It's called tact and now I know you're trolling. You don't know the first thing about me. If you knew me; you would know I'm even more of a hardass about paying in real-life then I come across on the boards.
J200 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 If you're trying to proclaim your feminism, there are other ways of going about it without spewing it in caps. It's called tact and now I know you're trolling. I am not the most tactful person and social graces are not important to me; making a statement about my ability to pay is more important than me then doing what society feels is acceptable. Proving a point is more important to me.
Star Gazer Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I am not the most tactful person and social graces are not important to me... Proving a point is more important to me. That's pretty obvious.
mogul Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I am not the most tactful person and social graces are not important to me; making a statement about my ability to pay is more important than me then doing what society feels is acceptable. Proving a point is more important to me. Classy.
mogul Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I am so independent I moved out at 18 and never accepted a PENNY from my parents. I despise kids who have their parents pay for their college education or even help them buy a house...WTF. I was alone at 18 and super independent. I am not one of those women who earn less than men and need a handout. In many cases I outearn men. I outearned my ex by many, many times. I don't need charity; I don't expect a free meal (even if it's a $3 cheeseburger) just because I have a vagina and wear heels... WTF I look DOWN on women who expect men to pay. I am also EXTREMELY modern and NON TRADITIONAL. . Hmm, strong opinion on this topic? It is great and all that you were independent at 18. However, if other's parents are fortunate enough to provide and give their offspring the best, why not? I am one of those "kids" you despise. No longer a kid, but my parents were willing to put me through 4 years at a private university prior to me withdrawing after my first quarter to pursue other opportunities. Also, my parents and I are working on purchasing an investment property. So yes, they in essence are "helping me buy a house". However, I am the person I am today because of all this. I appreciate them for everything they have done. I don't need their help financially and am doing quite well for myself. Were your parents in a position to help you financially, or just did not care? When I have kids of my own, I fully intend on giving them the best and helping them out in all aspects of their life. Financially amongst other things. The purpose of money is to better your life, make you happy, and help others in need. If you are financially able and refuse to put your children through college, I don't know what does it for you. Back on topic, a woman that insists on paying the bill is refreshing if she does it in a cute way. If she is absolutely adamant about it, it will weird me out. Like others have said, there are other ways to prove you are independent other than who picks up the bill. Amongst friends, I will actually be insulted if they don't let me pay at times. I don't like dealing with money with friends, family and in relationships. With friends, we alternate paying without having to say it. Much like doing rounds of drinks on nights out. In the dating and beginning phases of a relationship, I will always insist on paying. As it progresses and gets serious after a certain point, money isn't even a topic and we'll alternate randomly with me still paying the majority.
Author irc333 Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 Never had a woman offer to pay or split, she just let me pay.
Sarabina Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 @ J200 you are like my freakin twin (in regards to this). I also hate it when someone pays for me or buys me things (unless it is my birthday or some other special occasion). I would always insist on splitting the bill, and if a guy doesn't like that than he can go **** himself. I don't need a man treating me like a Princess, I am a grown women and I can pay my own bills. Why do men not llike it when a women insists on paying - does it make you feel less manly?
J200 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 @ J200 Why do men not llike it when a women insists on paying - does it make you feel less manly? I think so; I think men like to pay so they can feel powerful and feel like they have clout over us or perhaps in the hopes that we will owe them something. And some men like to pay (they insist on it) just so they can turn around and then label us women gold diggers and say we all want rich men etc... just so they can have something to bitch about. But when we pay they feel emasculated; they can't bear the thought of a woman as successful as they are. They want to pay so they can feel more powerful and superior. It could be some want to pay because they are nice and just feel like offering but I still don't like it. I'm not a baby or a child; I can pay for myself.
Jazzari Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Doing something nice for someone doesn't mean they can't do it themselves. It isn't treating them like a baby or child. Don't you ever do something nice for a man? Are you treating them like a baby when you do? Trying to gain power over them? Out of curiousity, would you ever let a girlfriend pay for lunch? Are you this defensive with everyone or just men?
J200 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Out of curiousity, would you ever let a girlfriend pay for lunch? Are you this defensive with everyone or just men? I prefer to split half with friends and my aunt. I am this way with everyone but to be probably more so with men.
Tayla Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 J200- I follow the ideology of paying ones own way in life. In life though its true that being gracious involves "accepting" kind acts of generosity with no strings attached. This is where I differ from you. A Lady and an adult can have the wisdom to know when to accept a gracious act and when to stand on principle of paying ones own way. I sense for you money means power. I hope you'll be a wee bit more lenient as time goes on in life, there really are good folks of both genders that can have no other intentions other then to be gracious. I can respect anyone who wants to pay their way thru life, and I can respect generosity when its graciously offered. Try that sometime , you'd be surprised that some folks really are genuine in kindness.
Jazzari Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 J200- I follow the ideology of paying ones own way in life. In life though its true that being gracious involves "accepting" kind acts of generosity with no strings attached. This is where I differ from you. A Lady and an adult can have the wisdom to know when to accept a gracious act and when to stand on principle of paying ones own way. I sense for you money means power. I hope you'll be a wee bit more lenient as time goes on in life, there really are good folks of both genders that can have no other intentions other then to be gracious. I can respect anyone who wants to pay their way thru life, and I can respect generosity when its graciously offered. Try that sometime , you'd be surprised that some folks really are genuine in kindness. That was really well said, Tayla.
Star Gazer Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 J200- I follow the ideology of paying ones own way in life. In life though its true that being gracious involves "accepting" kind acts of generosity with no strings attached. This is where I differ from you. A Lady and an adult can have the wisdom to know when to accept a gracious act and when to stand on principle of paying ones own way. I sense for you money means power. I hope you'll be a wee bit more lenient as time goes on in life, there really are good folks of both genders that can have no other intentions other then to be gracious. I can respect anyone who wants to pay their way thru life, and I can respect generosity when its graciously offered. Try that sometime , you'd be surprised that some folks really are genuine in kindness. :love:
Author irc333 Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 I met a woman that is of the old-fashioned traditional variety where she believes a man should foot the bill for dinner or the date in general, othewise to her, it's like two "buddies" hanging' out and there's nothing romantic about that. She let's the man be the man, and she'll be the lady she is to him. From her culture, it's just old-fashioned gender roles. And I'm not entirely against that, because I'm old-fashioned, too. I think so; I think men like to pay so they can feel powerful and feel like they have clout over us or perhaps in the hopes that we will owe them something. And some men like to pay (they insist on it) just so they can turn around and then label us women gold diggers and say we all want rich men etc... just so they can have something to bitch about. But when we pay they feel emasculated; they can't bear the thought of a woman as successful as they are. They want to pay so they can feel more powerful and superior. It could be some want to pay because they are nice and just feel like offering but I still don't like it. I'm not a baby or a child; I can pay for myself.
J200 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I met a woman that is of the old-fashioned traditional variety where she believes a man should foot the bill for dinner or the date in general, othewise to her, it's like two "buddies" hanging' out and there's nothing romantic about that. She let's the man be the man, and she'll be the lady she is to him. From her culture, it's just old-fashioned gender roles. And I'm not entirely against that, because I'm old-fashioned, too. You want to know my culture? I'm Asian and I'm a feminist and non-traditionalist... I don't believe in traditional gender roles at all. Tayla, I can understand that sometimes it's important to accept a gift to be gracious but I don't think most guys on dates (dating stage, not bf yet) are paying to be gracious. They are either doing it because they were raised to do or because they are trying to get laid. They are paying because they feel it's their duty to do so as a male and trying to meet many women; not to show generosity. I don't like the "princess" mentality that a lot of women seem to have. I also would never date a guy who was much wealthier than me and let him pay for expensive dinners; it's just very "typical female" princess like behavior or traditional to accept expensive dinners and then paying him back by doing "sweet" things. It just makes me gag.
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