TomerT Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Hi all, Today at 8am I really accidentally glanced on my phone and in this really moment I saw my phone receiving a call from my ex cheating girlfriend. Long story short - she cheated on me (how did I know you may wonder - simply she came pregnant from vacation with her x-bf)...Since then I didn't see her even once, we only talked once (few days after I got know) and then total NC. She tried to call two times - but I ignored. Today she called, luckily for me (or not) she is my block list and was automatically disconnected. I even not sure if there is some question in my post...But what the hell she wanted ? I loved her like crazy - she was everything for me. I was very angry at her, at my self...but now I really over her and live peacefully and happily, dating others....Of course I still remember her and miss..but probably not her, but the person I thought she was.... What the hell she wanted ? I even not sure if she kept her baby (she mentioned abortion to me when we talked then)...There is no way we are coming back...But frankly, I am a little bit "happy" and in the same time pissed by her call. Just needed to "vent". Thanks for reading and any comments will be appreciated.
Bryanp Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 My guess is that the boyfriend dumped her and she is looking to connect with anybody.
wicked_angelbaby Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Hi all, Today at 8am I really accidentally glanced on my phone and in this really moment I saw my phone receiving a call from my ex cheating girlfriend. Long story short - she cheated on me (how did I know you may wonder - simply she came pregnant from vacation with her x-bf)...Since then I didn't see her even once, we only talked once (few days after I got know) and then total NC. She tried to call two times - but I ignored. Today she called, luckily for me (or not) she is my block list and was automatically disconnected. I even not sure if there is some question in my post...But what the hell she wanted ? I loved her like crazy - she was everything for me. I was very angry at her, at my self...but now I really over her and live peacefully and happily, dating others....Of course I still remember her and miss..but probably not her, but the person I thought she was.... What the hell she wanted ? I even not sure if she kept her baby (she mentioned abortion to me when we talked then)...There is no way we are coming back...But frankly, I am a little bit "happy" and in the same time pissed by her call. Just needed to "vent". Thanks for reading and any comments will be appreciated. did you forgive and forget? As a cheater myself, have you ever thought she still loved you and knew her wrong. Yes cheating is wrong but if you loved her you would still be there at those moments of need. Or just forget her and that will be easier on your heart
ComputerJock Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Has she had her baby and is she looking for a daddy?
Author TomerT Posted April 24, 2011 Author Posted April 24, 2011 did you forgive and forget? As a cheater myself, have you ever thought she still loved you and knew her wrong. Yes cheating is wrong but if you loved her you would still be there at those moments of need. Or just forget her and that will be easier on your heart I loved her with all my heart - no doubt about it. BUT I a m not a masochist. I also need to protect myself from being hurt, amn't I ?
Author TomerT Posted April 24, 2011 Author Posted April 24, 2011 (edited) She isn't worth it and you need to realize that it is over. You even have a post started on here saying that you would be happy being plan B. Do whatever you need to do to gain some self-confidence and get over her Thanks man. Please have no doubt, I am completely over her...I happily date others...I have no intention whatsoever to be back with her...even only for s.x I find her repulsive (and once I considered her to be the most sexiest and beautiful girl...funny, ha ? )... I just pissed...What did she want to hear from me ? What did she want to say ? When was she when I needed her the most (I was crying like a baby for 3 months...almost stopped my University studies cause of what happened. I couldn't sleep for many weeks...) Where was she ? Now she is calling ? The most I can do for her - is to listen to her sincere apology...but even for this I want her to try harder than just randomly calling me...She knows how to find me if she really wants to... P.S. me, saying want to be plan B...hm..really don't remember this...but I believe you - I was thinking no clearly, clearly Edited April 24, 2011 by TomerT
ver13 Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 did you forgive and forget? As a cheater myself, have you ever thought she still loved you and knew her wrong. Yes cheating is wrong but if you loved her you would still be there at those moments of need. Or just forget her and that will be easier on your heart As a cheater yourself then you should know that this is a self serving attempt for some outlandish reason. As for the part about love, how can you even say this without any remorse for what this person has gone thru. Come on preg from some other guy and I'm supposed to have your back, I don't think so!!!
melenkurion Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Yes cheating is wrong but if you loved her you would still be there at those moments of need. I don't agree. There comes a point where no matter how much you once loved someone, you have to take care of yourself first. I genuinely loved my ex, I'm as sure of that as I can be of anything. But he hurt me so cruelly with the cheating, the lying and the plain nastiness that I cannot let him into my life ever again, no matter what happens to him. It would be destructive to me. That chapter of my life is over. I didn't choose to end it, but I won't go back.
seibert253 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Becoming pregenant by the other guy, well IMO that's the point of no return. No recovering from that. You've moved on, she's gone. Keep it that way.
Author TomerT Posted June 9, 2011 Author Posted June 9, 2011 She just called again...twice... I didn't pick up...I have nothing to say to her and have no interest to hear what is going on in her life...If her life is good - I am happy for her and always wished her good, if her life is bad - there is nothing I can do about it right now. If she has something really important to say me - she easily can find a way to make sure I receive her message. Is my reasoning "reasonable" ? Still, to be honest, "I am dying" to know what was a real reason for her finally contact me. It could be much easier to send me a sms or an email, still she decided to call... I wonder why ? P.S. I have noticed, the more she is trying to reach me - the more distant and "stranger" she become to me. Until recently I really missed her a lot, but she actually helping me with my recovery.
reservoirdog1 Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 did you forgive and forget? As a cheater myself, have you ever thought she still loved you and knew her wrong. Yes cheating is wrong but if you loved her you would still be there at those moments of need. Or just forget her and that will be easier on your heart Typical self-serving comment, said from the perspective of the cheater. Your views would be a little bit different if you were the betrayed, rather than the betrayer. You clearly have no idea what it feels like to be on the receiving end. One moment you're secure in your relationship, and then in a heartbeat, your world is turned upside down and you learn that you can't trust the person you had more faith in than anybody. It's a crippling body blow. Suddenly, everything you trusted in is suspect. It's no wonder that so many betrayed partners feel, for the first while, like they're going crazy. Betraying one's partner is pretty much the worst thing it's possible to do to somebody that doesn't carry criminal consequences. A couple of months after XW and I split (her serial cheating came out, and we split because she didn't want to work to try to fix the marriage), I remember she said to me in an email, commenting on my attitude towards her since the split (not very friendly, not wanting to have to interact with her), "love gives, it doesn't just take." Coming from the mouth of the Grand Bull Goose Winner in the Taking category.
freestyle Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 She's showing zero regard for your feelings by rattling your cage like she has been. It doesn't matter what her motivations for calling you are. If she had any clue about how much pain she put you through---she would take the time to write a letter --ONCE--showing genuine remorse for her actions, and ASKING YOUR PERMISSION to call you. And then she would leave the ball in your court,allowing you to decide whether or not to have any contact. Not getting a response from you should be a clue to her to just leave you alone, and allow you to heal. Calling repeatedly, when you're not responding, is very disrespectful and thoughtless on her part, as far as I'm concerned. It smacks of self-serving behavior. As if you need to be continually reminded of something painful............sheesh.
OldOnTheInside Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 I'm going to abridge all of the comments here OP. Avoid her like the plague.
Author TomerT Posted June 9, 2011 Author Posted June 9, 2011 She's showing zero regard for your feelings by rattling your cage like she has been. It doesn't matter what her motivations for calling you are. If she had any clue about how much pain she put you through---she would take the time to write a letter --ONCE--showing genuine remorse for her actions, and ASKING YOUR PERMISSION to call you. And then she would leave the ball in your court,allowing you to decide whether or not to have any contact. Not getting a response from you should be a clue to her to just leave you alone, and allow you to heal. Calling repeatedly, when you're not responding, is very disrespectful and thoughtless on her part, as far as I'm concerned. It smacks of self-serving behavior. As if you need to be continually reminded of something painful............sheesh. So true ! Thanks for returning me back on solid ground. The funny thing - that if she would do any of these - she could have a best friend. I already did peace with myself and forgave her. Actually, by not answering I giving her a chance to make it right for herself.
Darren Steez Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Hang strong guy, her calling is just dredging up old emotions again. While you obviously won't answer the phone, I know part of you does and it's only natural because you loved her, and now I'm going to humanize her because she probably deeply regrets what she did and what she lost. But she f*cked up royally and no matter what, even if she's now the most reformed character, things will never be the same between you because of her betrayal. Be strong, tons of good women out there looking for Mr Right, go get 'em!!
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