purplepanda Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Okay, I have never had a fight with a boyfriend before. And my boyfriend and I are fighting, but I can't get him to talk to me about it. D: This morning, he was on his way to stay with his brother about 40 miles away (we live an hour apart), who goes to a local college. We had talked about his brother possibly giving him a ride to see me, and I asked him if he had talked to him. He said, "I'm sorry, baby. He won't do it. And I want to spend the weekend with my brother." I never even knew that he really liked his brother that much because his brother dated his friend and cheated on her. I talked to her today, and she said, "Yeah he talked crap on him yesterday". I was kind of upset, so I ignored the text, and he resent it ten minutes later. I said, "I got it the first time". Then he was kind of upset with me, and I was just giving one word replies. My ex will not stop bothering me and last night he got a hold of my bf and asked if we could be friends, even though I don't want to me. My bf brought that up and said, 'I know you're just going to cheat on me with him so you could at least flatter me with some conversation." I was so mad, I've NEVER cheated on him or given him reason. I said "**** you, it's over", out of anger. I didn't really mean that but I was so hurt over him thinking that and I explained the truth over my ex. :/ He said, "Message me when you aren't leaving me". "Whatever" "I love you" I said, 'Shut up', then immediately apologized, said I didn't mean it and that I loved him and didn't want to fight. He's been ignoring me since this morning. The only time he'll say anything is one word replies, then he stops replying when I said, Why can't we talk about this? In the last couple hours, the only things he's said to me are "Just let me be for the weekend" and "I love you too" and "yes we're still together". He's NEVER gone a day without talking to me. He usually freaks when we can't talk to each other. I'm scared and just upset. And I didn't talk to him for four hours before I texted him again, so don't think I've been bothering him nonstop... I told him that if we can't even talk the little things out, then big things will tear us apart and we shouldn't even be together. Once again, no reply. What do I do?
D-Lish Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Simply let him be for the weekend because that's what he told you he needed. He's stated that he just wants to enjoy the weekend with his brother. You're acting needyand selfish right now, and I am sure that's annoying him when he just wants to enjoy his weekend. You have to put your needs aside and respect his needs. He's reassured you he loves you and will see you when he gets back- so let him have his time with his brother without having to deal with your needs for the weekend. He'll respect you so much more for doing so. Let him be, do something nice for yourself for the weekend. His wanting to spend time with a family member has nothing to do with not wanting to be with you, so don't make it about that. Just relax, and be a cool gf, he'll truly appreciate it.
notuneak Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Yes, you don't sound confident. You sound very needy, like you have nothing to do over the weekend unless your bf is around. You need to get more of a life.
Nexus One Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 (edited) My ex will not stop bothering me and last night he got a hold of my bf and asked if we could be friends, even though I don't want to me. My bf brought that up and said, 'I know you're just going to cheat on me with him so you could at least flatter me with some conversation." I was so mad, I've NEVER cheated on him or given him reason. I said "**** you, it's over", out of anger. 1. He's either joking there and poking you a bit by saying that. (for jokes like that there is NO worse medium than text, because it eliminates all intonation) 2. He said it out of insecurity. In which case you should have realized it and set it straight immediately in order to let him know you're not that kind of person. But instead of taking the opportunity to set his opinion of you straight you took it as an insult and reacted accordingly. So now nothing has been solved. My ex will not stop bothering me and last night he got a hold of my bf and asked if we could be friends And that's where you should have cut off your ex once and for all and your boyfriend should have reacted with the answer: "No, I will not allow you and my girlfriend to be friends. First of all, you refuse to leave my girlfriend alone and keep bothering her when she asked you not to. Second of all you're romantically interested in her, which means you're stepping into my territory. So this is where it ends." The chain of events seems very much immature in my opinion. The amount of texting you guys do seems extreme too, when you mention every little thought you have during the day to each other over text, what will there be left to talk about when you see each other in person? How old are you guys if I may ask? Edited April 22, 2011 by Nexus One
Author purplepanda Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 1. He's either joking there and poking you a bit by saying that. (for jokes like that there is NO worse medium than text, because it eliminates all intonation) 2. He said it out of insecurity. In which case you should have realized it and set it straight immediately in order to let him know you're not that kind of person. But instead of taking the opportunity to set his opinion of you straight you took it as an insult and reacted accordingly. So now nothing has been solved. And that's where you should have cut off your ex once and for all and your boyfriend should have reacted with the answer: "No, I will not allow you and my girlfriend to be friends. First of all, you refuse to leave my girlfriend alone and keep bothering her when she asked you not to. Second of all you're romantically interested in her, which means you're stepping into my territory. So this is where it ends." The chain of events seems very much immature in my opinion. The amount of texting you guys do seems extreme too, when you mention every little thought you have during the day to each other over text, what will there be left to talk about when you see each other in person? How old are you guys if I may ask? I'm 17, he's 16 we're both Juniors. I haven't had my cell phone for two months, so we always call on my house phone. Right when I got my phone back a few days ago, he told me he went over his calling minutes, so we could only text, which I HATE. I hate texting, at least my boyfriend. :/
Author purplepanda Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 Yes, you don't sound confident. You sound very needy, like you have nothing to do over the weekend unless your bf is around. You need to get more of a life. He dumped me a year ago when he started hanging out with a bunch of other girls. He doesn't like his brother. And he just pretty much broke up with me. How can I NOT be scared??
Author purplepanda Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 He just broke up with me: out of the blue, just like last year. And guess what? He just used the same line as last year: I just don't see it working 53 miles apart. No, he got what he wanted. D:
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