Author JMacGirl26 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 Thank you, Karma. I do take responsibility though for allowing this to happen, even if I only saw him a handful of times. I am responsible for my own behavior and I should never have engaged in it. I keep wondering why, on that day, God placed him at that event for me to meet him. I believe everything happens for a reason, I just can't figure out what this reason is.
Author JMacGirl26 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 Best thing is to completely disappear ... no contact at all. Believe me, he will try again when you're doing well .. they seem to have a 6th sense for that. Block him and her from facebook, heal yourself and realize you made a mistake like all humans do. When you're tempted to spy ... talk to yourself and remember how you feel today. Do you really want to know what he is doing and spend your energy on that? I have the W blocked and the H has me blocked already! ha He did have my phone number, but I pray he tossed it, never to be found again! And yes...the spying...ugg. Curiosity killed the cat, right?? I am so weak when it comes to wanting to spy....I need to do just what you said and remember how I am feeling today and how I want nothing more to do with him now, or in the future. If he was to get divorced and contact me, he would only cheat on me as well.
Karmababe Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 There you go girl ... you really want that? Geezus, looking over your shoulder all the time? Keep talking, I'll help you through .. what a catch? Nah, you deserve way better. These guys have their own self-esteem issues that have nothing to do with you, you need to get that. You're a helper, I'm a helper .. at what point does this come at the expense of a day in your life having people do this to you?
Baroness67 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 From my perspective as a BS wife: You've sent the wife email(s) and she has not responded. She has her own reasons for not responding. Her husband may be floating her the lines that you are a crazy stalker and nothing happened, but you are angry at being rejected and are trying to make trouble for him. She may believe him. She also may not believe him but for her own reasons cares not to open the door further. It may not be the first time this has happened in their marriage and she's chosen to stay in bed - again for her own reasons. I wouldn't worry about blocking her. She's probably already blocked you. And even if she hasn't, you've probably given her enough information to find you in her own time - if she wants to. I'd try to minimize whatever damage I've already done and just go away. The husband is probably already kicking himself, and his only regret is that he risked some jollies with someone so indiscreet.
Author JMacGirl26 Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 UH? You sent her that email and now you want to block her??? You are regretful and remorseful and you felt bad enough that you wanted to send her an email, but now you want to block her when she hasn't even contacted you?? To block her now........is cowardly and twisted, imo. That absolutely makes no sense at all and sorry to be harsh but since you sent her the email, then you should be big enough to answer her questions if she asks them. I kept her unblocked for 2 weeks and never heard a word, so now she is blocked.
Author JMacGirl26 Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 From my perspective as a BS wife: You've sent the wife email(s) and she has not responded. She has her own reasons for not responding. Her husband may be floating her the lines that you are a crazy stalker and nothing happened, but you are angry at being rejected and are trying to make trouble for him. She may believe him. She also may not believe him but for her own reasons cares not to open the door further. It may not be the first time this has happened in their marriage and she's chosen to stay in bed - again for her own reasons. I wouldn't worry about blocking her. She's probably already blocked you. And even if she hasn't, you've probably given her enough information to find you in her own time - if she wants to. I'd try to minimize whatever damage I've already done and just go away. The husband is probably already kicking himself, and his only regret is that he risked some jollies with someone so indiscreet. Nah she didn't have me blocked b/c I could still pull up her profile page. I waited 2 weeks for her to respond and got nothing. He told me that he fessed up to her anyway, therefore I sent her an email taking responsibility for my part in being w/her husband on 2 occasions. I don't want trouble for him...I don't want to be with him. He makes me sick. He's a cheater and a liar and I am disgusted that I was weak.
Author JMacGirl26 Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 Nah she didn't have me blocked b/c I could still pull up her profile page. I waited 2 weeks for her to respond and got nothing. He told me that he fessed up to her anyway, therefore I sent her an email taking responsibility for my part in being w/her husband on 2 occasions. I don't want trouble for him...I don't want to be with him. He makes me sick. He's a cheater and a liar and I am disgusted that I was weak. I don't believe I am to blame for "damage." I think their marriage has already been damaged for many years. Any demise is his doing. Yes, I was morally wrong in being with him. Am I proud of it? NO. Will I ever do it again? NO.
Author JMacGirl26 Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 YOU have NO idea if she knows or not and furthermore as I stated in my other post to the OP, to block her after she sent that email is cowardly and just plain wrong. If she didn't want the BS involved or to know then she shouldn't have sent he email in the first place but she did it, so now she ought to OWN it and act with dignity and respect to the BS. That is the least she can do. The OP opened the door and it just isn't right that she should slam it shut now. Actually, HE told me that HE told her about meeting me and about his other transgressions. Since I believed at first he had gone home to talk to her, I emailed her. Had I thought it through and realized he is probably full of crap and never told her, then I wouldn't have emailed her to apologize and take resp. for my actions. Either way, it's not right for her to be lied to and cheated on.
Author JMacGirl26 Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 There you go girl ... you really want that? Geezus, looking over your shoulder all the time? Keep talking, I'll help you through .. what a catch? Nah, you deserve way better. These guys have their own self-esteem issues that have nothing to do with you, you need to get that. You're a helper, I'm a helper .. at what point does this come at the expense of a day in your life having people do this to you? Karma, thank you for understanding how I feel and for being so supportive. I know I've wronged and I've been immoral. Some people I guess will never allow me on this board to be remorseful and they will want me to be punished for what I did.
whichwayisup Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Thank you for your response, Desert. I am praying and I am so sick with myself for doing this. I knew nothing good would come of it and I know it's so wrong in every way. What do I do if the wife responds to my email and she wants revenge? I am so afraid of something like that. You own what you did. Tell her the truth. That YOU pursued him first. You chased him knowing full well he was married. But, also let her know that he gave you the greenlight to be chased. Give her details of what he said to you about her and their marriage. It's too bad that you didn't take time to think it through .. But, what's done is done, now the fallout is here to be dealt with.
whichwayisup Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Actually, HE told me that HE told her about meeting me and about his other transgressions. Since I believed at first he had gone home to talk to her, I emailed her. Had I thought it through and realized he is probably full of crap and never told her, then I wouldn't have emailed her to apologize and take resp. for my actions. Either way, it's not right for her to be lied to and cheated on. MM LIE. Ofcourse he told you that stuff..He probably never ever thought that you would contact his wife on facebook and leave her a message! It isn't up to you to scold him and make him suffer. YOU KNEW he was married and you still chased him from the start, you admitted that at the beginning of your first post. Sorry if that is harsh to read, but it isn't right that you pursued him knowing that he was married.
BB07 Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Karma, thank you for understanding how I feel and for being so supportive. I know I've wronged and I've been immoral. Some people I guess will never allow me on this board to be remorseful and they will want me to be punished for what I did. Not true about people not accepting you and understanding that you did something you now regret as I walk in those shoes too. Sure there are a few (very few) that won't ever let you forget it here and are nasty about it, but most people here are not that way. I would say that I can count some of the BS's here as my online friends and supporters. I really appreciate LS and all it's points of view, I don't think you can get there anywhere else. So hang around.
Author JMacGirl26 Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 You own what you did. Tell her the truth. That YOU pursued him first. You chased him knowing full well he was married. But, also let her know that he gave you the greenlight to be chased. Give her details of what he said to you about her and their marriage. It's too bad that you didn't take time to think it through .. But, what's done is done, now the fallout is here to be dealt with. Oh no, actually I didn't chase him at all! He chased me (literally) out of a fundraising event and asked for my business card. He then emailed me the next day telling me he wished he had time the day before to talk to me and get to know me better. I did no chasing whatsoever and stopped the relationship after just 2 encounters.
Author JMacGirl26 Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 MM LIE. Ofcourse he told you that stuff..He probably never ever thought that you would contact his wife on facebook and leave her a message! It isn't up to you to scold him and make him suffer. YOU KNEW he was married and you still chased him from the start, you admitted that at the beginning of your first post. Sorry if that is harsh to read, but it isn't right that you pursued him knowing that he was married. I don't think in my original post I said I chased him lol. Actually on more than one occasion I told him I couldn't see him, then I was weak and gave in and saw him only twice. He was very aggressive and pursued me from the get go. I never scolded him and I don't want him to suffer. I just want him to be honest w/her and stop hurting her by cheating on her, as he's done it in the past and it's mean. Yes I knew he was married and what I did was wrong. I'm owning up to that and I'm extremely remorseful for it.
Author JMacGirl26 Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 Amazing message today on FB that I received: So you've been hurt or maybe you hurt someone else. God can fix it. God may be nudging you this very moment to ask for forgiveness or be willing to forgive. Trust God, listen and act. There is no wrong that God cannot make right.
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