reallyconfused2542 Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 ok so here i go we were together for about a year sometimes rocky but she felt that i was her soul mate and that we were meant to be together. my problem was that i have a very hard time showing emotion and would leave her hanging when she would say i love you or do you think that well be together in the future. I really don't know why i did that only maybe i thought that it made me look weak in her eyes , who knows. about three weeks ago i started feeling her pull away and knew that something was going on with her. we sat in the car one day talking about it and she said that she needed some space and time to figure things out. im 31 and she's 21. she says that she couldn't deal with me not showing the emotion and all that. so once that happens i realize that im going to be losing her if i don't try and show this so i turn it around and start telling her i love you and that i know that were meant to be together and all that stuff. i really do mean it and regret not doing it from the beginning and that it took this to make me show her. so long story short i start texting her, not obsessively, but in the morning and nights telling her how much i love her and want to be together forever with her. she's having a tough time seeing me and wants her space to think. i guess my question is how long do i wait for her?i know all the feeling are still there for me that im the one for her and that well be together forever. and if the only thing was me not showing emotion how am i supposed to show her that i want to do it for her if i can never see her? is asking once a week ok with no other contact besides asking to see each other ok? this has really affected me more than i thought it would, the not eating or sleeping and wanting to constantly text her and show her that i am capable of being that guy who can show emotion. i guess that the hardest part because in my texts i put it all out there for her to read, everything about how i felt and what i wanted in the relationship. another thing is that i was supposed to go away with her and her family in a few weeks. how do i broach that topic without sounding pushy. we were supposed to go together and then go on and travel some more after that. do i wait a week or two before i ask? again all of this is new for me and right now im obviously in the desperation state of what do i do. any help or advice is greatly appreciated
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Lil1 Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 (edited) Have you always had a hard time showing your emotions? Why do you associate showing emotions to being weak? These are things you should really examine about yourself. It's great that you overcame this once you realized you were losing her (which indicates that you may not have such a big issue with being emotionally open after all), but I'm wondering if there is something more to what was preventing you from expressing your love to her when she clearly wanted you to be. 10 years is a big age difference, maybe in your subconcious you knew that it wasn't going to last? Maybe you really aren't sure if she is the one for you and therefore didn't want to fully open your heart to her? It may be a good idea for you to take this time to really think about your relationship and to think about her. Take things slowly, don't push the family outing. If after some deep reflection you still find that you really want to invest your future with her then be honest with her and open your heart to her in person (eye contact is crucial). But make sure that you are being honest with yourself first. Good luck! Edited April 22, 2011 by Lil1
Author reallyconfused2542 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 its always been tough for me and that was the main reason of my last breakup. and im not really sure why i have that association but i told her that and also that i wanted to make things right. ive been seeing a therapist for about a year now and this is always an issue. ive realized though over the last few weeks that i think that showing emotions and being able to convey them is what is the key to a successful relationship. im sure that im being honest with myself in saying that she is the on that i feel im meant to be with. i know the age difference is alot but age means nothing in either of our eyes. maybe thats a naive thing to say but i think its how we both feel. how am i supposed to show her that im able to convey these emotions if im not given the chance to see her? is asking sometime next week if she want to go to a movie to much?
Author reallyconfused2542 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 i know everyone on here is big with the nc thing but is that really the way to go when you want to show someone how youve changed or want to change? ive sent txts explaining how much she means to me and stuff like that. and maybe its losing self respect in some eyes but i feel like its all stuff that i should have been sayin during the entire relationship. i know all of those feeling that she has for me just dont disappear. whats the right way to go about this without pushing to much?i feel like im dyeing inside each time she doesnt answer my txts and i dont know what to do
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