oknotok Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 I have to get this off my chest before I explode. It is consuming way to much of my time and thought. It is affecting my ability to get school work done. I think he has succeeded in making me go crazy. Okay so I met a guy but there are immediate issues: #1) I met him on FB and he lives 450 miles away from me. #2) I go see him but he doesn't come see me. #3) He wants an open relationship because the distance isn't practical (which is true) and because he wants to have kids some day and I am unable to have them. #4) He remains in constant contact with me and even checks on my FB, seems a little jealous if I have plans and questions me but is fairly secretive about his comings and goings. #5) At the onset of this when I wasn't taking him seriously as a potential BF we had a discussion about 3some's and I told him I had one once but I was jealous and he asked could we have one cuz he never had and I said, I guess because it wasn't like I cared about him then. But that changed and he still pushes it because I went a long with it @ the beginning. He is occupying way to much of my mind. I think I am falling in love with him and this cannot end good. Sometimes I feel neutral other times I think I might die if I can't have him forever. Why can I stop with him? I think part of the problem is that he is so sweet towards me. He is really very affectionate and I have a lot of fun with him. But he is not the only guy in the world! Not only that I think I actually like the fact he cares about what I am doing and it lets me believe he really wants to be with me and is having a hard time with it too. He even introduced me to his brother last time I was there and said something weird to me last time I was there. I don't remember what I was doing but he said "Don't worry about it we are all family here" in response to something I was concerned with. Also he said I should transfer to the University where he lives so I can be closer to him. Who would do that for an open relationship? Oh I am really confused! He is making me crazy! Even now I should be studying for a test and getting homework done but he is interrupting all of this. Is there some way I can find out his true feelings? I thought about asking him directly because I really can't do it and I don't think he would answer me directly anyway. *sigh* My friends say quit him, which is logical advice but you know sometimes your heart has no logic. Also for the most part he is the first person I have met in a long time that has all the qualities I have been looking for. It has also been a long time since I have had so much fun with anyone, there is no struggle between us, everything is so easy. I am very picky when it comes to men and so I rarely find one I am happy with, so this really makes it difficult on me.
Survivor12 Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 "I go see him but he doesn't come see me." "He wants an open relationship" "he wants to have kids some day and I am unable to have them" "is fairly secretive about his comings and goings." he is still pushing you to for a 3-some "...that has all the qualities I have been looking for." Really??? You have been looking for a guy who doesn't care about you enough to make the effort to go see you or commit exclusively to you; who refuses to be open with you, who "pushes" you to do something you don't want to do, and with whom has dreams of a future that you cannot fulfill? Time for a reality check. You deserve better.
NoMagicBullet Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 No, the heart is not logical. Sometimes we want things and people that are not good for us. He may be sweet and affectionate, but there are too many big things in the way of a lasting relationship with him. Hard as it is, you need to ignore your heart and follow your head. You need to break up with him, because you two are not on the same page as far as sex and children are concerned. Distance is a minor thing compared to those two. It will hurt, probably for longer than you like, but after a while you'll feel better and you'll be free to find someone who is a better match for you.
Author oknotok Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 "I go see him but he doesn't come see me." "He wants an open relationship" "he wants to have kids some day and I am unable to have them" "is fairly secretive about his comings and goings." he is still pushing you to for a 3-some "...that has all the qualities I have been looking for." Really??? You have been looking for a guy who doesn't care about you enough to make the effort to go see you or commit exclusively to you; who refuses to be open with you, who "pushes" you to do something you don't want to do, and with whom has dreams of a future that you cannot fulfill? Time for a reality check. You deserve better. Wow, when you put it that way, I really am being stupid! Now I need to get myself to let go.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Wow, when you put it that way, I really am being stupid! Now I need to get myself to let go. I think that I would try to get 450 miles further away from this dude.
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